2013

Well. Bit late, I know, but I thought it was important to reflect on 2013... though it was perhaps the most 'tranquil' of years that I've had recently, in that there were no big changes, it was still a very important year, and one that I'll remember for the rest of my life.

In 2013 I lived in five different places with four different sets of people in two different countries (or three if, like me, you consider Mallorca and Spain different too), passed numerous exams, finished my second year, went to my first music festival, went to another one, saw eleven bands (including my favourite, twice), went to a calçotada, made a lot of new friends, became closer friends with people I met previously, experienced my first Sant Jordi (and my birthday on the same day), got four roses, went to two surprise parties, saw David Crystal speak, went to a graduation that wasn't mine, lost a friend, got rained on by 25,000 tonnes of confetti, made a new family out of my uni housemates, dressed up as a Catalan recycling advert, was a subject of a class language investigation using a language I'd been learning less than a year, spent all night in the library, lived with a family that wasn't mine, spent a lot of time on the beach, went to a water party, started my dissertation, got pickpocketed, made a police report in a foreign language, went on a tapas crawl, visited twelve new towns, got mistaken for many different nationalities besides English, became an au pair for the first time, got paid for teaching English again, used four languages in one day, taught English to over ten people, went on a lot of nights out, tried a lot of new foods, became an English teacher over Skype, had my first fluent-ish conversation in a foreign language, got 97% in a Catalan exam and did a Christmas concert with Octava.

All in all, a rather awesome year! May 2014 be even better - and for you guys too, of course! Happy New Year!

Molly x

September 17th: Back t'North

Today I'm moving back to York, for the third and final year of my degree. It's bittersweet, leaving again, another goodbye when I feel like I've only just come home, but it's also an arrival. A new beginning. A chance to see all those people I haven't seen for the last year and a half and to be in York once again - beautiful, wonderful York, who captures my heart all over again everytime I set foot in it.

I have had the most amazing year in Spain and Mallorca, full of highs and lows and experiences and opportunities. If you remember that post about the things I'd like to do before I die, you'll know that living abroad was on it; I realised a dream this year.

I've been lucky, so far, to have had opportunities like these and to have a family and a support system who made me feel like I could do it. If I had to choose the most important of all the things the last year has taught me, I think it would be that people are the most important thing in one's life. It's not money, or power, (although I wouldn't say no if someone were to offer me those things), it's love. It's the people you run to when something goes wrong; the people you call when something exciting happens; the people you recite that amusing anecdote to. Because what's the point of it all, of doing all these things, if you've got no-one to share it with?

Leaving home is scary for everyone. It was more scary for me the first time, exactly two years ago today, but even now I still get nervous about leaving. I love it once I'm there, of course, but... home is familiar. Home is comforting. Home is safe. The big wide world can't get you there, and it's so lovely to be protected, after all the time we spend in the big wide world pretending we know what we're doing. But we have to spread our wings a bit; and when we do, we realise that those things we dream about don't have to stay dreams. Some of us get to live those dreams. Don't you want to see if you'll be one of them?

Molly x

Reminders and adventures

Hola bloglings!

Just wanted to remind you all that despite the lack of posts I'm not dead; if you haven't been reading my Spain-specific blog, I am still posting (sporadically and randomly) on there. I've been back in England for almost four weeks now, and tomorrow I'm heading off to Mallorca to be an au pair for a while, so I've got plenty to say!

Fins aviat, bloglings!

Molly x

March 16th: The cogs that make the wheels turn

I went home last weekend to surprise my mum for Mother's Day, and when I left, my mum said to me "For the first time, I feel like you've actually left home". I'm not entirely sure how it's taken her that long (or indeed how far away I need to go) for it to really sink in, but it got me thinking. 

When I look back on the last few years, I really, honestly don't recognise myself. Three or four years ago, every single thing about my life was different, except for one thing. My friends. Back then, we spent every day together (even if I didn't technically know Lauren quite that far back, it feels like she's been my friend forever).

I mean, we're all different people. Becky can create beautiful art by simply picking up a paintbrush, and Charlotte can do the same with a pen. Zoe knows exactly how to capture a moment that will last forever, and Lauren chose a different path entirely. I know how humans acquire language, and how many morphemes make up a sound. And, you know, these are things that people can live without knowing. I don't need to know how a camera takes a photo; to my philistine mind, it just does. Becky and Charlotte make art and writing look so easy, though there's so much more to it than meets the eye. And we don't need to know how languages work in order to be able to speak them - we just can.

In the end, we all do the same thing. We know the intimate details of things to which most people don't give a second thought. That is what every human does; all of our interests revolve around the little components which make the big things work, and it's got me thinking about how things change. My friends and I don't see each other everyday. We don't even talk everyday. Now, instead of knowing all the little ins and outs of the other person's day, we only know the big things. Things are reversed now. But it doesn't matter, because even though we don't know all the details of the cogs that make the wheels turn, turn they do, and we're still close, almost two years after we all left for uni, even though we were warned that we'd drift apart.

I don't know where I'll be in ten years. Where I'll be, what I'll be doing, who I'll know. Hell, I don't even know where I'll be in three months. Doing an Erasmus changes you, and the idea of going back to my monolingual country and my monolingual, monocultural life just seems... flat. There's so much to be seen and so much to be done, but there's no point in any of it if there's nobody to see it and do it with you. Half the fun of this is sharing it with the people I love, and though I wish they were here to experience it with me, they're not. At least we have the internet, right?

Molly x

February 27th: Reasons I love being a linguistics student

As much as I think an exchange or an Erasmus is an invaluable experience for anybody, no matter what they study or where their interests lie, personally - and I might be a little bit biased here - I think language students and linguistics students get a little bit more out of it than somebody who studies, say, maths, for example.

That's not to say that I don't think living abroad is equally beneficial for people who don't study linguistics. Whatever you study, it's an experience that is more than worth doing and I can't recommend it enough. Go, people, see the world!

I realise that even within an area where you'd expect to find a group of people who are all passionate about what they do, this isn't always the case. Some people within my year group study English Language and Linguistics because there are lots of job prospects when you finish, or even because they think it'll be easy, or maybe just because they couldn't think of what else to do their degree on. And yes, some people may think that visiting Oxford and spending half the day sitting in the linguistics section of the Oxford University Press bookshop is sad, but not me. I am a linguistics nerd and proud of it, and I am not ashamed to admit that I spent a day in one of the most beautiful towns in England reading a textbook on the syntax of Old Norse. Luckily I've found a group of people who know exactly what it's like to feel that passionate, because all of them feel that way about what they study too.

I can take one step outside my flat and hear two languages, just like that. I am surrounded everyday by people who are fluent in three languages as a bare minimum. Some of the signs in restaurants and shops are written in five languages. Being here, my little monolingual brain is a sponge, and with every new word that I learn, I am learning more about the world. This is all fascinating to me. It's fascinating that these foreign words that are just sounds to me have actual meaning and significance to speakers of that language, and it's like I have a barrier in my head that they don't have, stopping me from understanding; it's fascinating that even if I did become fluent in a language, I will never have the same insight into it as a native speaker, because some things can not be translated.

There are many reasons I love being a linguistics student. I live with two fellow linguistics students, and it is a common occurrence in our flat to walk in and find one of us sitting at the table, staring into space, making strange noises; or hear the terms 'fricative', 'uvular' and 'alveolar ridge' floating about and not assume they mean something dirty. But the number one reasons I love being a linguistics student are all tied up with living here in Spain. I constantly want to use Spatalan words in conversations with or emails to my family or friends from home, but they won't understand and it's frustrating. Here, I can use three languages in one sentence and nobody would bat an eyelid. (This is not necessarily a good thing. If I were good enough at Spanish or Catalan to be able to speak solely in one of them, I would.)

But on Saturday night, I went clubbing with the Erasmus students for a couple of peoples' birthdays. We were all in 80s fancy dress, and while we were in the taxi, a little bit drunk, with our crazy hair and makeup, rather than talking about getting drunk like normal English girls on a night out, we were practising Catalan and Spanish with the taxi driver.

I love the fact that this is my life.

Molly x

I need your help!

Hola bloglings,

I know it's been a while since I last posted here, and I don't have time to write a full update now, but I need your help: last week my camera was either stolen or lost, and I thought I may as well try and harness the power of the internet to try to get it back!

It's a red Canon IXUS 500 HS (it looks like this):

and it was lost at the carnival in Sitges, Catalonia, Spain last Tuesday (12th February 2013).

I love this camera so much and I'm desperate to get it back - and of course all the photos on it are memories I will never get the chance to replace. Please, if you have it or think you know the person who does, please get in touch with me via the comments and I will be eternally grateful!

Thank you!

Molly x

January 9th: 2012

I realise this is a bit late, and I really have no excuse because I passed all my exams (woohoo!) so I don't even have any work to do... but by now you should all be used to me and my ridiculously sporadic updates here!

I wanted to write a New Year update (because I'm original like that) because 2012 was, frankly, a bit of a kickass year. I had a feeling it would be, but sometimes it's not until you come out the other side that you can see exactly how great something really is.

2012 was the year I visited three new countries (and three 'old' ones) and eleven new cities, started learning two new languages, worked in a pub for the first time, went on a cruise for the first time, and moved abroad for the first time (though I have a feeling it won't be the last). It was also the first full year I lived having moved out of my childhood home, though I did spend a few months back there in the summer. I also taught English for the first time, to a fourteen year old Italian boy and three Catalan children aged five and three. In 2012 I met a hell of a lot of fabulous people from all over the world, actually started enjoying nights out, experienced my first  nine-day-long Spanish festival, learnt how much fun it can be to live with friends, and fell hopelessly in love with the Catalan culture and language.

I get to spend the first half of 2013 back in Spain, and then I embark on my third and final year of university. I don't feel old enough to be halfway through my degree already and I know most of my friends feel the same way, but we'll just have to make the most of the time we have left.

Molly x

December 5th: Three years on

On this day three years ago, I went Christmas shopping with a girl I now haven't spoken to for about two years.

I know this because I wrote about it three years ago, as one of the daily updates I did when I first started this blog - as I've been immersed in the ridiculous amount of work I'm currently expected to do, Mind's Eye Of Mine's third birthday slipped quietly by.

This blog's anniversary is on the last day of November, and I started it in my first year of college, and frankly, I am amazed that I've managed to keep it going for three whole years. The point of it was to collect all my thoughts and musings on my student years, and I'd say that so far that's been fairly successful - even though I am extraordinarily bad at posting on a regular basis.

Well... what can I say? What can I say that I haven't said a hundred times before? Yes, my life is different now than it was three years ago. Indeed, I am different to the person I was three years ago. No, I don't know where I'll be in three more years - but isn't that the point? If I could predict what's going to happen in my life, why would I need this blog to document it all?

Life is short, chicos. But it can be awesome, and I choose to share my life, both the awesome bits and the not-so-awesome bits, with a bunch of strangers from all around the world. I love you guys; thank you for stumbling across my blog in whatever way you did, and for sticking around.

Adéu for now!

Molly x

November 5th: To miss

Miss (verb)

      -  to notice the absence or loss of.

      -  to discover or regret the loss or absence of.

I was having a look through my old Tumblr posts just now (just one of the timewasting methods in my highly developed repertoire of procrastination), and I stumbled upon a few posts that I wrote around this time last year.

One of them was talking about 'home', and how much I missed it - if not the place itself, but the familiarity of it and the occasions it was once home to. I talked about missing college; about the days I spent with my friends, happily ensconced in its routine. We had so many good times during those two years. But as I read that post, I thought about college, and I realised that though I still look back on it fondly, I no longer miss it. If I was offered the chance to go back there, I wouldn't take it. So much has changed since then, and I am not the same person I was when I attended college; or rather, I am, but the new, improved version.

Now, when I read that post, I think of last year. While I was living last year, I was comparing it to everything that had gone before; now, I am living this year and comparing it to the one I 'complained' about last year. I miss York, but I am absolutely certain that I'll do the exact same thing next year, when I'm back in its cold (but beautiful) clutches, wondering if Spain was real or whether I just dreamt the whole thing up.

Human beings. We're never happy, are we? I really love it here; there is a huge part of me that would never leave if she had her way, and yet I'm still thinking - not exactly favourably, but extremely fondly - upon my first year of university. It's almost like I'm wishing I were back there again, just so that I still had all of this to come.

But now I have two homes. York and Tarragona. Both places where I've made a life for myself independently. Reading is the place where I grew up, but I don't consider it home, not like the other two. York and Tarragona are places where it makes me happy to be, places I miss when I'm away from them - and if that's not home, then what is?

Most of the time, Tarragona feels like home to me. Right now, though, I think York is winning just a little. Autumn is my favourite season in England, and lovely as it is here, Spain just doesn't do it like the Brits.

Molly x

October 20th: That feeling

You know that feeling you get when you're in a big city for the first time, and everything's new and bright and exciting? And you forget that for thousands of people that city is just a boring canvas upon which they live their daily lives, because you can see the beauty and the wonder in it, and you can't understand why anybody ever complains about living there?

And then your heart sort of expands a little bit because your ability to see the beauty and the wonder in that place allows you to suddenly see the beauty and the wonder in the whole world, and you realise just how incredible and amazing life can be?

Yeah, you know that feeling? That's me, right now.

I've been so busy with uni work over the last week that I sort of lost the ability to recognise the fact that all this is amazing. I was swamped with it all, and it meant that I had my first real 'low' since I moved here. But tonight, I'm sitting here in my room with my balcony doors open, waiting for it to be time to start getting ready to go out, and I can hear the Saturday night atmosphere building up outside, and I have that feeling in my heart.

I had it constantly when I first moved here. And God, I love it here. I love this life; the place, the people, the culture and oh my God, the languages... I think that maybe, just maybe, this is just where I'm supposed to be right now. At risk of using the cliche of all cliches, life is short, so do something crazy. Make it count. Because if a few days of feeling swamped by work or missing home is the price I have to pay for this experience, then I will take it a million times, and I will enjoy the few months that I am here to the fullest possible extent; after all, this feeling - this amazing feeling, the one that tells me I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be - I don't know when I'm going to get the chance to feel that again.

Molly x

September 8th: A week has passed

I have indeed been living in Spain for a week now and good grief, how the time has flown! I've packed so much into this week that I feel I've definitely been making the most of living here and enjoying a culture in which I feel far more at home than I ever did in England. If only I could get my Spanish and Catalan to hurry up and improve, everything would be perfect - but apart from that, everything pretty much is.

I'd just like to remind you all that updates on this blog will be few and far between - everything to do with Spain will be posted on www.fromenglandtoespana.blogspot.com (or the link Molly goes to Spain on the right hand side of the page).

Stay awesome everyone!

Molly x

August 29th: Almost there

Well, bloglings, time has once again passed, and after about two years of deliberation and planning, I find myself staring down the barrel of my new life in Spain.

It's funny how quickly it seems to have arrived; I mean, I've been planning this for a really long time, and all of a sudden I'm here and I'm not quite sure where all the time's gone. With three days to go, I'm now into the crazy last minute stages of packing and organising and saying goodbye to everyone... of course it feels like I have way too much to do in way too little time, but the time will pass nonetheless, and in three days' time I will board a plane that will take me away from England and deliver me into the experience of a lifetime.

Hopefully. I am flying Ryanair, so you never know.

I jest, I jest! But seriously, I am under no illusions that this isn't going to be difficult and scary, but I certainly won't be going through it alone. I hope that my friends and I can be each others' support when the going gets tough, and I hope we'll come out of it enriched and not wanting to go home.

I would also like to draw your attention to a new page on my blog, Molly goes to Spain, on which I will be posting most of my updates about my life throughout the next year. There's not much on it yet, but please do check back as we get past the first of September and into the upcoming academic year.

Hasta pronto, amigos!

Molly x

July 21st: Blogs, bloglings and the blogosphere

Well, bloglings, I should be hanging my head right now, too ashamed to show my face in the blogosphere... I didn't mean to be gone for almost two months, I promise! I'm just a very bad blogger (and one who has used three different forms of the word 'blog' in the last sentence. Not cool.) but I'm back now and I come bearing updates!

To be quite honest, it would be very sad if I didn't come bearing updates, as it would mean that nothing had happened during the last two months of my life. But moving on.

Firstly: I passed my exams! The actual grades don't count this year, but I passed my first year of uni with a high 2:1 without actually doing that much work... I've heard the workload increase is going to be something of a shock during my second year, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Speaking of second year, passing my exams has completed the puzzle, and I received this from my exchange university:

So that confirms it; I am definitely, officially, unconditionally moving to Spain. There are no more conditions to meet; nothing else that can get in the way (short of the Spanish economy collapsing, but I prefer not to think about that) and so in six weeks' time, I will be leaving this country and not returning for months and months and months. Well, I'll be home for Christmas, but don't burst my bubble. I was being dramatic.

I am currently not freaking out too much, but I'm fully expecting to freak out on a major scale as the move approaches. Although maybe the past year in York has made me more capable - sort of like a practice run. I'm the girl who moves five hours away from home and then decides that she wants to go further... but it's not because I don't like my home. Actually I think it's the opposite; that growing up in such a secure environment has given me the confidence to go as far as I like, knowing that I'll always have something and somewhere to return to.

Molly x

June 2nd: Worse things in life

It's funny how these days, I think of years as beginning and ending in the summer. I suppose that's what comes of three or four years of chapters ending in May and June and new ones beginning in September; exams, and with them, the end of sections of my life I had only just got used to living.

This year is no different. Right now I'm in the car on my way back down South - my room at uni is empty and my key dropped off. I don't live in York anymore, and it's hitting me surprisingly hard.

I just wrote "on my way home" and then I deleted it and put "down South" instead. Because how can I be going home? Reading may be the place I grew up in, the place I spent eighteen years living in, but how can York not be my home when it's the first place I've been independent, the first place I've lived as a whole person rather than as a part of a family? It's the first place I myself have ever chosen to live. How can York not be my home?

No, for the second year in a row, I am leaving my home. I'm going back to live with my family again. It's a bit strange how final this feels; if it's this depressing finishing one year of university, I can't imagine what it's like for the people leaving for good. But on the other hand - I've finished one year of university! I'm not a fresher anymore! I did it! That's huge and that's amazing and that means that things are getting real now. My grades actually count now. As they do every year, the stakes are getting higher. Again.

I'm a third of the way through my degree and the next two years are going to fly. Nothing ever lasts as long as it should... it feels like the minute I get used to some huge adjustment in my life and actually settle in and start enjoying myself, everything changes again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining; living in Spain is going to be an incredible experience and it is what I chose to do. It's simply that I fell in love with York and my life there, and now it's over.

But there are worse things in life than being sad because something amazing has ended. I'd rather be sad to leave than happy to, because that means that I made the most of living in halls, and I will always remember the amazing times that I had there.

Molly x

May 29th: Relocating again

Well, once again it is entirely too late to be writing a blog post, but I can't be bothered to go to bed so I've started the mammoth task of packing up my room instead. So far I've filled up two suitcases and there's no visible difference (unless you look in the drawers and cupboards, of course), which kind of indicates a) how much of a mammoth task this is, and b) just how much crap I've accumulated since I moved here. God knows how I'm going to manage to fit everything in one suitcase when I move to Spain!

One of York's many beautiful parks

The last couple of weeks have been perfect. The weather's been gorgeous, York is as beautiful as it always is in hot weather (and indeed any other type of weather) and the time I've spent here since my exams finished has passed in a blur of days sunbathing in various parks, social gatherings and the odd trip t'pub. It's been just like being on holiday and it's been such a wonderful end to my first year of university that right now, I never want to leave.

But I am. I'm leaving on Saturday morning, which suddenly seems very soon. But I've been making the most of the last few weeks I have here; last week Zoe came up to visit me and we spent many days chilling in the sun and having picnics. Friday was our summer ball, which was amazing. Everybody had really made an effort, getting all dressed up and ready to celebrate the end of a really amazing year. It was weird to think, as I stood there at uni amongst the festivities, that this time last year I didn't know any of these people. I've only known them for eight months at the most and been friends with them for shorter - because it takes time to cultivate friendships - but it feels like a lifetime. I suppose that in a way it is a lifetime, because this is a whole new chapter of our lives; a whole new place, a whole new group of people. My life before I came to York feels like a million years ago, and yet just yesterday... it's very strange to think that wherever you go, despite how alone you may feel in the beginning, you'll eventually find a new group of people you fit in with, and they'll become the people you live your new life with. But that's also an incredibly comforting thought; leaving people behind is always scary, but maybe we should think of it more as an opportunity to meet more people; to make more friends. The world is our oyster, and the more of it we see, the more we'll find people who are just like us.

It will be very strange leaving this one behind! She 's the person I've spent the most time with here at uni and after I leave, I probably won't see her for a year and a half (she's going to study in Poland while I'm in Spain). Throughout the last eight months we've had many a deep conversation, boogie to foreign songs (before I came to uni I was worried that I wouldn't have anybody to listen to Danish music with and then I discovered a Dane (i.e. Louise) on my course and immediately thought "Going to be friends with her. She has no choice in the matter.") and a hell of a lot of red wine, which has meant that my tolerance for alcohol has risen an alarming amount since I moved here. Ah, but I have so many amazing memories of stuff I've done with Louise and I'll really miss her over the next year and a bit. Bring on third year!

Molly x

May 9th: Hope for the future

I know it's been a while since I last posted here, but alas, it's exam time once again and I must say that this year I am actually working quite hard for my exams - not that it'll make any difference; I probably still won't do brilliantly, but I blame that on having four exams in 6 days (including a weekend), plus an entire twelve weeks' worth of Spanish portfolio I've left until the last minute AND a 2,500 word essay. You'd think I'd have learnt by now, but no, I remain the Queen of procrastination (or just the Queen, according to my friends at uni. I fear their mockery of my 'posh' Southern accent will never cease).

I have my first exam tomorrow, and it's a Spanish oral exam. I'm only a beginner at Spanish, so the whole thing will be over in ten minutes, and I have to say that though I despise oral exams with every fibre of my being, I feel quite sad at the thought of my Spanish lessons coming to an end. They're not stopping permanently, of course, because I'm moving to Spain in four months and it's compulsory for us to take Spanish there (and I would do even if it wasn't, because I'd quite like to be able to converse with the people in my new home).

I seem to be taking quite a while to get into this post. At the moment I'm too busy to sleep or eat (ironic, isn't it, that just when one needs sleep and food most, time and other factors dictate otherwise?), let alone write a blog post, but here I am. I felt the urge, and as all my writer-y friends, pretentious or otherwise, know, one does not ignore the call of the urge. So I'm sitting listening to the 'Spanish' playlist on my phone and musing on the fact that a year after my life changed completely drastically, it's about to change all over again. Life is hectic and life is crazy, but I suppose the one thing my life can't be described as is boring. And that's a good thing. But it's also a completely overwhelming, amazing, terrifying thing that I have yet to get my head around even now.

There's a reason I haven't shown you guys my room here in York yet, and that was that I found it highly irresponsible to post such things on the internet, but I want to remember this. I'm happy, you see. After eight months here I have finally got my room the way I like it, and I've kind of got my life the way I like it too. I can't make up my mind whether it's a good thing, when one reaches this stage, to keep things the same until they reach a sort of stagnation, or to quit while one's ahead; to change everything up again to stop that staleness from setting in. So far I've found that if you don't shake it up every once in a while, life sort of has a habit of doing it for you (and usually just when you've got everything the way you want it) so in my opinion it's best to choose a new path to take before life deposits you on one you might not be too keen on following.

My - what I call - 'wall of awesomeness'.

Sorry about the mess - too many Spanish notes!

Some PostIts my friends left on my mirror on my birthday. I thought that was the most adorable thing ever!

Life in York is a routine now. It's become my home. I love it here and I don't want to leave, but the wonderful thing about not wanting to leave is that you know you've got something wonderful to come back to one day. And I will be back, and in the meantime there's an incredible adventure waiting for me and now I've actually seen Tarragona, it's all suddenly become a lot more real. It's no longer some far off unreachable place, it's real, and it's about to become my home and my life in just the same way that York has, and right now, I see no reason to be afraid of it. Right now, in this moment, I feel only hope for the future.

Molly x

This is where I'll be living come September. You jealous?

April 19th: And the rest

Like the title says, here's the the rest of the quiz I started last week that was too long to post all in one go.


Have you ever cried over someone?
Yes...

Do you have a grudge against anyone?
No, not right now.

Do people praise you for your looks?
Occasionally... no more than other people get complimented, I assume.

Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?
I've never been in love, so I guess not.

Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?
I'm not really a bad girl. I've skipped the odd lesson or two (or three) and I tried a cigarette outside a nightclub and thought it was disgusting, but apart from that I am as boring as they come.

Do you like getting hurt?
Does anyone?

Does anyone hate you?
I hope not!

Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?
God, I can't remember all the people I've slapped! Haha no, I don't think so.

What hair color do you prefer?
On myself? I think I'll only ever be a brunette, because in addition to actually liking my hair colour, I think it would be quite difficult to dye as it's quite dark. I like ginger hair though, especially with green eyes.

If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?
Ooh, a difficult one. Hmm... I trust people very easily and that has let me down, because people let me down. I'll also be the one to change if the situation needs adapting.


Do you have issues with somebody in your school?
Nope!

Can you live without internet?
God no. Are you mad?

What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?
Come on, people, we've established that I don't have a "special someone"!

Are you good at holding back your tears?
Yes, if I have to.

Are you a crybaby?
No. I rarely cry - only occasionally at TV shows, frequently when I'm really angry (which is the most frustrating thing in the world) and almost never when I'm upset.

Have you ever experienced being hysterical?
Almost, I think.

Do you study hard?
Er, yes. Totally.

Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?
Nothing big, I don't think.

Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?
Well, I've had many if you count being inside under the moonlight - oh, actually, there was one on the smoking terrace of a club, does that count?

Have you ever ridden a boat?
Many, many times!

Did you have an accident last year?
No, last year was awesome! I did my best to make it so and it was.

What kind of person are you?
I can be quite quiet, but only when I have to talk to large groups of people I don't know at once. I'm very friendly and I'm very loyal and I can also be quite loud if I'm excited/drunk/happy/with my closest friends. And especially if I'm all four.

Have you ever thought of killing someone?
No! That is a disturbing question.

Have you ever been jealous?
Yes, I can get quite jealous.

How can you prove your love to someone?
I say it a lot, but I'll also try and do things that let people know I'm thinking of them. I guess one example is that I wrote my mum a song for her birthday to let her know I wasn't leaving just because I was moving out and I think that was really the only way I could have let her know that, because my mum and I don't have the kind of relationship where we talk about things like that very often.

Who is the 6th person in your contacts?
Another person I used to go to school with called Annie.

Do you have any memories you want to erase?
I'm pretty sure everyone does.

Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?
I'm not the most eloquent of people when I speak, so I suppose so.

Do you have trust issues?
No, I don't think so.

Do you think all the pain is worth it?
Depends what kind of pain it is and what causes it.

Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?
Absolutely. I don't believe fate and destiny control your entire life, but I believe that they do control some areas of it, and that in the end we will end up where we're meant to be.

Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?
I don't think soulmates have to be romantic, so yes, I know I have found my soulmate.

How do you look right now?
Pretty ridiculous, I'd imagine, since I've just got out of the bath and I'm sitting here with a towel on my head. And my body, before you start imagining things.

Do you believe that first true love never dies?
I believe that true love exists, but I don't know if I believe that it never dies. I'd like to think that everybody has a "one", but that would be a depressing thought if you somehow lost your "one", so I think you can fall in love with more than one person.

Have you found your true love?
No... but I'm sure he's out there somewhere.

What should you be doing right now?
A grammar assignment on the passive voice. Welcome to my exciting life.

Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?
All the time when I was younger. But I've grown out of that now and now I know I only have to be good enough for myself.

Molly x

April 12th: Another quiz

Oh, bloglings, you know how I love these question things. And these are a little less factual than the last ones - though it is incredibly long, so to avoid boring you all to death I might split it up and post it in two separate halves.

Okay, here goes.

Who was the last person you texted?
That would be Charlotte, discussing a particularly amusing episode of Modern Family.

When is your birthday?
April 23rd: Shakespeare's birth and death day and St. George's day. Always have to get that in there.

Who do you want to be with right now?
Cora, but alas, she's on a date. ;)

What sports do you play?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- oh. You're serious. Awkward.

Who is the first person in your contacts?
Some random person called Alice I went to school with.

What is your favorite song as of the moment?
"Jeg I Live" by Burhan G... I realise most of you probably don't know that song, but go YouTube it. It's my play-on-repeat-while-walking-to-uni song and it makes me happy everytime I hear it.

If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?
You don't know what you're asking right now. If I were stranded on a desert island and I could be with anyone in the world... hmm, David Tennant springs to mind... but I'd probably still choose to be with my friends. How sad. ;)

What do you feel right now?
Happy. I feel happy, as I do a lot at the moment, which is rather fabulous if you ask me.

What chocolate is your favorite?
Oh, woe is me! Such choice! But I do love Lindors.

How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?
How many boyfriends did I have when? Oh, if you're asking how many boyfriends I have had, then... I guess the answer is one. And a half. If you want to know how many real relationships I've had, the answer is more "yeah, right".

Why did you create a Tumblr account?
Yeah, this is another Tumblr quiz. I don't know; Becky and Charlotte both had it and I wanted to be able to stalk them. Sorry guys.


Where do you want to be right now?
I have too many favourite places to answer that one. I've been to too many amazing places.


When was the last time you cried? Why?
Sunday morning, because I was having a bit of a spaz about my parents and moving out and everything.

Are you happy?
Already said I was!

Who do you miss?
I miss my friends a lot now that I've moved out. And my family. And oh God, my cat!

If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?
...Strangely enough... no. I am actually happy with my own life.

What was the best thing you were given?
Well, you know you have a good life when you can't choose something because too many things spring to mind. My parents gave me Wicked tickets for Christmas once... that was pretty awesome. And Becky gave me The Grimmerie, which is the spellbook from Wicked (yeah, I'm a fan. Get over it). And Cora gave me a necklace with the words "mere end mit liv" engraved into it. Adorable.

Who was the last person who called you?
My parents. Almost two weeks ago. Alas, I have no friends.

What is your favorite dish?
I love me a good steak.

Who is your best friend?
Cora.

What is your biggest regret?
Umm...

Have you ever cheated on your partner?
Since that would involve me having a) a partner to cheat on and b) someone interested enough in me to offer me the opportunity to cheat, the answer to that is, predictably, no.

Though finding someone to cheat with probably wouldn't be that hard.

Who do you spend crazy moments with?
I've spent some of the craziest moments of my life with Zoe - remember those times before Octava, on the bed?

Who was the last person you hugged?
My mum.

What kind of music do you listen to?
Looooads of foreign music. But mainly pop, I guess, though I'm not really fussy.

Are you over your past?
This question sort of grates upon my inner prescriptivist, but I won't let her out now. This is no time for grammar geekiness.

I think so. It's taken long enough, but yes.

Who is the last person in your contacts?
Zoe's home number.

What kind of person do you want to date?
I'd like to date someone who could either sing and play either piano or guitar. My ideal guy is dark, kind of Spanish looking, and he should be able to take the initiative but not boss me around... but I have a feeling I'll end up with someone completely different.

Do you have troubles sleeping at night?
Sometimes. Alas.

From whom was the last text message you received?
May I just point out that I did not add the "from whom" in this question?

It was from a guy called Shane.

What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?
I am equally fond of both, but I wear jeans more simply because they're more convenient.

How’s your heart?
Health wise? Probably fine, I'd imagine, though I'd better stop eating so much chocolate if I want to keep it that way. Emotionally all's good too.

Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?
No, but I have kissed two people whose names start with a J. Possibly three people.

Do you like someone as of the moment?
Maybe.

What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend?
"Latest" implies that I have a queue of ex-boyfriends just lining up to hear what I have to say. "Ex-boyfriend" implies that I had one in the first place.

Do you have any phobias?
Honestly read that as "do you have a penis?" then. The answer to that question is no, but I am scared of fire.

Did you try to change for a person?
Yes, but it didn't work.

What’s the nicest thing you've given to someone?
Apparently everything I've given to Cora is "the best present ever". :P

Would you go back to your previous relationship?
Again with the rubbing it in!

Name someone you can’t live without.
Cora.

Describe your dream wedding.
I haven't really given it that much thought, but it will involve an amazing wedding cake, an enormous meringue of a dress and a guy with whom I am very much in love (hopefully the feeling will be mutual). Oh, and all my best friends and family.

How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?
Oh, loads. Piles and piles. There were so many I had to walk on them to get out of my driveway... after I'd moved the stacks of Valentine's cards stopping the door from opening.

Have you ever been kissed?
Um, yeah, pretty sure I have.

How long is your longest relationship?
About a month. Alas, it wasn't real. And the "half" relationship lasted about two months, but that wasn't really real either.

Do you regret your past?
No. Some of it wasn't particularly fun, but I don't think I'd be who I am today without it.

You'll see the rest of the questions soon enough. Have fun guys!

Molly x

April 9th: Spain, rain and a couple of Danes

Apparently it's currently 20 degrees in the place in Spain I'm moving to in September. I, meanwhile, am sitting in an extremely cold room in Devon, which is supposed to be one of the warmest places in England, with hands like icebergs, procrastinating and watching the rain pissing it down outside.

I love my life.

Seriously though. In about two and half weeks' time, I will get to see Tarragona for the first time - I'm just popping over to Spain for the weekend, as you do - and I am, quite frankly, terrified. After my dad first suggested that I go and have a look around before I move there properly, I deliberated about it for three days. But I spent the nights that accompanied those three days lying awake getting nervous about it, which proved to me that I had to do it. If I hadn't, the nerves that I'm already feeling about making this trip would still be there in September, but a thousand times more intense, and I figure that anything I can do to make that transition a little less stressful is probably worth it. I mean, what if I hate it? Unlikely, but what if I do? Or what if... I don't know, just what if? There's really nothing to be nervous about, I know, but I am anyway. Maybe that's just me. But I wouldn't have gone to uni here in England without going and looking around it first, so this is technically a completely normal step.

Ironically, both the day I found out I was going to Spain and the day I found out I could stay for a year (rather than just a semester) were after I had been out with friends the night before and stumbled home at ridiculous times in the early hours of the morning. Both times I did an extremely active happy dance - for which my sleep deprived, alcohol riddled and mysteriously bruised body despised me greatly. Maybe I should go on nights out more often... they're clearly good luck for receiving good news the day after. Shame I'm never really in the mindset to celebrate it.

In other news, my birthday is in exactly two weeks - after Lauren's, which was last week, Zoe's, which is on Saturday, and Becky's, which is on the 19th. It feels strange to think that I only have one year and two weeks left of being a teenager - but then I can't really help feeling old these days, especially when I consider that my little brother is starting college this year and will, next year, be able to start learning to drive, and my cousin, whom I swear was about nine the last time I looked, is now embarking on her GCSEs. And we're at uni! We learned to drive and moved out and went to uni. It seems that the older you get, the faster life goes, and it's unnerving.

I suppose that was one of the reasons I decided to extend my stay in Spain to a year. Judging by how fast this academic year has gone, I would only just have settled in after a semester and then I'd have had to come home again. At least this way I'll have more time to soak up the Mediterranean atmosphere - and pick up some Spanish, which is an ambition of mine.

I'm going back to York the day before my birthday, but via Manchester airport to meet both Cora, who's staying with me for the week (and coming to Spain with me, yaaaay!) and Louise, my Danish friend from uni, whose plane (from the same airport as Cora's) arrives at almost exactly the same time. It mystifies me as to why two different airlines would fly from the same place to the same place at the same time, but there you go. But it's going to be amazing!

Hmm, another boring post. I seem to have misplaced my pretentious writer... oh well, I'm sure I'll locate her again soon enough.

Molly x

March 27th: A place to keep excitement

I am coming to you today from underneath a ridiculous pile of paperwork, the weight of which is currently pushing me down into the ground. If you were to lift said paperwork off me, there I'd be, grinning up at you from a nice Molly-shaped hole in the mud - out of which I'd be unable to climb, of course, due to just how deep the paper had squished me in there.

You may have gathered from that little introduction that I am currently 'doing' some of my paperwork for studying abroad... well, actually, if you had gathered that you'd be wrong, because I'm here writing this blog post instead. And even now I keep going on Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr instead of writing; I'm procrastinating about procrastinating. I'm doomed.

Moving on.

My study abroad companions and I had a meeting last week with our Head of Programme about choosing the modules we can study in Spain... things are moving forward! Each module is worth less than they are here, which means that I have to take more subjects to make up for it and consequently next year will be a lot harder than this year, especially as next year our grades themselves will actually count (as opposed to only needing to pass a module). I'm quite annoyed that that's not the case this year because I've been getting firsts and 2:1s, but alas. At least I'm starting with a bang.

However, as this whole study abroad business becomes more and more real, questions keep arising, as one would expect. Questions like "Would choosing to study both Spanish and Catalan at the same time be a good idea, or would they be too similar?" and "Why the dicknipple does student finance have to be so ridiculously confusing?" and "Oh God what the hell am I doing?"

The last one being due to the fact that this is becoming real very, very quickly. After two years of "Yeah, I'd love to study abroad one day" and choosing York St John (along with its fabulous course, decent entry requirements and incredibly beautiful location) for its study abroad opportunities; after the "should I, shouldn't I?" debates with myself over sending the application in; after writing and sending the application, all the "I really, really, really hope I get in" and the long-awaited "Congratulations! We can offer you a place" email; after the extra-curricular Spanish lessons; after deciding and applying to extend my stay to a year instead of a semester... after all that, finally, this is happening. And it's far scarier than last year's application to university - but hey, you get out what you put in, right? I was already far too emotionally invested in the idea of going abroad not to do it - it has been something I've wanted to do for so long, and so even when I doubted it, I was never going to give up on the idea. As far as I'm concerned, this was always going to happen.

And I write this because I am under no illusions that this is going to be easy. It's going to be one of the most incredible experiences of my life, but it will be hard. I know that. I'm ready for that. But I know, because I've done it since moving here, that I will come back to this blog in the moments when it's hard and read what I wrote about how excited I was to be coming here, to be studying linguistics, to finally be standing on my own two feet - to a certain extent, at least. This is the reason I created this blog - so that I could remember how these years of my life felt and so that I could document all the experiences, expected and unexpected, that have and will come my way.

That's why I have to keep writing these boring little posts - because sometime in the future I will need them to remind me why I moved to Spain and how sure I was that it was going to be amazing. I hope I'll never need to recapture that excitement, but if I do, I need it here, so I know where to find it. This is the place I store my feelings; it is a place to keep excitement.

And to finish off, I shall leave you in the capable hands of this 'ere grammar joke:

What do you call Santa's children?

Dependent Clauses.

Such fun!

Molly x