Depressing as the title of this post may sound, relax: I'm not here today to bore you and depress you by writing in ridiculous poncy prose about the shortcomings of my life (many though there are). I simply want to muse over the fact that where I am as a seventeen year old student right now is exhilarating, stressful and, well... slightly terrifying, to be honest.
Yesterday was the college deadline for UCAS - to anybody unfamiliar with this name, it refers to the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service, through which we (predictably) apply to university - and as of about ten o'clock last night, personal statements and uni choices are no longer of my immediate concern. I have officially applied to university!
So I'd like to take a moment to say this:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Where did the time go? When did I get so old? Ever since I was a child I've been thinking of uni as something that was a long way off (as it was, then) and suddenly, before I know it, I've chosen my five and sent off the form to some randomers who have nothing more than forty-seven lines and a few average grades to decide the course of my future. It's incredible and ridiculous and I still feel about twelve... I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing and part of me wants to curl up in a ball and just drop out of life completely.
The other half, though, can't wait. That half of me wants to get out there and kick some ass - finally show myself what I can do, finally find my place in the world. I'm lucky enough to know for sure that English Language and Linguistics is what I want to spend my life doing, but what does one do with that? It's not exactly career specific. What I really want to do with it is discover new theories about language that nobody has found before... I want to be one of the linguists in the English Language textbooks that most students come to loathe with a passion and the special few who are in love with language, the ones like me, are inspired by.
I always did have a split personality.
(Also, Hannah told me that Tristan (head of Humanities and her boyfriend - they are the sweetest couple alive - wants my personal statement to use as an exemplar response for next year's students; an achievement of which I am simultaneously proud and embarrassed. More proud though. Woooooo!)
Seriously though. If compulsory education is the beginning of our lives, we reached the end of the beginning nearly two years ago. But that's all it is; the beginning, the foundations upon which we build our worlds and balance our homes. Now we've constructed our worlds, we get to live in them, like on the Sims when you build an epic house and then you get to the fun bit where you get to control their lives. (I apologize to all those Sims on whom I've vented my bad moods over the years - it really isn't fair to kill you just because I'm a bit pissed off. Really helps though.) So let's get out there, kick some butt and show everyone that every negative thing they ever said about us was wrong.
(Except the bit about being lazy. That was true. Oh, and the bit about eating too much chocolate. And- well, we don't need to go there. The point still stands.)
(Premature P.S.: I've noticed from the blog's statistics that some of you wonderful readers are in Canada and Alaska; if that's you, drop me a line! I'd love to know who you are and what brings you here to the story of my not-so-interesting life and the pretentious style it's written in. Leave me a comment!)
And with that, I leave you in the capable hands of David Tennant in his first ever episode as the Doctor: "From the day we arrive on the planet and, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than - no, hold on... sorry, that's the 'Lion King'."
Molly x
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