Tuesday 27 March 2012

March 27th: A place to keep excitement


I am coming to you today from underneath a ridiculous pile of paperwork, the weight of which is currently pushing me down into the ground. If you were to lift said paperwork off me, there I'd be, grinning up at you from a nice Molly-shaped hole in the mud - out of which I'd be unable to climb, of course, due to just how deep the paper had squished me in there.

You may have gathered from that little introduction that I am currently 'doing' some of my paperwork for studying abroad... well, actually, if you had gathered that you'd be wrong, because I'm here writing this blog post instead. And even now I keep going on Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr instead of writing; I'm procrastinating about procrastinating. I'm doomed.

Moving on.

My study abroad companions and I had a meeting last week with our Head of Programme about choosing the modules we can study in Spain... things are moving forward! Each module is worth less than they are here, which means that I have to take more subjects to make up for it and consequently next year will be a lot harder than this year, especially as next year our grades themselves will actually count (as opposed to only needing to pass a module). I'm quite annoyed that that's not the case this year because I've been getting firsts and 2:1s, but alas. At least I'm starting with a bang.

However, as this whole study abroad business becomes more and more real, questions keep arising, as one would expect. Questions like "Would choosing to study both Spanish and Catalan at the same time be a good idea, or would they be too similar?" and "Why the dicknipple does student finance have to be so ridiculously confusing?" and "Oh God what the hell am I doing?"

The last one being due to the fact that this is becoming real very, very quickly. After two years of "Yeah, I'd love to study abroad one day" and choosing York St John (along with its fabulous course, decent entry requirements and incredibly beautiful location) for its study abroad opportunities; after the "should I, shouldn't I?" debates with myself over sending the application in; after writing and sending the application, all the "I really, really, really hope I get in" and the long-awaited "Congratulations! We can offer you a place" email; after the extra-curricular Spanish lessons; after deciding and applying to extend my stay to a year instead of a semester... after all that, finally, this is happening. And it's far scarier than last year's application to university - but hey, you get out what you put in, right? I was already far too emotionally invested in the idea of going abroad not to do it - it has been something I've wanted to do for so long, and so even when I doubted it, I was never going to give up on the idea. As far as I'm concerned, this was always going to happen.

And I write this because I am under no illusions that this is going to be easy. It's going to be one of the most incredible experiences of my life, but it will be hard. I know that. I'm ready for that. But I know, because I've done it since moving here, that I will come back to this blog in the moments when it's hard and read what I wrote about how excited I was to be coming here, to be studying linguistics, to finally be standing on my own two feet - to a certain extent, at least. This is the reason I created this blog - so that I could remember how these years of my life felt and so that I could document all the experiences, expected and unexpected, that have and will come my way.

That's why I have to keep writing these boring little posts - because sometime in the future I will need them to remind me why I moved to Spain and how sure I was that it was going to be amazing. I hope I'll never need to recapture that excitement, but if I do, I need it here, so I know where to find it. This is the place I store my feelings; it is a place to keep excitement.

And to finish off, I shall leave you in the capable hands of this 'ere grammar joke:

What do you call Santa's children?

Dependent Clauses.

Such fun!

Molly x

Thursday 15 March 2012

March 15th: As time goes on

Right now, students nationwide are signing house contracts. Probably students worldwide too, but I know for a fact that pretty much every student from every university in Britain is currently looking for and signing for a house to rent with their friends for the next academic year.

Not all students, of course. Some might stay in halls of residence for another year. Some might live at home and commute to university. The reason I'm not looking for somewhere to live next year is because it would be pretty pointless renting a house here in York when I'm spending the next academic year 894 miles South of here, in Tarragona, on the North East coast of Spain.

Me moving to the North East of countries seems to be becoming something of a theme these days.

(I was amused to find, when I Googled the distance between York and Tarragona (as I always like my blog posts to be as accurate as possible), that one website actually offered me driving directions... so if anybody needs to drive to the East coast of Catalonia anytime soon, I'm your girl!)

Right now, at uni, I'm "the Southern one". "The posh one". Not that I am posh; I just have a fairly strong received pronunciation-ish accent, out of which people up here just love to take the mickey. I was never really all that bothered with my roots before I came to uni, but now I do find myself clinging onto my Southern-ness a bit more. It means more to my identity than it ever did before, and because of that I find myself wondering if, despite the fact that I have never felt English in my life, moving to Spain might change that. When I move to Spain I will be both Southern and Northern, from the South of England but the North of the world, or almost at least, and it will form new parts of my identity that don't exist yet - just as every day I live here at uni continues to shape me.

All of this - going to uni, looking for houses, moving to another freaking country - it all makes us feel so grown up. It makes us feel like we're finally standing on our own two feet, actually being independent... actually being adults. But the moments where we should feel like adults make us feel even more like kids, out of our depth, and the moments where we do feel like adults only serve to highlight how much more we have to learn. It's like that moment where you successfully balance the clutch and the accelerator for the first time without stalling the car, or cooking your first proper meal, or your first time paying your rent. We still need to learn to move the car forward, and to not poison ourselves with our cooking, and to realise that the money with which we paid said rent came from Student Finance England and actually had nothing to do with us at all. We always seem to be growing but we never seem to be grown.

Do you think it will always be like this?

I think so. We're never going to know everything. It turns out that a whole load of the experiences I thought would come as time goes on have all come at once, but I guess that's the way life is. If we could learn everything, there would be nothing new to discover. There would be no new experiences to have, no new ambitions to follow, no new dreams to dream. I have dreamed of moving abroad for so long and now it's actually going to happen... keep dreaming your dreams, because even if they don't come true, at least you cared about something enough to try and follow it. At least you tried. The worst thing you can do is give up.

Molly x

P.S. This post was inspired by a conversation I had with Becky a couple of weeks ago. Conversations with old friends have a habit of giving me ideas.

Wednesday 7 March 2012

IMPORTANT!


This video and this message needs to spread... they should not be allowed to get away with this. Share this video people!


KONY 2012 from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.

Tuesday 6 March 2012

March 6th: Questions


The lovely Charlotte reblogged this on Tumblr, and since a) I have a grand total of five followers on Tumblr and therefore nowhere near enough to play this game, b) I adore these games and c) it's been a while since I wrote a new post, I thought I'd come and share it with my beloved bloglings instead. Here goes:

How are you?
Pretty good right now; thank you kind anonymous being of the internet!

Post a picture of yourself.
I frequently post pictures of myself and my friends on here, but if you're too lazy to go and look for them then tough. If you're that curious, refer to the 'burger face' over there. ---->
It's like my version of Lady Gaga.

"Can't eat my, can't eat my burger face!"

Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Not really. I used to, but I think that's something that a lot of people go through while they're growing up and settling into their bodies and their personalities. Now I'm pretty happy with who I am and though there are always things that can be improved, I don't think would actually choose to be someone else if I had the chance (and if it were possible).

What is your entire name?
Molly Ellen Turner. Can't really get a more English name.

How old are you?
Nearly nineteen. Twenty next year! Apparently I'm not allowed to feel old though - or so say the 25-year-old and 60-year-old members of my grammar class I ate lunch with today.

Age you get mistaken for:
Hmm, a difficult one. I look younger than I am, but I sound older... I think most people put me at the age I actually am or maybe a year or so older.

Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:
Taurus, and yes, I think so! My horoscopes are normally pretty accurate (don't judge me; they're my guilty pleasure!)

What did you do on your last birthday?
I had a spa day with three of my closest friends and a picnic in the sun with my family and some family friends. It was a brilliant day.

What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?
Hmm. Umm... well, my birthday is on the first day back after the Easter holidays, so I'd like to accomplish all my Easter holiday work! (Bit of a cop-out, but shush. It's my blog. I'm allowed.)

What is your hair colour?
Darkish brown... quite a nice colour, I think, but that's just my opinion!

And yes, I added the 'u' into 'colour'. Americanisms may be closer to Old English than current British English is but... my blog, my rules.

Have you ever dyed your hair?
I have not. This is possibly because (as stated above) I'm rather fond of my hair colour. Considered dyeing it dark red once though... thank God I didn't!

What is your eye colour?
Brown, with flecks of green in the summer.

If you could change your eye colour, would you?
I loooove green eyes, so maybe, but I think I'd look pretty strange with anything but brown eyes!

Do you wear contacts/glasses?
Nope. I have - what I call - perfect eyesight.

Do you have any tattoos?
I most certainly do not! I find them highly chavvy and repulsive.

Do you have any piercings?
Yes, one in each ear.

Left or right handed?
Right handed all the way!

What’s your sexual orientation?
Straight.

Do you drink?
It is my understanding that every human being drinks, but since I'm assuming the question refers to the consumption of alcohol then yes, I do.

Do you smoke?
No.

Yuck.

Do you have any pets?
My family has two long-haired Norwegian forest cats, one of which is mine. She's called Coco, is the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life and I miss her more than I can possibly begin to describe.

Something you are working on right now:
My study abroad exchange to Spain in September! I've been obsessively researching and planning every last detail, pretty much to the exclusion of everything else (which is really bad, considering I need to actually pass my modules to be allowed to go).

I did tell you guys I'm going for a year instead of a semester now, right?!

Do you have any “rules” about food?
Umm... it has to be cooked? Only if it's hot food, you understand.

Where are you from?
England. Down South. Though I've never felt English in my life.

What would you say is your best quality?
Um... I've sort of got a knack of making things work out the way I want them to, even when it's completely unlikely that they will. I'm not sure that's a quality though. That might relate to the star sign question actually - apparently we Tauruses (Tauri?) have 'faith that everything will work out'.

What do you think you’re really good at?
I swear this is the hardest question in the world to answer. Ummmmm... I've honestly been thinking about this for three minutes and nothing springs to mind. Well, that's a bit depressing!

What do you think you’re really bad at?
Sports. Without a doubt.

Are you a bad person?
...How can I answer this? I'm not perfect, but I'm not terrible. (And besides, I've got a theory about perfection).

Are you nice to everyone?
Oh, come on, this is just ridiculous. Who's nice to everyone? I'm not consciously rude (probably over polite actually), but there are probably some people I annoy.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
Yes, and because we were in secondary school, we were immature, and we had nothing better to do. And when I say "we" I do of course mean "they".

What is your ideal bed? Why?
It has to be firm. Comfy, but firm. It needs to support me.

Did you wake up cranky?
No, I woke up thinking "bollocks!" because I fell back to sleep after my alarm went off and woke up ten minutes before I had to leave.

Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?
I never used to, but my mum has this huge polar bear called Hector whom I've brought to uni with me. He's the size of a small child and is the best thing ever to hug when you're lonely.

What do you think about the most?
Ridiculous as this sounds, I kind of see my life as having 'trending topics', like Twitter. What that says about my hours of internet consumption/mental state is better off not thinking about, but it's interesting. I suppose what's 'trending' in my life at the moment is my impending trip to Spain, my trip home this weekend, Charlotte coming up to visit next weekend, Cora coming to stay with me, uni work, summer jobs and a couple of other things.

What you want to be when you “get older”?
Ah, bloglings, surely you're bored of hearing about this by now! Linguistic-y things.

What are your career goals?
Is this not the same as that ^ question?

I'd quite like to publish a linguistic theory, but that's going to be difficult/expensive/long/take talent and determination I'm not sure I possess. It would be amazing though!

Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
If you've been following this blog, you'll know it was set up two and a half years ago and therefore you'll know that my life is completely different from how it was two years ago. I literally don't think it could be any more different!

Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
All the time. And I cringe.

Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
No, I don't think so. Nobody springs to mind (har har).

Say 10 facts about your room:
1. There's a bathroom in it. A very small, square bathroom, like a bath-cube.
2. The walls are covered in notes on the phonetic alphabet and Spanish numbers on one side, and photos of my friends, my study abroad checklist, some pink fairy lights and a very awesome Doctor Who poster on the other.
3. It's in a halls of residence, so I live in a building with a LOT of other people.
4. My bed is perfect. Seriously. I've even had friends fall asleep on it without meaning to. It's that perfect.
5. It has a red theme. I have a red kettle, red towels, red curtains (which was a coincidence) and a red throw on my bed.
6. There's a kettle in it.
7. I have a luminous green clock in the shape of a giant wrist watch.
8. It really needs hoovering.
9. It's rectangle shaped, like a really long... rectangle.
10. I'm pretty sure uni kitted out all the rooms in this halls with Ikea.

Do you have any phobias?
Fire. Hate it.

Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?
Not exactly. Did hypnotherapy once... it has 'therapy' in the title and therefore it counts.

Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?
Not to my knowledge, and hopefully it'll stay that way.

Ever broken any bones?
No. Don't intend to either.

Ever come close to death?
No... although I'm pretty sure the car we hired on holiday last year came close enough.

Do you have a Facebook? If so, would you add the person who sent you this?
I do indeed, and since the person from whom I got this (even though she didn't send it to me) is one of my best friends, yes I would!

Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
Yes, you stalkers.

Describe yourself in one word/sentence:
If my Northern friends had anything to do with it, it would probably be 'posh'.

A quote you try to live by:
"Everything happens for a reason."

A famous person you’ve been compared to:
Angelina Jolie once, though I've got absolutely no idea why!

Weird things you do when you’re alone:
Listen to foreign music; dance like a loony in my underwear... normally to foreign music; realise the curtains were open and the people in the flats opposite could see me dancing like a loony in my underwear.

Something you do without realising:
Learn the grammar of your first language.

But perhaps that was a bit generic for what the question intended, so... play with my hair.

Someone you’d like to be for a day and why:
A boy, so I could see how they think and how they behave and what it's like to have a body so different from my own.

How often do you listen to music?
Dude, every day!

What kind of music you like?
I like pop, but I also like musicals, a bit of rock... anything really, except heavy metal. I listen to a lot of foreign music because it helps a surprising amount when you're trying to learn a language.

Do you like to dance?
Do I like to? Yes. Would I do it in public? No.

Except zumba. Zumba's AMAZEBALLS.

Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
Ohhh yes.

Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past:
The song "Born to Make You Happy" by Britney Spears reminds me of my mum because she always says it reminds her of me, and it makes me think of sitting in the car with my family as we drove home from her birthday weekend last year. I'd made her a CD for her birthday and that was the first song on it.

A song that’s been stuck in your head:
En Que Estrella Estara - Nena Daconte


Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:
1. Ni Puedo Ni Quiero - Amaia Montero
2. The Man That Can't Be Moved - The Script
3. What You Don't Know - Monrose
4. Friday (my cover) DON'T JUDGE ME IT'S FUN TO SING IN AS NASALLY A VOICE AS POSSIBLE.
5. Donde Estas - Nena Daconte
6. Rain/Hold On - Ghost the Musical
7. Knep Smerten Væk - Thomas Holm
8. Misery - Maroon 5
9. Cuatro Segundos - Amaia Montero
10. Dybt Vand - Svenstrup & Vendelboe ft. Nadia Malm

A book you want to read/have recently read:
A Practical Introduction to Phonetics. Yes, it is just as fascinating as it sounds!

Pleasure wise, just read From Notting Hill With Love... Actually and am reading The Historian.

That particular book is also fabulous for the "in your pants" game. "The Historian... in your pants". Such fun.

Describe your dream library:
Filled with books on phonetics, psycholinguistics, Spanish, Danish, Wicked, My Sister's Keeper, a nice load of 'pink books in fluffy covers' and some nice 'deep' books too. Alternatively, just your bog standard library will do; such is the extent and depth of my adoration for books.

Last movie you watched:
Love Actually. Started watching it when I got in from a night out at four o'clock last Friday morning... got seven minutes in, fell asleep and then finished it when I woke up. Ah, how I love my life.

What type of movies do you like watching?
I love a good chick flick, it has to be said. There's a comfort in a nice predictable film where nobody gets blown up and you can revel safely in the expectation of a happy ending. I like films with a bit of substance to them as well, but I only tend to watch chick flicks here at uni because I find them comforting and relaxing.

Well, my dear bloglings, I hope you've learnt a little more about me from this very long post! I have three minutes to post this before it becomes the wrong date, so I shall leave you now and go to bed.

Molly x