Spell me a word. Any word. In what order do you press the keys? Not in the same order as me, in many cases. How do you spell "predominant"? Not quite the same as you do. But does that make it wrong or does that mean it's changing? This is a paradox to be considered and pondered over by all lovers of language and grammar - we are fascinated by language change but we're horrified by non-standard spellings which could indicate the beginning of the aforementioned mutation.
What's a girl to do?
Having said that, the inevitable adaptation in language that technology has brought never fails to amaze me. Not necessarily the 'variations' (meaning ghastly) in spelling that the lack of online editing allows into the world, but, more literally, the way we can just press a button and create a letter; press two and create a word; press a selection and create a poem, a story, a song... something which has meaning to somebody, somewhere. How can a button make a letter appear on a screen? How can I make words without speaking or writing?
I express words through my fingers. I create sound through something that isn't my mouth. You assimilate words through something that isn't your ears; you can hear me through your eyes. It unifies us, this - we are one through the language which has words but no sound. This world of technology has created us - a plastic connection.
And with that to consider, I'll leave you with a random pointless 'story' my fingers wrote without consulting my brain. If you get it, leave a comment - I'll be interested to know whether or not you see where I was going with it.
Molly x
Mindless.
Click. Click. Click.
Heads down. Eyes blank. Fingers move. Keep busy, don't look up, don't make eye contact. Exist in solitude, because after all, it's easier like that, isn't it?
Regress. Begin. Open your eyes - no, open them. Really look at the world. Don't see it. Look at it. Notice it. Delight in it. How old were you when it happened? When did you become disillusioned with the world?
Heads down. Eyes blank. Fingers move. She doesn't understand. Touch the keys, type the words. Ignore everything except the feel of the plastic beneath your fingers. She complains. Look at the clock. What time is it? Still two more hours. Oh God, two more hours. Then I can go home. She'll ask me about my day. I don't want to talk about it.
Boss is on his way over. Don't talk to me, don't talk to m-- oh hi, yes, I'm doing it n- yes, it'll be done- you want it for whe-? Another file? More work? She won't be happy. Of course I can do it- yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Three bags full, sir. I am a slave to you.
Close the program. Get your coat. Switch off the light. In the lift. In the car. Key in the door. How was your day? Leave me alone. Are you in a bad mood? Another file? Why can't they-- zone out. Ignore her. Mindless.
Am I happy?
Friday, 22 October 2010
Saturday, 9 October 2010
October 9th: The disappearance of rough edges.
If ever you happen to be taking a stroll alongside a river, or in a forest, or even just on a street, pause for a moment. Bend down and scrutinise the ground upon which you're placing your feet; think for a while about all the geological substance which supports us, is always there beneath us, waiting to catch us, whenever we feel the need.
Aim for the moon, the well known saying goes, for even if you fail you will land among the stars. Now, not only is that not exactly scientifically true, the moon being closer than the stars, but it is also somewhat disrespectful to the Earth. How many people are there in the world whose ambition is to 'reach for the stars', or to 'fly high', and how many people long to be 'over the moon' or 'on cloud nine'? And how many people, I wonder, wish to stay grounded?
We're always talking about the sky, always telling ourselves there is always more to discover, more to learn - and so there is. The sky is, as they say, the limit. But why stop there? And what's beyond the sky? Another planet? More ground? Why do we appreciate different ground but dismiss our own? The grass is always greener on the other side.
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? In the wise words of Joni Mitchell, yes. It does. Everybody is so blinded by what they don't have that they don't realize what they do and even when they stop and think about it, they're so worried about everything that they can't see clearly. Sometimes it takes the arrival of somebody into your world to wipe the windscreen of life so that you're not seeing through dirt clouded eyes anymore. And then once they've arrived, it's so easy to become used to their presence, to depend upon them to support you - they become the ground. They hold you up and you use them as a stepping stone to reach where you really want to be in life. Oh, you don't use them, of course you don't, but maybe you start to take them for granted and you forget how lucky you are to know them in the first place.
Don't. Just don't. Stop right now and think of everyone you're lucky to know and everything you're lucky to have. Give yourself five reasons you're happy to be who you are, and if you're not happy being who you are, who are you and who do you want to be? Do you truly know the people around you? Do you know what you want from life? Do you truly know yourself? Think about it. Dig out your windscreen wash and scrape away the dirt stopping you from seeing your world your way. It's your world, so be metaphorically (and literally) environmentally friendly. Walk a path and give yourself directions. It doesn't matter if you get lost, because every turn will lead you to where you're destined to be.
The ground we walk on will always support us. The people who love us will always catch us. Pebbles on a beach all look the same, their rough edges worn away by the sea; don't let the world wear away your rough edges. Keep them, because they're what make you unique.
Molly x
Aim for the moon, the well known saying goes, for even if you fail you will land among the stars. Now, not only is that not exactly scientifically true, the moon being closer than the stars, but it is also somewhat disrespectful to the Earth. How many people are there in the world whose ambition is to 'reach for the stars', or to 'fly high', and how many people long to be 'over the moon' or 'on cloud nine'? And how many people, I wonder, wish to stay grounded?
We're always talking about the sky, always telling ourselves there is always more to discover, more to learn - and so there is. The sky is, as they say, the limit. But why stop there? And what's beyond the sky? Another planet? More ground? Why do we appreciate different ground but dismiss our own? The grass is always greener on the other side.
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? In the wise words of Joni Mitchell, yes. It does. Everybody is so blinded by what they don't have that they don't realize what they do and even when they stop and think about it, they're so worried about everything that they can't see clearly. Sometimes it takes the arrival of somebody into your world to wipe the windscreen of life so that you're not seeing through dirt clouded eyes anymore. And then once they've arrived, it's so easy to become used to their presence, to depend upon them to support you - they become the ground. They hold you up and you use them as a stepping stone to reach where you really want to be in life. Oh, you don't use them, of course you don't, but maybe you start to take them for granted and you forget how lucky you are to know them in the first place.
Don't. Just don't. Stop right now and think of everyone you're lucky to know and everything you're lucky to have. Give yourself five reasons you're happy to be who you are, and if you're not happy being who you are, who are you and who do you want to be? Do you truly know the people around you? Do you know what you want from life? Do you truly know yourself? Think about it. Dig out your windscreen wash and scrape away the dirt stopping you from seeing your world your way. It's your world, so be metaphorically (and literally) environmentally friendly. Walk a path and give yourself directions. It doesn't matter if you get lost, because every turn will lead you to where you're destined to be.
The ground we walk on will always support us. The people who love us will always catch us. Pebbles on a beach all look the same, their rough edges worn away by the sea; don't let the world wear away your rough edges. Keep them, because they're what make you unique.
Molly x
Sunday, 12 September 2010
September 12th: Turn up the heat, the pressure's dropping...
Just when you think the pressure's off, and you get used to a bit of relaxation, all of a sudden it's time to crank up those brains again and find your seat on this year's seating plan (not that you have those when you get to year 13 or, as it's more commonly known, the second year of college).
The second year of college. Year thirteen. I am on the brink of becoming a second year. Whenever I meet a young child, if I'm on holiday or visiting friends with younger siblings, and they ask me what year I'm in, I do actually have to think about it before I reply. Once I do, I can see exactly what they're thinking because the expression on my face when I was their age mirrored theirs exactly: wow, you're old.
And I am. I am old. Not in the scheme of things, but ignoring the bigger picture, I am almost eighteen and I'm just wondering how exactly that happened. When I look back upon my childhood, I can remember time moving painfully, frustratingly slowly until I was about fifteen - my hatred for that compulsory place of torture mutinously described as school saw to that - and then all of a sudden, it was like somebody had clicked their fingers and put my life on fast forward times three.
Why is it that the older you get, the faster life goes? Day after day after long, repetitive day adds up to time flicking past in the blink of an eye, until eventually you feel like you're in a washing machine on spin dry, banging on the glass and going "let me out!". Whatever happened to being a kid? Whatever happened to irresponsibility? Actually, I'm secretly wondering when I'm going to have that rebellion my parents seem sure I'll have; first I was too young for things, and now I'm too old. I get the "you want to be treated like an adult, you have to act like one" speech quite a lot - then I get the "not under my roof, other people your age have to pay rent" speech too. The inner adult and the inner child in me are constantly having arguments; can't keep their fists under control. I don't know what I'm going to do with them. But seriously, it's like I've spent my whole life so far waiting - to leave primary school, to be a teenager, to get my ears pierced, to get a phone (and I thought they were important things). And then later on: waiting for exams, waiting to be pretty, waiting for a boyfriend (still waiting), waiting for results, waiting to be confident enough to sing in public, waiting to be... myself. And I know that we've been here before, all this "I'm not a sheep, blah blah, confidence, blah blah..." but it's true. And now comes A Levels, and we work hard for those so we can go to university and put ourselves under even more pressure, and I'm just wondering what the point is.
I always thought I'd go to uni, even when I wasn't old enough to have the foggiest idea what to study - thought it was automatic. It was what people did, so why not me too? I've never questioned my future, never thought of changing it, making it my future. Obviously I've chosen the subjects I want to study, but I never thought of doing anything besides going to college, doing A Levels, going to uni... ten years from now I see myself with a job, a relationship, maybe even married. When I was younger, I had it all planned out: by thirteen I'd be popular. Didn't happen. By sixteen I'd have a boyfriend... didn't happen. By twenty-five I'll be either very nearly engaged, engaged or married... and to be honest I doubt that will happen either. I always wanted a boyfriend... the boyfriend, you know? I thought it was weird that I'd got to seventeen without ever having a proper relationship. But now I'm starting to think I'm something of a commitment phobe, which is something I never thought I'd be. Even though I've got friends who are less experienced than myself (and I have had very little boy contact), they've all been romantically interested in somebody for more than a few months... and I never have. Whenever I meet someone and find a mutual attraction, the spark wears off within a few weeks... most recently, a few hours - an impressive record by anyone's standards. When the attraction isn't mutual, that tends to fade away pretty quickly as well - except for this last crush of mine, which has been ongoing since January, though admittedly not as strongly over the summer. We'll see what happens when I get back to college.
Of late it has occurred to me that things don't happen just because they happen to everyone else. I had such naive ideas about the world and it never once crossed my mind that it wouldn't all come to pass. But now, sitting here as a seventeen year old who is completely clueless about... well, pretty much anything except how to piss people off by correcting their grammar, I've realised that I'm basically an adult now and when it comes to my future, nobody can force me into anything. I don't have to leave home next year. I could take a gap year. Get a job. Go travelling (as cliched as that is). Learn piano. I could do anything. The world, as they say, is my crayfish. Or lobster. Or even oyster. Or any other type of hard-exterior'ed creature which takes residence in the sea. There's no time limit on education - I could go to uni when I'm twenty-five... or even eighty-five. (Not that I'd leave it that late; I'm just backing up my point with a little bit of over exaggeration. You should try it sometime. It's great for blowing off stress. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEE!... And all that jazz).
I started this blog post intending to complain about finding myself on the verge of becoming an adult (to empathize with me, imagine fast forwarding through a film you've never seen to about half way - then, when you've got no idea what's going on, imagine you're the main character, living the story but with no background knowledge as to how you got to where you are. And there we go with that exaggeration again. But it's almost like that.) but I come away believing I've actually made some headway towards deciding my future. That's sometimes what happens when I write: I begin believing I know my characters, and then halfway through one of them does something that takes me completely by surprise. That's what's happening to me, only it's my own story I'm writing now. It feels good to be in charge of myself - at least for now, right here in this moment. By tomorrow I'll be panicking about my first day back and wishing I could be five years old again. (Highly overrated, being five. You spend all your time wishing you were older... and then when you get there you spend all your time wishing you weren't.)
They say youth is wasted on the young. They say "I wish I'd known then what I know now" - but nobody ever tells 'the young' what they wish they'd known. Maybe if we tried sharing every once in a while, we'd be able to create a generation of adults with a great many less regrets.
Molly x
The second year of college. Year thirteen. I am on the brink of becoming a second year. Whenever I meet a young child, if I'm on holiday or visiting friends with younger siblings, and they ask me what year I'm in, I do actually have to think about it before I reply. Once I do, I can see exactly what they're thinking because the expression on my face when I was their age mirrored theirs exactly: wow, you're old.
And I am. I am old. Not in the scheme of things, but ignoring the bigger picture, I am almost eighteen and I'm just wondering how exactly that happened. When I look back upon my childhood, I can remember time moving painfully, frustratingly slowly until I was about fifteen - my hatred for that compulsory place of torture mutinously described as school saw to that - and then all of a sudden, it was like somebody had clicked their fingers and put my life on fast forward times three.
Why is it that the older you get, the faster life goes? Day after day after long, repetitive day adds up to time flicking past in the blink of an eye, until eventually you feel like you're in a washing machine on spin dry, banging on the glass and going "let me out!". Whatever happened to being a kid? Whatever happened to irresponsibility? Actually, I'm secretly wondering when I'm going to have that rebellion my parents seem sure I'll have; first I was too young for things, and now I'm too old. I get the "you want to be treated like an adult, you have to act like one" speech quite a lot - then I get the "not under my roof, other people your age have to pay rent" speech too. The inner adult and the inner child in me are constantly having arguments; can't keep their fists under control. I don't know what I'm going to do with them. But seriously, it's like I've spent my whole life so far waiting - to leave primary school, to be a teenager, to get my ears pierced, to get a phone (and I thought they were important things). And then later on: waiting for exams, waiting to be pretty, waiting for a boyfriend (still waiting), waiting for results, waiting to be confident enough to sing in public, waiting to be... myself. And I know that we've been here before, all this "I'm not a sheep, blah blah, confidence, blah blah..." but it's true. And now comes A Levels, and we work hard for those so we can go to university and put ourselves under even more pressure, and I'm just wondering what the point is.
I always thought I'd go to uni, even when I wasn't old enough to have the foggiest idea what to study - thought it was automatic. It was what people did, so why not me too? I've never questioned my future, never thought of changing it, making it my future. Obviously I've chosen the subjects I want to study, but I never thought of doing anything besides going to college, doing A Levels, going to uni... ten years from now I see myself with a job, a relationship, maybe even married. When I was younger, I had it all planned out: by thirteen I'd be popular. Didn't happen. By sixteen I'd have a boyfriend... didn't happen. By twenty-five I'll be either very nearly engaged, engaged or married... and to be honest I doubt that will happen either. I always wanted a boyfriend... the boyfriend, you know? I thought it was weird that I'd got to seventeen without ever having a proper relationship. But now I'm starting to think I'm something of a commitment phobe, which is something I never thought I'd be. Even though I've got friends who are less experienced than myself (and I have had very little boy contact), they've all been romantically interested in somebody for more than a few months... and I never have. Whenever I meet someone and find a mutual attraction, the spark wears off within a few weeks... most recently, a few hours - an impressive record by anyone's standards. When the attraction isn't mutual, that tends to fade away pretty quickly as well - except for this last crush of mine, which has been ongoing since January, though admittedly not as strongly over the summer. We'll see what happens when I get back to college.
Of late it has occurred to me that things don't happen just because they happen to everyone else. I had such naive ideas about the world and it never once crossed my mind that it wouldn't all come to pass. But now, sitting here as a seventeen year old who is completely clueless about... well, pretty much anything except how to piss people off by correcting their grammar, I've realised that I'm basically an adult now and when it comes to my future, nobody can force me into anything. I don't have to leave home next year. I could take a gap year. Get a job. Go travelling (as cliched as that is). Learn piano. I could do anything. The world, as they say, is my crayfish. Or lobster. Or even oyster. Or any other type of hard-exterior'ed creature which takes residence in the sea. There's no time limit on education - I could go to uni when I'm twenty-five... or even eighty-five. (Not that I'd leave it that late; I'm just backing up my point with a little bit of over exaggeration. You should try it sometime. It's great for blowing off stress. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEE!... And all that jazz).
I started this blog post intending to complain about finding myself on the verge of becoming an adult (to empathize with me, imagine fast forwarding through a film you've never seen to about half way - then, when you've got no idea what's going on, imagine you're the main character, living the story but with no background knowledge as to how you got to where you are. And there we go with that exaggeration again. But it's almost like that.) but I come away believing I've actually made some headway towards deciding my future. That's sometimes what happens when I write: I begin believing I know my characters, and then halfway through one of them does something that takes me completely by surprise. That's what's happening to me, only it's my own story I'm writing now. It feels good to be in charge of myself - at least for now, right here in this moment. By tomorrow I'll be panicking about my first day back and wishing I could be five years old again. (Highly overrated, being five. You spend all your time wishing you were older... and then when you get there you spend all your time wishing you weren't.)
They say youth is wasted on the young. They say "I wish I'd known then what I know now" - but nobody ever tells 'the young' what they wish they'd known. Maybe if we tried sharing every once in a while, we'd be able to create a generation of adults with a great many less regrets.
Molly x
Friday, 3 September 2010
September 3rd: Time to face the music, cut the crap and bite the bullet (and other well known phrases).
There are times in our lives when we know everything.
Or rather, we think we do. Or maybe we actually do. Maybe we only know what we want to do right now, right this second, and we have no idea what lies beyond then, or maybe we have our whole lives mapped out. Maybe we know exactly what we want from the future, but we have no idea how to reach out and grab it. And maybe we don't have a clue. Maybe we're having opportunities and ideas thrust upon us left, right, and centre, and it's confusing the hell out of us. Maybe we're finding passions and talents we never even knew we had and we have no idea what to do about them.
When you find something and you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it's what you want to spend your life doing, you want to do it now. You don't want any other subjects or distractions getting in the way. I was lucky enough to be one of those people who found that elusive instantaneous 'click', that moment where something sparks inside your brain and you sit up straight, thinking, knowing 'this is it'. But I'm not one of those people who finds exams particularly easy, so getting to a point where I can do only English Language (i.e. at university) is going to be hard. It's very irritating really, knowing you could excel at something if only you didn't have to worry about other things as well.
What really gets on my nerves is when people tell me how lucky I am. Yes, I am lucky. I know that. I have had opportunities this summer alone that some people don't get in a lifetime. I've got (to quote my mother) 'a lovely family, a nice secure home in a lovely environment, you're gorgeous, and you're healthy (apparently)'. And yes, of course I know that. Of course I know I could be much worse off. I know that there are people all over the world who are less fortunate than me. But seriously, I'm still entitled to a bad mood every once in a while! 'What exactly have you got to worry about?' she says. 'Your life is perfect.' And oh, mother, if only you knew exactly how unperfect my life is. And she gives me a list of all the things she has to do - and I appreciate how busy she is, of course I do, and I'm sorry I don't always have time to tidy my room but frankly I rate passing my exams more highly. And gah, when she says 'I know you're not doing work up there' - well of course I am! How could I pass if I didn't? Obviously I'm not doing work all the time, but I'm not a robot. It's all right for her, she already knows where her life is going and she's got everything she needs all planned out. She's my mum. I mean, nuff said, right? Though sometimes I wonder about who she used to be and what she really wanted from life...
Sometimes I want to write, but I don't know what. The inspiration is there, within me, but I can't find the right words to express it - it's the most frustrating feeling in the world. I feel that way now; that's why I'm here. The whole reason of this blog's existence is for moments like this, so that I don't have to bore any of my friends with my pretentious sentimentality.
Primary school. Secondary school. College. Education. Why does it go so fast? Why is it that people consider the perspective of children and young adults invalid simply because they're young? We have to go through so many experiences, so many learning curves, throughout the years of our schooling that we grow up far more quickly than perhaps we should... because if we don't, we're ridiculed for it. Funny, isn't it, that sheep are the considered the most brainless creatures in existence, and yet they are the metaphor we use to describe the majority of the human race. Funny and yet so understandable. But I don't want to be a sheep. I can't baaa. And trust me, I've tried. To baa, I mean, as well as to fit in. But I just don't. I know I've said all this before but I can't understand why it took me seventeen years to realize that it's okay to be different - good, in fact.
Yes, I don't dress like the 'popular' people. I don't go out every weekend. I'm friends with my freaking teachers, for God's sake, and that's pretty weird. But I like it. I like... myself. Don't get me wrong: I'm highly pissed off, frustrated and angered by myself, but occasionally I catch a glimpse of this girl in the mirror and I think, who's she? She's much stronger and more capable than I am, more talented, better looking even. When did I become her?
And yes, I sound up myself. So I'll mention the other days, when the mirror shows me a fat, ugly girl who can't do anything, never finishes anything, fails every goal she or anybody else has ever set her. Especially those private goals that don't seem to matter to other people, but are the centre of her own little universe. Why are compliments forgotten and insults remembered? Why does it take so long to build confidence and so little to destroy it?
And on that note I run out of things to say. I'll be back at some point in the future to tease some more words into optimistically interesting sentences.
Molly x
Or rather, we think we do. Or maybe we actually do. Maybe we only know what we want to do right now, right this second, and we have no idea what lies beyond then, or maybe we have our whole lives mapped out. Maybe we know exactly what we want from the future, but we have no idea how to reach out and grab it. And maybe we don't have a clue. Maybe we're having opportunities and ideas thrust upon us left, right, and centre, and it's confusing the hell out of us. Maybe we're finding passions and talents we never even knew we had and we have no idea what to do about them.
When you find something and you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it's what you want to spend your life doing, you want to do it now. You don't want any other subjects or distractions getting in the way. I was lucky enough to be one of those people who found that elusive instantaneous 'click', that moment where something sparks inside your brain and you sit up straight, thinking, knowing 'this is it'. But I'm not one of those people who finds exams particularly easy, so getting to a point where I can do only English Language (i.e. at university) is going to be hard. It's very irritating really, knowing you could excel at something if only you didn't have to worry about other things as well.
What really gets on my nerves is when people tell me how lucky I am. Yes, I am lucky. I know that. I have had opportunities this summer alone that some people don't get in a lifetime. I've got (to quote my mother) 'a lovely family, a nice secure home in a lovely environment, you're gorgeous, and you're healthy (apparently)'. And yes, of course I know that. Of course I know I could be much worse off. I know that there are people all over the world who are less fortunate than me. But seriously, I'm still entitled to a bad mood every once in a while! 'What exactly have you got to worry about?' she says. 'Your life is perfect.' And oh, mother, if only you knew exactly how unperfect my life is. And she gives me a list of all the things she has to do - and I appreciate how busy she is, of course I do, and I'm sorry I don't always have time to tidy my room but frankly I rate passing my exams more highly. And gah, when she says 'I know you're not doing work up there' - well of course I am! How could I pass if I didn't? Obviously I'm not doing work all the time, but I'm not a robot. It's all right for her, she already knows where her life is going and she's got everything she needs all planned out. She's my mum. I mean, nuff said, right? Though sometimes I wonder about who she used to be and what she really wanted from life...
Sometimes I want to write, but I don't know what. The inspiration is there, within me, but I can't find the right words to express it - it's the most frustrating feeling in the world. I feel that way now; that's why I'm here. The whole reason of this blog's existence is for moments like this, so that I don't have to bore any of my friends with my pretentious sentimentality.
Primary school. Secondary school. College. Education. Why does it go so fast? Why is it that people consider the perspective of children and young adults invalid simply because they're young? We have to go through so many experiences, so many learning curves, throughout the years of our schooling that we grow up far more quickly than perhaps we should... because if we don't, we're ridiculed for it. Funny, isn't it, that sheep are the considered the most brainless creatures in existence, and yet they are the metaphor we use to describe the majority of the human race. Funny and yet so understandable. But I don't want to be a sheep. I can't baaa. And trust me, I've tried. To baa, I mean, as well as to fit in. But I just don't. I know I've said all this before but I can't understand why it took me seventeen years to realize that it's okay to be different - good, in fact.
Yes, I don't dress like the 'popular' people. I don't go out every weekend. I'm friends with my freaking teachers, for God's sake, and that's pretty weird. But I like it. I like... myself. Don't get me wrong: I'm highly pissed off, frustrated and angered by myself, but occasionally I catch a glimpse of this girl in the mirror and I think, who's she? She's much stronger and more capable than I am, more talented, better looking even. When did I become her?
And yes, I sound up myself. So I'll mention the other days, when the mirror shows me a fat, ugly girl who can't do anything, never finishes anything, fails every goal she or anybody else has ever set her. Especially those private goals that don't seem to matter to other people, but are the centre of her own little universe. Why are compliments forgotten and insults remembered? Why does it take so long to build confidence and so little to destroy it?
And on that note I run out of things to say. I'll be back at some point in the future to tease some more words into optimistically interesting sentences.
Molly x
Monday, 30 August 2010
August 30th: The trouble with happiness...
Last week was, I can honestly, the best of my life. I spent it a thousand miles away from here, with someone who means the world to me and who isn't present face to face in my life half as much as I want her to be... but we should be used to living that way by now, having never really known otherwise. And yes, maybe Cora is a long way away geographically and six years older than me, but why does nobody understand that that doesn't matter? Friendship isn't something we can choose to acquire and build, no matter how hard we try; it's not something that changes throughout the ups and downs of life; it's not something that fades, breaks, dies... not real friendship. Real friends would do anything for each other. Real friendship is made stronger where weaker bonds snap.
People may come into our lives, stepping in and out through that door like the hinges are far too well oiled, but that doesn't make them matter. Sometimes we're friends with people because they're there, because they're the same age, in the same classes, because our parents are friends... when you find a friend like I found Cora, when coincidence after coincidence leads you to one another, it can only be destiny for you to meet. And yes, that sounds like a load of utter bollocks, but I know we've both always had an interest in each other's respective country, and certainly speaking for myself, Denmark seems to have popped up quite frequently throughout my life even before I met Cora. Even language wise; Cora's freakishly talented at English and I've fallen in love with Danish, even though it's not the prettiest or easiest of languages. It definitely has a certain charm. Anyway, with that and then meeting Cora, and the ease and speed with which our friendship began and formed, it's like she and I were always meant to meet... which is pretty damn awesome.
I suppose there are benefits to building a friendship this way; some friendships I have would peter out if I were no longer seeing that friend every day and if we only spoke on the Internet, but not this one. Having formed it this way and relying on a connection to the web in order to maintain it is undoubtedly a pain in the arse, but it means that that will never be a problem for us. Although I daresay no matter what our circumstances, we'd still have met, because when it's going to happen it will happen. And meeting her was definitely meant to happen. I just hope that neither of us are ever too busy to talk or that Cora never grows out of me, because without her my life would never be complete ever again. There would always be a hole where she should be because she knows me and understands me completely; there's nobody else to whom I can tell everything and without her I wouldn't be the person I am today.
Eventually you learn that sometimes it hurts when people drift out of your life, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes you want it, and some people just never leave. Within five minutes of meeting Cora I knew she would be one of the latter. Some people you just can't have life without.
I've never been as happy as I am when I'm with her, but never as depressed as when I have to leave. I guess the trouble with happiness is that what goes up must come down - life can't keep us floating on air forever and that sucks. But I suppose I'm lucky, because a lot of people will never know friendship like this, and I can't imagine my life without it. I'm so lucky to know you, Cora, and thank you for being you.
Molly x
People may come into our lives, stepping in and out through that door like the hinges are far too well oiled, but that doesn't make them matter. Sometimes we're friends with people because they're there, because they're the same age, in the same classes, because our parents are friends... when you find a friend like I found Cora, when coincidence after coincidence leads you to one another, it can only be destiny for you to meet. And yes, that sounds like a load of utter bollocks, but I know we've both always had an interest in each other's respective country, and certainly speaking for myself, Denmark seems to have popped up quite frequently throughout my life even before I met Cora. Even language wise; Cora's freakishly talented at English and I've fallen in love with Danish, even though it's not the prettiest or easiest of languages. It definitely has a certain charm. Anyway, with that and then meeting Cora, and the ease and speed with which our friendship began and formed, it's like she and I were always meant to meet... which is pretty damn awesome.
I suppose there are benefits to building a friendship this way; some friendships I have would peter out if I were no longer seeing that friend every day and if we only spoke on the Internet, but not this one. Having formed it this way and relying on a connection to the web in order to maintain it is undoubtedly a pain in the arse, but it means that that will never be a problem for us. Although I daresay no matter what our circumstances, we'd still have met, because when it's going to happen it will happen. And meeting her was definitely meant to happen. I just hope that neither of us are ever too busy to talk or that Cora never grows out of me, because without her my life would never be complete ever again. There would always be a hole where she should be because she knows me and understands me completely; there's nobody else to whom I can tell everything and without her I wouldn't be the person I am today.
Eventually you learn that sometimes it hurts when people drift out of your life, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes you want it, and some people just never leave. Within five minutes of meeting Cora I knew she would be one of the latter. Some people you just can't have life without.
I've never been as happy as I am when I'm with her, but never as depressed as when I have to leave. I guess the trouble with happiness is that what goes up must come down - life can't keep us floating on air forever and that sucks. But I suppose I'm lucky, because a lot of people will never know friendship like this, and I can't imagine my life without it. I'm so lucky to know you, Cora, and thank you for being you.
Molly x
Friday, 23 July 2010
July 23rd: Watch out, the Grammar Police are about.
Okay. I'm sorry. I'm writing again the day after my last post and I'm not quite sure what is happening to me; such newfound dedication placed upon me overnight (literally). But this post will, just to warn you, bore you to death - grammar Nazis, read on. Everyone else, back away slowly, attempting to cover your eyes and ears with your mere two hands, whilst humming loudly to block out the despicable sounds of grammar gunfire. Run for your lives!
Grammar is important. I wonder if all those people who claim to 'love' England and our culture, who speak disdainfully of immigrants (legal or otherwise) - you know the sort; the irritating ones who act like they know everything - I wonder if they can use our language properly. I wonder if they can punctuate correctly and, if they can't and have no intention of learning to do so, I wonder if they have ever considered that it is not just foreign people destroying England's elusive culture.
I'm pretty sure that England is one of the most multicultural countries in the world - though of course I'm not positive - and I'm not opposed to foreigners living here. Actually I believe that it opens our minds to other people's ways of life and therefore encourages empathy, which is never a bad thing. However, I do think that if people are going to live here in the UK, they should learn English and they shouldn't try to push their own cultures onto us. I mean, if I moved to another country, I would respect that it's going to be different to what I'm used to and therefore try to learn to share that way of life. I'd want to. It's just simple respect.
Anyway, this post isn't about my views on this subject. It's about grammar and the English language - language in general, actually, as I'm sure it's the same in other areas around the world. When I've learned enough languages to know for sure, I'll drop you a line.
I'm too young to frequently occupy pubs - shame really, as they can provide such good eavesdropping material - but if you're ever in London at night, walking past the window of an establishment in which alcohol flows freely, you may hear, between the outbursts of raucous laughter, the odd voice mouthing off about 'asylum seekers' this and 'bloody Polish' that. The thing is, many of these anonymous voices aren't exactly skilled in the complex ways of spoken English themselves; maybe it's a dialect thing, or maybe it's just an education thing. Either way, the English are also destroying their own culture - by causing the death of their own language.
You walk through the street and you see signs in shop windows advertising DVD's, CD's, and even, most horrifyingly, BOOK's. Sometimes people leave the S uppercase, implying that that's an initial too: DVD'S.
Then, when you've passed the entertainment shop, you're invited to come in for cake's and maybe a cup of coffea or hot choclate. Doesn't it just make you want to scream or perhaps whip out your red pen and start scribbling?
Even when you Google 'grammar mistakes', you're presented with a wide array of suggestions with similar titles to 'grammar mistakes that make you look stupid' - an example itself of its title. That should be 'which', not 'that', you knob.
An infuriating popular misconception is that teenagers are bad at spelling. Spelling and grammar are not something that, once you reach twenty, you suddenly find yourself with an aptitude for. How old am I? I'm seventeen. I will never send an email or a text, never post a Facebook status, never write anything without full standard grammar and correct spelling. For as long as I can remember, I've had a passion and a love for grammar - call me a nerd if you want to. It doesn't matter to me. Why should I feel embarrassed because I'm good at writing properly? Why should I be ashamed when I self consciously point out a mistake in a friend's work? They should appreciate that all I'm trying to do is raise the standard of English in their writing; not only will that make them look more intelligent, it will also mean that they don't lose marks for having mistakes in their homework. Being able to spell and punctuate correctly is a talent, and in the words of Wicked's Madame Morrible, never apologize for talent.
Text abbreviations have got rarer in younger generations now. They were widely used throughout the early years of mobile phones, when every character would cost more money, but that isn't the case anymore and so people are beginning to write more fully. However, many adults with older phones still have to put up with this and still abbreviate, making the idea of teenagers abbreviating more absolute bollocks. My father shortens words much more than I do when texting (not hard, since I don't do it at all) and I'm sure my mum would too, if she were actually able to write a text. Bless her. Actually, the technique of abbreviating words has been around since the Victorian era... I wonder if Vicky sat on her throne, scratching out 'Im nt amused' with her ink and feather. But, thinking about it, abbreviations are what occurs when one removes letters from a word, are they not? Not just any old letters, but vowels. And if abbreviations are making people 'stupid', 'illiterate', and mean that 'people don't know how to spell', then tell me: how do people know which letters to remove in the first place?
On that note, why is bad grammar acceptable in songs? It's like people just gloss over it, forget it, don't even notice it. What's happening to songwriters which means they're incapable of putting a full sentence in a song, minus an 'ain't' or a 'baby' to fill a space? Do they not realize that words are just about the most powerful weapon one could ever use? A well thought out cluster of words can pack more of a punch than any fist, no matter how toned up the arm it belongs to, and music is supposed to be able to inspire, awaken, destroy. No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. But really - how are we supposed to be inspired by 'music' when all it talks about is how much the singer wants sex, or how brokenhearted Justin Bieber is? For me, bad grammar makes a song unable to be taken seriously, and it's really not hard to compose a sentence which actually means something. If I can't fit a sentence in a song I'm writing, I rephrase it. You don't have to resort to non standard grammar to make it work, because let me tell you - it doesn't.
For the record, 'lose' has one O. 'Loose' has two. 'Lose' and 'loose' are NOT the same word. Also, what is with people's inability to spell 'all right'? 'All right' is TWO words. It is not spelled 'alright'. Same, but opposite, with 'already'. 'Already' is one word; not spelled 'all ready'. I can see how they can be confused, but they are different words with different meanings. Getting words confused can have drastic consequences - I remember when, in year ten, my English teacher attempted to demonstrate this by showing us two real life examples from exam papers:
Instead of writing 'he heard the sound of heavy breathing above him', the student got 'breathing' muddled with 'breeding', resulting in this sentence:
'He heard the sound of heavy breeding above him.'
Another student managed to mix up 'matting' with 'mating' whilst writing 'there was rough matting on the floor', and he ended up with:
'There was rough mating on the floor.'
So you see my point? Learn to spell, guys. Grab a dictionary, for the good of the human race.
Molly x
Grammar is important. I wonder if all those people who claim to 'love' England and our culture, who speak disdainfully of immigrants (legal or otherwise) - you know the sort; the irritating ones who act like they know everything - I wonder if they can use our language properly. I wonder if they can punctuate correctly and, if they can't and have no intention of learning to do so, I wonder if they have ever considered that it is not just foreign people destroying England's elusive culture.
I'm pretty sure that England is one of the most multicultural countries in the world - though of course I'm not positive - and I'm not opposed to foreigners living here. Actually I believe that it opens our minds to other people's ways of life and therefore encourages empathy, which is never a bad thing. However, I do think that if people are going to live here in the UK, they should learn English and they shouldn't try to push their own cultures onto us. I mean, if I moved to another country, I would respect that it's going to be different to what I'm used to and therefore try to learn to share that way of life. I'd want to. It's just simple respect.
Anyway, this post isn't about my views on this subject. It's about grammar and the English language - language in general, actually, as I'm sure it's the same in other areas around the world. When I've learned enough languages to know for sure, I'll drop you a line.
I'm too young to frequently occupy pubs - shame really, as they can provide such good eavesdropping material - but if you're ever in London at night, walking past the window of an establishment in which alcohol flows freely, you may hear, between the outbursts of raucous laughter, the odd voice mouthing off about 'asylum seekers' this and 'bloody Polish' that. The thing is, many of these anonymous voices aren't exactly skilled in the complex ways of spoken English themselves; maybe it's a dialect thing, or maybe it's just an education thing. Either way, the English are also destroying their own culture - by causing the death of their own language.
You walk through the street and you see signs in shop windows advertising DVD's, CD's, and even, most horrifyingly, BOOK's. Sometimes people leave the S uppercase, implying that that's an initial too: DVD'S.
Then, when you've passed the entertainment shop, you're invited to come in for cake's and maybe a cup of coffea or hot choclate. Doesn't it just make you want to scream or perhaps whip out your red pen and start scribbling?
Even when you Google 'grammar mistakes', you're presented with a wide array of suggestions with similar titles to 'grammar mistakes that make you look stupid' - an example itself of its title. That should be 'which', not 'that', you knob.
An infuriating popular misconception is that teenagers are bad at spelling. Spelling and grammar are not something that, once you reach twenty, you suddenly find yourself with an aptitude for. How old am I? I'm seventeen. I will never send an email or a text, never post a Facebook status, never write anything without full standard grammar and correct spelling. For as long as I can remember, I've had a passion and a love for grammar - call me a nerd if you want to. It doesn't matter to me. Why should I feel embarrassed because I'm good at writing properly? Why should I be ashamed when I self consciously point out a mistake in a friend's work? They should appreciate that all I'm trying to do is raise the standard of English in their writing; not only will that make them look more intelligent, it will also mean that they don't lose marks for having mistakes in their homework. Being able to spell and punctuate correctly is a talent, and in the words of Wicked's Madame Morrible, never apologize for talent.
Text abbreviations have got rarer in younger generations now. They were widely used throughout the early years of mobile phones, when every character would cost more money, but that isn't the case anymore and so people are beginning to write more fully. However, many adults with older phones still have to put up with this and still abbreviate, making the idea of teenagers abbreviating more absolute bollocks. My father shortens words much more than I do when texting (not hard, since I don't do it at all) and I'm sure my mum would too, if she were actually able to write a text. Bless her. Actually, the technique of abbreviating words has been around since the Victorian era... I wonder if Vicky sat on her throne, scratching out 'Im nt amused' with her ink and feather. But, thinking about it, abbreviations are what occurs when one removes letters from a word, are they not? Not just any old letters, but vowels. And if abbreviations are making people 'stupid', 'illiterate', and mean that 'people don't know how to spell', then tell me: how do people know which letters to remove in the first place?
On that note, why is bad grammar acceptable in songs? It's like people just gloss over it, forget it, don't even notice it. What's happening to songwriters which means they're incapable of putting a full sentence in a song, minus an 'ain't' or a 'baby' to fill a space? Do they not realize that words are just about the most powerful weapon one could ever use? A well thought out cluster of words can pack more of a punch than any fist, no matter how toned up the arm it belongs to, and music is supposed to be able to inspire, awaken, destroy. No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. But really - how are we supposed to be inspired by 'music' when all it talks about is how much the singer wants sex, or how brokenhearted Justin Bieber is? For me, bad grammar makes a song unable to be taken seriously, and it's really not hard to compose a sentence which actually means something. If I can't fit a sentence in a song I'm writing, I rephrase it. You don't have to resort to non standard grammar to make it work, because let me tell you - it doesn't.
For the record, 'lose' has one O. 'Loose' has two. 'Lose' and 'loose' are NOT the same word. Also, what is with people's inability to spell 'all right'? 'All right' is TWO words. It is not spelled 'alright'. Same, but opposite, with 'already'. 'Already' is one word; not spelled 'all ready'. I can see how they can be confused, but they are different words with different meanings. Getting words confused can have drastic consequences - I remember when, in year ten, my English teacher attempted to demonstrate this by showing us two real life examples from exam papers:
Instead of writing 'he heard the sound of heavy breathing above him', the student got 'breathing' muddled with 'breeding', resulting in this sentence:
'He heard the sound of heavy breeding above him.'
Another student managed to mix up 'matting' with 'mating' whilst writing 'there was rough matting on the floor', and he ended up with:
'There was rough mating on the floor.'
So you see my point? Learn to spell, guys. Grab a dictionary, for the good of the human race.
Molly x
Thursday, 22 July 2010
July 22nd: Learn to breathe again, see again...
Unbelievable. I'm here posting again after only one day - wonders will never cease. Don't worry, this definitely won't be as long as yesterday's post; you can't cram all that much crap's worth into twenty four hours. And trust me, I'm just as thankful as you are for that. My arms haven't quite recovered yet.
But I feel like writing, and who better to listen than my long suffering blog? As Zoe pointed out yesterday, there is nobody better than a blog or a diary to listen to your celebrations or complaints; a blog is never bored, will never judge you, and will always be happy to hear what you have to say. Its mere purpose in existing is to absorb the happenings of your mind and, if you wish it so, to share them with others. It almost makes the Internet seem a friendly place, does it not?
The title of this blog post is a line from the chorus of my song, by the way, as everyone reading this will probably already know. The song has got such a great reception - I never expected this much love for it. It's so amazing how much people seem to like it!
So today was our epic picnic - and it was so much fun. We all met up at my mum's other house since it looked like rain and we didn't feel like risking it. It did rain actually - heavily - and Lauren and I went out and danced in it and got suitably soaked. I actually tripped over a step and went plunging into a bush... very smooth. Still, then we all ended up dancing like a load of knobs (or 'hobknobs', as we've become known to each other) and it was all rather hilarious. I'll probably write more on this in the future but I just can't be bothered right now... the urge to write abruptly disappeared an hour or so ago. Still.
It's strange how spending money is so much easier in a foreign currency. I mean it's obviously because you're not so aware of the value, but even so, it's quite drastic how much more I spend on holiday than when I'm at home.
More soon,
(Promise.)
Molly x
But I feel like writing, and who better to listen than my long suffering blog? As Zoe pointed out yesterday, there is nobody better than a blog or a diary to listen to your celebrations or complaints; a blog is never bored, will never judge you, and will always be happy to hear what you have to say. Its mere purpose in existing is to absorb the happenings of your mind and, if you wish it so, to share them with others. It almost makes the Internet seem a friendly place, does it not?
The title of this blog post is a line from the chorus of my song, by the way, as everyone reading this will probably already know. The song has got such a great reception - I never expected this much love for it. It's so amazing how much people seem to like it!
So today was our epic picnic - and it was so much fun. We all met up at my mum's other house since it looked like rain and we didn't feel like risking it. It did rain actually - heavily - and Lauren and I went out and danced in it and got suitably soaked. I actually tripped over a step and went plunging into a bush... very smooth. Still, then we all ended up dancing like a load of knobs (or 'hobknobs', as we've become known to each other) and it was all rather hilarious. I'll probably write more on this in the future but I just can't be bothered right now... the urge to write abruptly disappeared an hour or so ago. Still.
It's strange how spending money is so much easier in a foreign currency. I mean it's obviously because you're not so aware of the value, but even so, it's quite drastic how much more I spend on holiday than when I'm at home.
More soon,
(Promise.)
Molly x
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
July 21st: Reaching for the stars is making my arms ache.
Trust me, those stars are a long way up, and I'm prone to short limbs.
I've got a lot to tell you. More happens in summer, it seems, than when one is stuck in a classroom at college, being taught how to live life instead of actually living it. Although perhaps that's a little harsh... college only adds more clay to the sculpture so accurately created by the mould of compulsory education.
I don't really know where that little outburst came from. It's not like I'm against education or anything - in fact I love to learn things, as long as they're things in which I have or possibly could have an interest or passion.
But moving on.
I was going to talk about the English trip, wasn't I? Said I'd tell you 'tomorrow'. Oh, that optimistic phrase 'I'll do it tomorrow' - who has faith in that phrase anymore? Yet we keep saying it and hoping that this will be the time we actually will do our homework, tidy our rooms or start that ever-impending diet. And here I am talking in the style of the infamous full marks English piece again; well, why not? Clearly I can do it at least half way decently. (Actually, when I went to visit my grandparents in Scotland last week and showed them that piece on my BlackBerry, they said they'd have given me twenty-nine - and I think I agree. What's perfect, after all? Still, it's definitely a nice thought.)
Ugh, 'nice'. I've been saying that way too much lately. 'Nice' and 'amazing' were last week's words of choice - my in-brain thesaurus seems to have shrunk to encompass the wide range of a whole two words. Hopefully it'll make a comeback soon; it would be massively appreciated, brain.
I seem to be taking my time to write my news down today. I should probably get on with it, since there's quite a bit, and knowing me I'll be procrastinating all the way through this post. A bit of Twitter here, Facebook there... oh, I wonder if I've got a hugely important email which could mean the difference between life and death? Better check Hotmail. And so the cycle begins again.
And for the record, I never have. Got that elusive urgent email, that is.
Aaaaanyway. Moving on.
You know that when I have this much to say I have to write it all down in a Notepad document before I start so that I don't miss anything? Today my Notepad has ten items in it - although some of them are probably only worth a line or two. Just to warn you of the immensity of this post.
So, it begins. English trip. Well, that's actually the origin of the phrase 'woopus to the maximus', as mentioned in my last post. Basically, I was on the train, and Charlotte was getting on at the next station, and we were BBMing on our BlackBerries (I've got a BlackBerry now, did I mention it? As in "It's a BlackBerry. I have a BlackBerry now. BlackBerries are cool." Yes, fellow Doctor Who fans, you may recognize that. And, much as I dislike being a sheep - no, not literally -, these phones are epic. They do everything.) and she said 'I can see the train!' and I replied 'woopus maximus!' - I'm not sure where it came from, but it happened. So then we added 'to the' in the middle and there you have it. The world's most awesome phrase.
ANYWAY. When we got to London (our trip was to the British Library and no, it wasn't as boring as it sounds) it took us about half an hour to find the bloody place - we thought we'd found it, sat there for fifteen minutes wondering why nobody else was coming, and then turned around and saw it across the road. Even so, there was only one person there before us (and thank God she was - a familiar face was exactly what we needed to see then).
But everyone else got there soon enough, and when we were all gathered around, our teachers broke the tragic news that the tour had been cancelled and so we were just allowed to go and look around ourselves. Actually most of the thirteen people with us evaporated in the first section... and let's face it, they weren't going to other places in the library. But some of us stayed - at one point we were reading (well, I say reading, but it was more like ogling) the first Beowulf text, which is obviously in very, very old English, being the first recorded writing. We were trying to translate some of it and I picked up on a few words - Hannah said 'Ooh, you're good!' and then to Shirley (other teacher) she said 'Make a note of this one, she's good for A2' - which absolutely made my day. As Hannah frequently does.
There was another time later on when we were looking at a massive map and I said 'Is that Dutch at the top?' and it was and Hannah called me a brainbox... again, my day was made. I'm just quite adept at recognising written languages because of all my foreign friends - I wish it were the same for spoken languages, but unfortunately I suck at that.
And is this the British Library's idea of seating? If so, I quite like it. wonder where they get them from.
http://twitpic.com/217aeh
So after we'd looked around the library, Jess and Yasmin went their separate ways and Subi, Charlotte, Tom and I continued on to Camden market, where we ate 'sick on rice' for lunch (don't think I don't know, Charlotte), otherwise known as Indian food - which was a lot nicer than it looked, but our dear snobby friend here wouldn't try it. Subi and I were determined to haggle, which we eventually did on this dress (ignore the picture, I'll explain later, but the dress is there):
http://twitpic.com/250nyh
And then after that, we satisfied Charlotte's insatiable thirst for poshness with a trip to Notting Hill and the non-existent Portobello market - there was absolutely nothing there! Unless you count a few stalls. But it was fun. Although we had an interesting job trying to find the station again; in the end we had to give up and hail a taxi. Of course there were none around... but at last, finally, one appeared and we jumped about like loons, arms in the air, doing exactly the kind of embarrassing, uncool thing which alerts Londoners that we are tourists in the capital city of our own country.
That was the day the man jumped in front of the train at Twyford, so of course there were train delays, and when it finally did deign to turn up it was packed and boiling hot. I had a chav standing next to me reading Great Expectations - a definite hmm there.
So the next thing to talk about, I suppose, is the last day of term. There wasn't really much point even going into college for it; I had a free, then tutor, then a media lesson in which we did absolutely nothing but talk about random stuff the whole time. Although Laura and I lingered for ages after tutor to talk to Hannah about 'universities' - a perfect excuse just to hang out for a bit. I swear all my friends think I'm sucking up just because I happened to give her a box of Maltesers. I mean, you used to do that to all your teachers at primary school, right? And none of them were even half as awesome as Hannah is. Okay, so maybe I was sucking up a little bit. Still, it works; I'm the only person she's told their coursework grade, even if Shirley's told a few of her students too. Anyway so we were talking to Hannah and right when I was leaving to go up the hill for media I said 'You have to keep tweeting over summer, because I'm going to miss you'... which is not embarrassing at all. No, really. But I actually felt quite a large sense of disappointment when the day finished. I love college, despite, you know, the whole lessons aspect of it. Or maybe because of it. But I did miss it for the first few days of the holiday - still, end of college depression (a very oxymoronic concept) is nothing an epic sleepover can't sort out.
When my grandad died, he left my mum some money, which with she bought a small house in Goring ready to rent out. We have to have some work done to this new house, which is why it doesn't have any tenants yet, and my mum said that as an end of term celebration I could hold a sleepover there. So we did. There were four of us - Becky, Charlotte, Lauren and I; the other knobs couldn't make it - and we spent our time on some seriously epic activities like going out for Chinese (after we got Charlotte to agree), playing Monopoly (which I lost dramatically), watching School of Rock and What Happens in Vegas and just generally stuffing our faces and getting four hours' sleep... not a wise thing to do if you're babysitting until midnight the next day. Trust my wisdom. But it was so much fun, a fabulous way to celebrate, and now there are some... pretty indescribable photos on the old Faceybee. A necessary part of any event.
Next up is my trip to Scotland. My dad's dad and my step-grandma (who will henceforth be known as Jenny) run a small giftshop in the Highlands selling Jenny's artwork and other things. They have this little/big music community up there, including a recording studio in the house of Steve, one of their friends, my use of which has been in the pipeline since at least last year. However this time was the time it all kicked off, as you're about to find out.
So I flew up via sardineJet (easyJet's new name - if you've ever been inside one of their planes you'll know what I mean) on Saturday the 10th July 2010. On the Sunday, after seeing one of Jenny's friends in the morning, Hannah-the-guitarist came over to meet me and get some musical collaboration done. It took us about an hour to choose a song in the first place, but after we had, it all moved pretty quickly - Hannah started fiddling with her guitar and she'd made up a tune within about five seconds. I then sang along to that and within about three hours we'd got the basic tune of our song, which is called 'At Last'. We recorded it using a webcam just so that we'd remember how it goes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoSKqi0SxoM&feature=email
It's already changed so much since then. It's got faster for a start and some of the lines have changed. Anyway so the next day Hannah came over in the evening after work and we headed off to Steve's to record it. His studio was amazing. All this equipment, guitars, microphones.... sloping walls with soundproof padding on them and - get this - an actual glass room. A glass room where the musician goes and on the other side he sits with his computers, recording us. I had to wear headphones and everything! It was just like everything I've seen on TV, so I was kind of completely in awe of the whole thing. And yes, I was nervous, but Steve and Iona (his partner) were so lovely and nice that they put me at ease immediately - though Steve's the kind of person you just tease, which I did - and they had a gorgeous and huge dog called Charlie whom you can't help but adore. We went into his studio with some Coke and he got Hannah and I to play it, and then he said what he thought we could improve upon and what worked well - when Hannah went to the loo he said to me 'Alto. Interesting.' I was thinking well, to be honest, with my speaking voice and my appearance, what were you expecting? I mean, strange as it is, people usually look like what they sound like, in a way. And I can't remember how the conversation went, except he said he liked writing alto parts for instruments. He tried to put the song up a half step, but it threw me off on some bits so we changed it back (and yes, it is low. It is so low that by the time we came to recording I'd worn my voice out and was having trouble reaching the lowest notes. But it's not noticeably low, just the kind of low you'd only notice if you tried to sing it. But yes, that's why the recording is so bad - it sounds like I'm having trouble reaching notes that are easy for me usually. So then Hannah recorded her guitar part and a bass line, and then I used the recording studio (with the little no-pop-noise screen and the headphones!) to sing a practice one.
On Tuesday, Steve popped over with a CD which will have two tracks on - the instrumental guitar track and the one with me singing along, which I will then take home with me and practice until I have it perfect. Next time I go up there we'll record it properly and then start on the next one! When Steve dropped the CD off on Tuesday, he said that if we had time we could come over and record again that day, which was great as we were originally just going to do it on Monday. Maybe he thought the first recording was as bad as I did. So we went and did about twelve recordings of it, from which he then worked something out. And the recording studio is amazing! All the equipment in there... it's just... and his house is... and everyone there is so friendly! I've met six lovely people in three days, to some of whom I already feel quite close (Hannah included) and I just can't believe that they are prepared to give up so much of their time (Steve is a music composer and producer for film and TV, and a photographer, whose time is apparently quite precious) to help someone they've never even met - who is nothing more than the grandaughter of a friend, in fact. But they're all so lovely and friendly and community based - I love them all! If it weren't so bloody far away, and so remote, I would consider moving there myself.
We were at Steve's for about three hours, and Hannah wasn't there because she was working and we finished her parts on Monday anyway. In fact it was kind of strange having Jenny there instead of her. But still fun. We recorded it about a verse at a time so I could get it right, and then there was a bit near the end which I couldn't do and I wanted to go a bit more ornamentation freak sort of thing, but in the end I just had to settle for what I had, and I was standing up to sing properly as opposed to sitting down really bloody close to the microphone for the quiet bits, which meant that Jenny was making all sorts of jokes about me being a diva - I believe the phrase used was 'Whitney Houston on drugs' - because I was just really going for it properly. I just wanted it to be good - though of course I don't get that oh-my-god-is-that-me reaction when it's played because of how much I've heard my recorded voice before.
(The picture of the dress from Camden above is me in the recording studio with my 'lucky' pink water. On Monday, Steve had said that one of the other singers hates the chair in the studio more than a dentist's chair because she gets so nervous - and I joked that it wasn't as comfortable as a dentist's chair. The next day I got there to find that Steve and Iona had thoughtfully replaced the wooden chair with a padded one, which became known as the throne, and had put a bottle of water in a pink bottle on the table next to the chair. The bottle was pink because it was supporting Cancer Research by the way... it wasn't just random pink water. But because I was more confident recording on the Tuesday, Jenny joked about how the pink water must have something in it - hence why it's called 'lucky'. But how thoughtful was that? There's proof of how nice they are.)
I have now heard the copy that we recorded last Tuesday - it's had strings added to it and everything! To use Steve's words, it's 95% there, but there are definitely parts I'm still not happy with - like a line in the chorus that I forgot how to sing and made up... it was a bit of a mistake. There's also a bit right at the end where I was just joking around and singing like a freak and somehow that ended up in the song too - well, it makes for a bit of amusement. It would be better if I'd known what I was doing, but because I didn't it sounds a bit uncertain and not particularly strong.
Hmm, speaking of strong; two people have described my voice as strong in the last week, which is a bit of a novelty for me. It definitely never has been before, but that's something I've been working on. I do hope this means that my voice is finally improving! So that's basically all the song stuff in a nutshell - oh, and as more proof of how nice everyone in Scotland is: there was a person working in the shop one day called Jo, and we got talking about Lady Gaga - five seconds later she'd offered to lend me her Lady Gaga CD so I could rip it. How sweet is that?
I went to see Eclipse on Friday with Becky and Zoe and, having expected it to be crap, was actually pleasantly surprised. Kristen Stewart's acting appears to be improving and she's got prettier too... so I'd recommend watching it, if only to keep up with the story. It's definitely the best one yet and although it's not perfect I find myself actually looking forward to Breaking Dawn. In true film review style, I have to say:
Best bit: Jacob's line "I am hotter than you."
Aaaaand thankfully we're almost reaching the end of this post - I don't know if your eyes are suffering, but my arms certainly are. Just to let you know that I'm going away to the French Alps for a week on Sunday so I'll do an equally long post when I return to let you know I'm not dead. I'll also talk about the picnic I'm going on with the knobs tomorrow... it'll be fun.
And, as Zoe and I have been having something of a philosophical conversation on MSN all day, I feel that I should write something deep here and get into practice for studying philosophy next year. (Also I feel I should apologize for the sheer ghastliness of my writing throughout this post; I've had so much to say that I just wanted to get it out of the way. I feel quite exhausted now.)
No matter what, there will never be anybody better than you if you're doing the best you can. Cliched, maybe, but true. People can say that there will always be people better and worse than you, but who's to say what 'good' is? Who's to say that what one person considers beautiful could be a pile of crap to the next? So keep reaching for the stars, even if you don't know which star you're reaching for. Remember that it's your life you're living, and nobody can change that. Be yourself, and if being yourself is going along with the crowd, then follow away. Just don't make the mistake I did of taking seventeen years to find out who you are and what you want from life. Don't be afraid, because people may laugh at you, or people may love you. You never know what the world will make of you. Don't be ashamed of trying to shine, because the only thing you have to be ashamed of is not trying at all.
Molly x
I've got a lot to tell you. More happens in summer, it seems, than when one is stuck in a classroom at college, being taught how to live life instead of actually living it. Although perhaps that's a little harsh... college only adds more clay to the sculpture so accurately created by the mould of compulsory education.
I don't really know where that little outburst came from. It's not like I'm against education or anything - in fact I love to learn things, as long as they're things in which I have or possibly could have an interest or passion.
But moving on.
I was going to talk about the English trip, wasn't I? Said I'd tell you 'tomorrow'. Oh, that optimistic phrase 'I'll do it tomorrow' - who has faith in that phrase anymore? Yet we keep saying it and hoping that this will be the time we actually will do our homework, tidy our rooms or start that ever-impending diet. And here I am talking in the style of the infamous full marks English piece again; well, why not? Clearly I can do it at least half way decently. (Actually, when I went to visit my grandparents in Scotland last week and showed them that piece on my BlackBerry, they said they'd have given me twenty-nine - and I think I agree. What's perfect, after all? Still, it's definitely a nice thought.)
Ugh, 'nice'. I've been saying that way too much lately. 'Nice' and 'amazing' were last week's words of choice - my in-brain thesaurus seems to have shrunk to encompass the wide range of a whole two words. Hopefully it'll make a comeback soon; it would be massively appreciated, brain.
I seem to be taking my time to write my news down today. I should probably get on with it, since there's quite a bit, and knowing me I'll be procrastinating all the way through this post. A bit of Twitter here, Facebook there... oh, I wonder if I've got a hugely important email which could mean the difference between life and death? Better check Hotmail. And so the cycle begins again.
And for the record, I never have. Got that elusive urgent email, that is.
Aaaaanyway. Moving on.
You know that when I have this much to say I have to write it all down in a Notepad document before I start so that I don't miss anything? Today my Notepad has ten items in it - although some of them are probably only worth a line or two. Just to warn you of the immensity of this post.
So, it begins. English trip. Well, that's actually the origin of the phrase 'woopus to the maximus', as mentioned in my last post. Basically, I was on the train, and Charlotte was getting on at the next station, and we were BBMing on our BlackBerries (I've got a BlackBerry now, did I mention it? As in "It's a BlackBerry. I have a BlackBerry now. BlackBerries are cool." Yes, fellow Doctor Who fans, you may recognize that. And, much as I dislike being a sheep - no, not literally -, these phones are epic. They do everything.) and she said 'I can see the train!' and I replied 'woopus maximus!' - I'm not sure where it came from, but it happened. So then we added 'to the' in the middle and there you have it. The world's most awesome phrase.
ANYWAY. When we got to London (our trip was to the British Library and no, it wasn't as boring as it sounds) it took us about half an hour to find the bloody place - we thought we'd found it, sat there for fifteen minutes wondering why nobody else was coming, and then turned around and saw it across the road. Even so, there was only one person there before us (and thank God she was - a familiar face was exactly what we needed to see then).
But everyone else got there soon enough, and when we were all gathered around, our teachers broke the tragic news that the tour had been cancelled and so we were just allowed to go and look around ourselves. Actually most of the thirteen people with us evaporated in the first section... and let's face it, they weren't going to other places in the library. But some of us stayed - at one point we were reading (well, I say reading, but it was more like ogling) the first Beowulf text, which is obviously in very, very old English, being the first recorded writing. We were trying to translate some of it and I picked up on a few words - Hannah said 'Ooh, you're good!' and then to Shirley (other teacher) she said 'Make a note of this one, she's good for A2' - which absolutely made my day. As Hannah frequently does.
There was another time later on when we were looking at a massive map and I said 'Is that Dutch at the top?' and it was and Hannah called me a brainbox... again, my day was made. I'm just quite adept at recognising written languages because of all my foreign friends - I wish it were the same for spoken languages, but unfortunately I suck at that.
And is this the British Library's idea of seating? If so, I quite like it. wonder where they get them from.
http://twitpic.com/217aeh
So after we'd looked around the library, Jess and Yasmin went their separate ways and Subi, Charlotte, Tom and I continued on to Camden market, where we ate 'sick on rice' for lunch (don't think I don't know, Charlotte), otherwise known as Indian food - which was a lot nicer than it looked, but our dear snobby friend here wouldn't try it. Subi and I were determined to haggle, which we eventually did on this dress (ignore the picture, I'll explain later, but the dress is there):
http://twitpic.com/250nyh
And then after that, we satisfied Charlotte's insatiable thirst for poshness with a trip to Notting Hill and the non-existent Portobello market - there was absolutely nothing there! Unless you count a few stalls. But it was fun. Although we had an interesting job trying to find the station again; in the end we had to give up and hail a taxi. Of course there were none around... but at last, finally, one appeared and we jumped about like loons, arms in the air, doing exactly the kind of embarrassing, uncool thing which alerts Londoners that we are tourists in the capital city of our own country.
That was the day the man jumped in front of the train at Twyford, so of course there were train delays, and when it finally did deign to turn up it was packed and boiling hot. I had a chav standing next to me reading Great Expectations - a definite hmm there.
So the next thing to talk about, I suppose, is the last day of term. There wasn't really much point even going into college for it; I had a free, then tutor, then a media lesson in which we did absolutely nothing but talk about random stuff the whole time. Although Laura and I lingered for ages after tutor to talk to Hannah about 'universities' - a perfect excuse just to hang out for a bit. I swear all my friends think I'm sucking up just because I happened to give her a box of Maltesers. I mean, you used to do that to all your teachers at primary school, right? And none of them were even half as awesome as Hannah is. Okay, so maybe I was sucking up a little bit. Still, it works; I'm the only person she's told their coursework grade, even if Shirley's told a few of her students too. Anyway so we were talking to Hannah and right when I was leaving to go up the hill for media I said 'You have to keep tweeting over summer, because I'm going to miss you'... which is not embarrassing at all. No, really. But I actually felt quite a large sense of disappointment when the day finished. I love college, despite, you know, the whole lessons aspect of it. Or maybe because of it. But I did miss it for the first few days of the holiday - still, end of college depression (a very oxymoronic concept) is nothing an epic sleepover can't sort out.
When my grandad died, he left my mum some money, which with she bought a small house in Goring ready to rent out. We have to have some work done to this new house, which is why it doesn't have any tenants yet, and my mum said that as an end of term celebration I could hold a sleepover there. So we did. There were four of us - Becky, Charlotte, Lauren and I; the other knobs couldn't make it - and we spent our time on some seriously epic activities like going out for Chinese (after we got Charlotte to agree), playing Monopoly (which I lost dramatically), watching School of Rock and What Happens in Vegas and just generally stuffing our faces and getting four hours' sleep... not a wise thing to do if you're babysitting until midnight the next day. Trust my wisdom. But it was so much fun, a fabulous way to celebrate, and now there are some... pretty indescribable photos on the old Faceybee. A necessary part of any event.
Next up is my trip to Scotland. My dad's dad and my step-grandma (who will henceforth be known as Jenny) run a small giftshop in the Highlands selling Jenny's artwork and other things. They have this little/big music community up there, including a recording studio in the house of Steve, one of their friends, my use of which has been in the pipeline since at least last year. However this time was the time it all kicked off, as you're about to find out.
So I flew up via sardineJet (easyJet's new name - if you've ever been inside one of their planes you'll know what I mean) on Saturday the 10th July 2010. On the Sunday, after seeing one of Jenny's friends in the morning, Hannah-the-guitarist came over to meet me and get some musical collaboration done. It took us about an hour to choose a song in the first place, but after we had, it all moved pretty quickly - Hannah started fiddling with her guitar and she'd made up a tune within about five seconds. I then sang along to that and within about three hours we'd got the basic tune of our song, which is called 'At Last'. We recorded it using a webcam just so that we'd remember how it goes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoSKqi0SxoM&feature=email
It's already changed so much since then. It's got faster for a start and some of the lines have changed. Anyway so the next day Hannah came over in the evening after work and we headed off to Steve's to record it. His studio was amazing. All this equipment, guitars, microphones.... sloping walls with soundproof padding on them and - get this - an actual glass room. A glass room where the musician goes and on the other side he sits with his computers, recording us. I had to wear headphones and everything! It was just like everything I've seen on TV, so I was kind of completely in awe of the whole thing. And yes, I was nervous, but Steve and Iona (his partner) were so lovely and nice that they put me at ease immediately - though Steve's the kind of person you just tease, which I did - and they had a gorgeous and huge dog called Charlie whom you can't help but adore. We went into his studio with some Coke and he got Hannah and I to play it, and then he said what he thought we could improve upon and what worked well - when Hannah went to the loo he said to me 'Alto. Interesting.' I was thinking well, to be honest, with my speaking voice and my appearance, what were you expecting? I mean, strange as it is, people usually look like what they sound like, in a way. And I can't remember how the conversation went, except he said he liked writing alto parts for instruments. He tried to put the song up a half step, but it threw me off on some bits so we changed it back (and yes, it is low. It is so low that by the time we came to recording I'd worn my voice out and was having trouble reaching the lowest notes. But it's not noticeably low, just the kind of low you'd only notice if you tried to sing it. But yes, that's why the recording is so bad - it sounds like I'm having trouble reaching notes that are easy for me usually. So then Hannah recorded her guitar part and a bass line, and then I used the recording studio (with the little no-pop-noise screen and the headphones!) to sing a practice one.
On Tuesday, Steve popped over with a CD which will have two tracks on - the instrumental guitar track and the one with me singing along, which I will then take home with me and practice until I have it perfect. Next time I go up there we'll record it properly and then start on the next one! When Steve dropped the CD off on Tuesday, he said that if we had time we could come over and record again that day, which was great as we were originally just going to do it on Monday. Maybe he thought the first recording was as bad as I did. So we went and did about twelve recordings of it, from which he then worked something out. And the recording studio is amazing! All the equipment in there... it's just... and his house is... and everyone there is so friendly! I've met six lovely people in three days, to some of whom I already feel quite close (Hannah included) and I just can't believe that they are prepared to give up so much of their time (Steve is a music composer and producer for film and TV, and a photographer, whose time is apparently quite precious) to help someone they've never even met - who is nothing more than the grandaughter of a friend, in fact. But they're all so lovely and friendly and community based - I love them all! If it weren't so bloody far away, and so remote, I would consider moving there myself.
We were at Steve's for about three hours, and Hannah wasn't there because she was working and we finished her parts on Monday anyway. In fact it was kind of strange having Jenny there instead of her. But still fun. We recorded it about a verse at a time so I could get it right, and then there was a bit near the end which I couldn't do and I wanted to go a bit more ornamentation freak sort of thing, but in the end I just had to settle for what I had, and I was standing up to sing properly as opposed to sitting down really bloody close to the microphone for the quiet bits, which meant that Jenny was making all sorts of jokes about me being a diva - I believe the phrase used was 'Whitney Houston on drugs' - because I was just really going for it properly. I just wanted it to be good - though of course I don't get that oh-my-god-is-that-me reaction when it's played because of how much I've heard my recorded voice before.
(The picture of the dress from Camden above is me in the recording studio with my 'lucky' pink water. On Monday, Steve had said that one of the other singers hates the chair in the studio more than a dentist's chair because she gets so nervous - and I joked that it wasn't as comfortable as a dentist's chair. The next day I got there to find that Steve and Iona had thoughtfully replaced the wooden chair with a padded one, which became known as the throne, and had put a bottle of water in a pink bottle on the table next to the chair. The bottle was pink because it was supporting Cancer Research by the way... it wasn't just random pink water. But because I was more confident recording on the Tuesday, Jenny joked about how the pink water must have something in it - hence why it's called 'lucky'. But how thoughtful was that? There's proof of how nice they are.)
I have now heard the copy that we recorded last Tuesday - it's had strings added to it and everything! To use Steve's words, it's 95% there, but there are definitely parts I'm still not happy with - like a line in the chorus that I forgot how to sing and made up... it was a bit of a mistake. There's also a bit right at the end where I was just joking around and singing like a freak and somehow that ended up in the song too - well, it makes for a bit of amusement. It would be better if I'd known what I was doing, but because I didn't it sounds a bit uncertain and not particularly strong.
Hmm, speaking of strong; two people have described my voice as strong in the last week, which is a bit of a novelty for me. It definitely never has been before, but that's something I've been working on. I do hope this means that my voice is finally improving! So that's basically all the song stuff in a nutshell - oh, and as more proof of how nice everyone in Scotland is: there was a person working in the shop one day called Jo, and we got talking about Lady Gaga - five seconds later she'd offered to lend me her Lady Gaga CD so I could rip it. How sweet is that?
I went to see Eclipse on Friday with Becky and Zoe and, having expected it to be crap, was actually pleasantly surprised. Kristen Stewart's acting appears to be improving and she's got prettier too... so I'd recommend watching it, if only to keep up with the story. It's definitely the best one yet and although it's not perfect I find myself actually looking forward to Breaking Dawn. In true film review style, I have to say:
Best bit: Jacob's line "I am hotter than you."
Aaaaand thankfully we're almost reaching the end of this post - I don't know if your eyes are suffering, but my arms certainly are. Just to let you know that I'm going away to the French Alps for a week on Sunday so I'll do an equally long post when I return to let you know I'm not dead. I'll also talk about the picnic I'm going on with the knobs tomorrow... it'll be fun.
And, as Zoe and I have been having something of a philosophical conversation on MSN all day, I feel that I should write something deep here and get into practice for studying philosophy next year. (Also I feel I should apologize for the sheer ghastliness of my writing throughout this post; I've had so much to say that I just wanted to get it out of the way. I feel quite exhausted now.)
No matter what, there will never be anybody better than you if you're doing the best you can. Cliched, maybe, but true. People can say that there will always be people better and worse than you, but who's to say what 'good' is? Who's to say that what one person considers beautiful could be a pile of crap to the next? So keep reaching for the stars, even if you don't know which star you're reaching for. Remember that it's your life you're living, and nobody can change that. Be yourself, and if being yourself is going along with the crowd, then follow away. Just don't make the mistake I did of taking seventeen years to find out who you are and what you want from life. Don't be afraid, because people may laugh at you, or people may love you. You never know what the world will make of you. Don't be ashamed of trying to shine, because the only thing you have to be ashamed of is not trying at all.
Molly x
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
July 6th: Onwards and upwards.
I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn - well I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you.
From the intriguing mind of Stephen Schwartz, composer of the music for the musical Wicked. As I was starting to type in this post, this song started playing, and it occured to me that the lyrics are very expressive of the way I'm feeling right now. You see, tomorrow is the last day of my first year at college, and I'm just wondering where the hell the time has gone. What happened to those days that were spent staring at the clock, wishing that school would end? I guess I know that - I wasted them all, staring at the clock. (That's not to say, of course, that I never stare at the clock during my college lessons; in fact I'm pretty sure I could pick the one in my history classroom out from a line of identical clocks). But I find it ironic that the place of education I enjoy most - i.e. college - is the one at which I spend the least amount of time. Especially since I loathed both primary school and secondary school with a passion.
College just does this... thing to you where it seems to free you from almost all those chains you get yourself tangled in throughout your educational life. You become somebody better, somebody more capable, more alive, more you. I look around me sometimes and I marvel at all the people surrounding me, and although so many of them look similar - similar hair, clothes, etc - there are a few who are different. Varying degrees of different, of course - not all of them dress like goths, chavs, or whatever (though many of them do). But even though they are, without doubt, objects of social fascination (and amusement), I admire their courage. I mean, the other day I passed a girl wearing goth boots, a huge lacy black skirt and a little black lacy hat. Her nickname may be 'Weird Becky', but she has some serious courage to wear that stuff into college. But as I was saying, 'different', doesn't have to be like that. I've never been a stereotypical 'teenager' and neither have any of my friends, and I've never considered that brave but I suppose in a way it is. We are, in a way, opposing the flow - swimming in the opposite direction to the rest of the fish around us. And I don't know if you've ever tried swimming against the current, but you need to be strong. But I see these people all around me every day, and I can't believe how we are all one species but so different. How come we all have the same physical makeup but no two faces are the same? How come all brains work the same way, but think differently? What's up with that? It's a bit like perplexed tofu, really. Woopus to the maximus.
Just thought I'd throw in a couple of my most used phrases there (though I never really use perplexed tofu. I blame Cora.)
Anyway. Today has been a really good day. I got a history essay back (on which I might have cheated a bit but shh, I wasn't the only one) and I got a C, and then - right, this is going to be long winded so I might as well just write it.
So a while ago we wrote these media pieces on taboo language for English, and today we got them back and Hannah said "I'm giving out these three first, because they were the best in the class" - they were a 29 and two 27s out of 30. So she gave them out, and obviously none of them came my way, so I was just sitting there feeling really disappointed because yet again I missed an opportunity to get an A. Then she gave me mine and I turned the page to look at the grade and saw: 30/30.
I thought I must have been imagining things for a moment. But no, it was true, it was real - my first ever A in A Level English and at A2 at that. And not just any old A; full freaking marks! I was so happy and excited that it took me the rest of the lesson - an hour - to stop shaking. But OH MY GOD. AND I was the only person in my class to get that full marks. I was talking to Hannah after the lesson:
"Is that grade really mine?"
"Do you want proof?"
So she got her little sheet out and showed me that I hadn't been hallucinating. She was like "I'm surprised you're so surprised" - of course I was surprised! I've never got an A in written English before in my life (I say written because I got one mark off an A* in GCSE speaking and listening), let alone at A Level. She also said she hadn't said anything in front of the class incase I didn't want her to use mine as an exemplar response for next year's students, which I thought was really sweet. I am a bit of a chicken with sharing my work with people. But then I thought, no, this is clearly a good piece of work and I'm going to show it off. Which, yes, sounds up myself, but I'm not often proud of things I've written so it's about time I was. And oh, how I've wished I could be one of those exemplar responses we get given everytime we have to write something.
Since it was our last English lesson before summer, we did a quiz, and Hannah had got all these sweets for everyone. She got little packets of lovehearts for the runners up (i.e. everyone) and for the winners she had these posh looking bags full of an assortment of different sweets. Naturally, because we're amazing, my team came joint first with another group, so we got a bag each and then later Hannah gave us another bag each since she had leftover ones. Also, we beat Tom, the resident nerd who I sit next to; his team came last, to the amusement of my class. Bless.
Then I had a free with Lauren and Zoe, and we went to Bloc and had a massive hot chocolate - I got a free one as I'd used all the spaces on my loyalty card. Nice. So, all in all, a really good day. Now I'm going to bed and I shall awaken on the lovely easy last day of term before my nine week summer off.
Woopus to the freaking maximus.
Which reminds me, I have to tell you all about the English trip last week. I'll do it tomorrow.
(Famous last words.)
Molly x
From the intriguing mind of Stephen Schwartz, composer of the music for the musical Wicked. As I was starting to type in this post, this song started playing, and it occured to me that the lyrics are very expressive of the way I'm feeling right now. You see, tomorrow is the last day of my first year at college, and I'm just wondering where the hell the time has gone. What happened to those days that were spent staring at the clock, wishing that school would end? I guess I know that - I wasted them all, staring at the clock. (That's not to say, of course, that I never stare at the clock during my college lessons; in fact I'm pretty sure I could pick the one in my history classroom out from a line of identical clocks). But I find it ironic that the place of education I enjoy most - i.e. college - is the one at which I spend the least amount of time. Especially since I loathed both primary school and secondary school with a passion.
College just does this... thing to you where it seems to free you from almost all those chains you get yourself tangled in throughout your educational life. You become somebody better, somebody more capable, more alive, more you. I look around me sometimes and I marvel at all the people surrounding me, and although so many of them look similar - similar hair, clothes, etc - there are a few who are different. Varying degrees of different, of course - not all of them dress like goths, chavs, or whatever (though many of them do). But even though they are, without doubt, objects of social fascination (and amusement), I admire their courage. I mean, the other day I passed a girl wearing goth boots, a huge lacy black skirt and a little black lacy hat. Her nickname may be 'Weird Becky', but she has some serious courage to wear that stuff into college. But as I was saying, 'different', doesn't have to be like that. I've never been a stereotypical 'teenager' and neither have any of my friends, and I've never considered that brave but I suppose in a way it is. We are, in a way, opposing the flow - swimming in the opposite direction to the rest of the fish around us. And I don't know if you've ever tried swimming against the current, but you need to be strong. But I see these people all around me every day, and I can't believe how we are all one species but so different. How come we all have the same physical makeup but no two faces are the same? How come all brains work the same way, but think differently? What's up with that? It's a bit like perplexed tofu, really. Woopus to the maximus.
Just thought I'd throw in a couple of my most used phrases there (though I never really use perplexed tofu. I blame Cora.)
Anyway. Today has been a really good day. I got a history essay back (on which I might have cheated a bit but shh, I wasn't the only one) and I got a C, and then - right, this is going to be long winded so I might as well just write it.
So a while ago we wrote these media pieces on taboo language for English, and today we got them back and Hannah said "I'm giving out these three first, because they were the best in the class" - they were a 29 and two 27s out of 30. So she gave them out, and obviously none of them came my way, so I was just sitting there feeling really disappointed because yet again I missed an opportunity to get an A. Then she gave me mine and I turned the page to look at the grade and saw: 30/30.
I thought I must have been imagining things for a moment. But no, it was true, it was real - my first ever A in A Level English and at A2 at that. And not just any old A; full freaking marks! I was so happy and excited that it took me the rest of the lesson - an hour - to stop shaking. But OH MY GOD. AND I was the only person in my class to get that full marks. I was talking to Hannah after the lesson:
"Is that grade really mine?"
"Do you want proof?"
So she got her little sheet out and showed me that I hadn't been hallucinating. She was like "I'm surprised you're so surprised" - of course I was surprised! I've never got an A in written English before in my life (I say written because I got one mark off an A* in GCSE speaking and listening), let alone at A Level. She also said she hadn't said anything in front of the class incase I didn't want her to use mine as an exemplar response for next year's students, which I thought was really sweet. I am a bit of a chicken with sharing my work with people. But then I thought, no, this is clearly a good piece of work and I'm going to show it off. Which, yes, sounds up myself, but I'm not often proud of things I've written so it's about time I was. And oh, how I've wished I could be one of those exemplar responses we get given everytime we have to write something.
Since it was our last English lesson before summer, we did a quiz, and Hannah had got all these sweets for everyone. She got little packets of lovehearts for the runners up (i.e. everyone) and for the winners she had these posh looking bags full of an assortment of different sweets. Naturally, because we're amazing, my team came joint first with another group, so we got a bag each and then later Hannah gave us another bag each since she had leftover ones. Also, we beat Tom, the resident nerd who I sit next to; his team came last, to the amusement of my class. Bless.
Then I had a free with Lauren and Zoe, and we went to Bloc and had a massive hot chocolate - I got a free one as I'd used all the spaces on my loyalty card. Nice. So, all in all, a really good day. Now I'm going to bed and I shall awaken on the lovely easy last day of term before my nine week summer off.
Woopus to the freaking maximus.
Which reminds me, I have to tell you all about the English trip last week. I'll do it tomorrow.
(Famous last words.)
Molly x
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
June 2nd: Angrily philosophising.
So you want to know what's 'up'?
I'll tell you what's 'up'. Nothing's 'up'. Nothing's 'wrong'. Oh, or do you mean the way you ignore me? The way I'm left out of everything you do because I've known you so long that you don't see me as a person anymore? Maybe the way you try to be so perfect, try to please everyone, and somehow I'm the one who's forgotten. Maybe the way the only people who've ever taken a romantic interest in me are freaks or perverts; that I'm left out of everything; the way life is moving busily, crazily on around me and I'm here, motionless, in the eye of the storm... my friends are paired off together, always together, always with their own best friends and though I wouldn't swap mine for the world, I wish she was here with me. My job is screwed up because they never want me to work and even when I do they send me home early - what, am I shit at it? Do they just not like me? Why don't people like me? As far as I can see I'm just a person, so how come in everyone else's eyes I constantly mess up? I can't get an A in English and I'm going to fail all my other subjects - bye bye uni. I'm bad at the things I'm supposedly good at - no wonder I'm crap at everything else. Life never works out for me the way it's supposed to. When I was young, I had such high hopes. I thought that by the time I was seventeen I'd have a boyfriend who I loved and who loved me, friends who actually wanted to be friends with me, good grades, active social life... you name it, and in my imaginary future I had it. I didn't realize then that growing up didn't make you better; just an older version of the same old loser you've always been. I thought that maybe I'd be pretty. That I'd have shaken off my pathetic addiction to chocolate and my constant debilitating habit of self doubt. I never allowed myself to hope that I'd be popular, and good thing, because - surprise surprise - that didn't happen either. The only thing I can really do is correct people's grammar, and that's just irritating.
How come everyone else can get a good job? Can have boyfriends? More than one, in most cases. How come everyone else manages to do and get everything they want out of life? How come she is so annoying and yet she gets him? How come I'm the only one, always, the odd one out? How come some people's lives never fall apart and others' do? How come life's not fair? Why do I think differently to other people and they're never quite on my wavelength? I've only ever met one person who understands exactly the way my mind works and she - and most other people - know who she is. I love her beyond words, and because this connection we have is so rare, people don't understand it. They think it's something different to what it is - and I honestly believe that if you've never shared this connection with a friend, you've never found real true friendship, then you can't begin to understand the levels of complete understanding and acceptance we have with one another. A true friend is, as once said by a very wise source, one soul dwelling in two bodies; and yes. It is. It's like when I didn't know her, there was something missing that I didn't even know I didn't have - but now I've found her there will be no separation - and I believe that it must have been meant to happen. The circumstances through which we met were too coincidental to be anything but fate.
They say fate has a plan for everyone, that you can't change destiny. They say what will be will be and that it'll happen when it's meant to. I just don't understand why it's taking so long for life to be fulfilled the way my child mind's eye saw it. I feel like I still am, and always will be, waiting for my life to begin... I'm not a go-getting person by nature but I'm starting to see now that maybe I have to be. It's just that I'm scared - my life is about to begin and I have no idea what to do or how to go about making myself happy.
I do believe in destiny, but I wish destiny would hurry up and believe in me.
Molly x
I'll tell you what's 'up'. Nothing's 'up'. Nothing's 'wrong'. Oh, or do you mean the way you ignore me? The way I'm left out of everything you do because I've known you so long that you don't see me as a person anymore? Maybe the way you try to be so perfect, try to please everyone, and somehow I'm the one who's forgotten. Maybe the way the only people who've ever taken a romantic interest in me are freaks or perverts; that I'm left out of everything; the way life is moving busily, crazily on around me and I'm here, motionless, in the eye of the storm... my friends are paired off together, always together, always with their own best friends and though I wouldn't swap mine for the world, I wish she was here with me. My job is screwed up because they never want me to work and even when I do they send me home early - what, am I shit at it? Do they just not like me? Why don't people like me? As far as I can see I'm just a person, so how come in everyone else's eyes I constantly mess up? I can't get an A in English and I'm going to fail all my other subjects - bye bye uni. I'm bad at the things I'm supposedly good at - no wonder I'm crap at everything else. Life never works out for me the way it's supposed to. When I was young, I had such high hopes. I thought that by the time I was seventeen I'd have a boyfriend who I loved and who loved me, friends who actually wanted to be friends with me, good grades, active social life... you name it, and in my imaginary future I had it. I didn't realize then that growing up didn't make you better; just an older version of the same old loser you've always been. I thought that maybe I'd be pretty. That I'd have shaken off my pathetic addiction to chocolate and my constant debilitating habit of self doubt. I never allowed myself to hope that I'd be popular, and good thing, because - surprise surprise - that didn't happen either. The only thing I can really do is correct people's grammar, and that's just irritating.
How come everyone else can get a good job? Can have boyfriends? More than one, in most cases. How come everyone else manages to do and get everything they want out of life? How come she is so annoying and yet she gets him? How come I'm the only one, always, the odd one out? How come some people's lives never fall apart and others' do? How come life's not fair? Why do I think differently to other people and they're never quite on my wavelength? I've only ever met one person who understands exactly the way my mind works and she - and most other people - know who she is. I love her beyond words, and because this connection we have is so rare, people don't understand it. They think it's something different to what it is - and I honestly believe that if you've never shared this connection with a friend, you've never found real true friendship, then you can't begin to understand the levels of complete understanding and acceptance we have with one another. A true friend is, as once said by a very wise source, one soul dwelling in two bodies; and yes. It is. It's like when I didn't know her, there was something missing that I didn't even know I didn't have - but now I've found her there will be no separation - and I believe that it must have been meant to happen. The circumstances through which we met were too coincidental to be anything but fate.
They say fate has a plan for everyone, that you can't change destiny. They say what will be will be and that it'll happen when it's meant to. I just don't understand why it's taking so long for life to be fulfilled the way my child mind's eye saw it. I feel like I still am, and always will be, waiting for my life to begin... I'm not a go-getting person by nature but I'm starting to see now that maybe I have to be. It's just that I'm scared - my life is about to begin and I have no idea what to do or how to go about making myself happy.
I do believe in destiny, but I wish destiny would hurry up and believe in me.
Molly x
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
May 4th: May the Fourth be with you; May the Fifth punch you in the face.
I am too much of a geek to let you escape without the Star Wars joke there, even though it is now the fifth of May as I accidentally deleted everything I wrote yesterday. That, my friends, is what we call an epic fail.
So, now I shall continue writing about the weekend we saw Wicked... even though it was over a month ago and I've been procrastinating like crazy about writing here. Indeed, I'm only posting here now because I'm procrastinating about revising for my exams.
'Procrastination' has always seemed like a strange word to me. It doesn't sound like what it means. It sounds like some kind of STD, in my opinion, but maybe I'm just a bit of a freak.
Don't answer that.
Anyway. The Wicked cast were coming out of the doors at the front of the theatre - really bloody slowly, I might add. We only got to see about five of them before we had to leave to catch our train back and once again, for the fourth time, Dianne Pilkington evaded me. At some point I WILL meet her, but alas, just not as Glinda. We did meet Oli though, and I filmed him giving me a thumbs up! I almost died right there. It was so busy that we had to stick our programmes over other people's heads just to get signatures and I ended up swapping programmes with Cora because she didn't get hers signed and I did. Which was probably because I was a bit more vigorous about shoving mine in people's faces... sorry about that.
So yeah. After that we left and went back to the station, and we ended up having to run to get our train back to Reading. For those of you who know Paddington, it was Platform 14 our train was on, which is of course the one furthest away from the Tubes. Typical. We made it though, and after cramming ourselves sardine-stylee among the other people getting that train to Reading at one in the morning. I reckon we'd have been okay and not almost missed the train if it hadn't been for the clocks changing. Stupid clocks.
On Sunday we didn't really do much, just sat around and recorded random stuff and then it was time for Cora to go home, which is always the hardest part. When her train left I left, then I walked back into the station and watched it disappear... but hey, I'll see her again in August and that will be awesome. :)
Anyway, I have to go now, so I'll write here again soon.
(Yeah, right.)
Molly x
Click on the adverts. I get paid for it. XD
So, now I shall continue writing about the weekend we saw Wicked... even though it was over a month ago and I've been procrastinating like crazy about writing here. Indeed, I'm only posting here now because I'm procrastinating about revising for my exams.
'Procrastination' has always seemed like a strange word to me. It doesn't sound like what it means. It sounds like some kind of STD, in my opinion, but maybe I'm just a bit of a freak.
Don't answer that.
Anyway. The Wicked cast were coming out of the doors at the front of the theatre - really bloody slowly, I might add. We only got to see about five of them before we had to leave to catch our train back and once again, for the fourth time, Dianne Pilkington evaded me. At some point I WILL meet her, but alas, just not as Glinda. We did meet Oli though, and I filmed him giving me a thumbs up! I almost died right there. It was so busy that we had to stick our programmes over other people's heads just to get signatures and I ended up swapping programmes with Cora because she didn't get hers signed and I did. Which was probably because I was a bit more vigorous about shoving mine in people's faces... sorry about that.
So yeah. After that we left and went back to the station, and we ended up having to run to get our train back to Reading. For those of you who know Paddington, it was Platform 14 our train was on, which is of course the one furthest away from the Tubes. Typical. We made it though, and after cramming ourselves sardine-stylee among the other people getting that train to Reading at one in the morning. I reckon we'd have been okay and not almost missed the train if it hadn't been for the clocks changing. Stupid clocks.
On Sunday we didn't really do much, just sat around and recorded random stuff and then it was time for Cora to go home, which is always the hardest part. When her train left I left, then I walked back into the station and watched it disappear... but hey, I'll see her again in August and that will be awesome. :)
Anyway, I have to go now, so I'll write here again soon.
(Yeah, right.)
Molly x
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Monday, 26 April 2010
April 30th: My first post as a 17 year old!
My birthday was a week ago, but I've been so 'busy' (i.e. I couldn't be bothered) to write here since. And I still haven't finished telling you about when Cora was here... I fail at blogging, seriously. But now it's Friday morning and IT's been cancelled (along with media this morning. Got a free next too, so I'm ending up with one lesson today. Last. I could have had a lie in. How rude.)
Actually I should probably go and read my last post to remember what I have and haven't written, since the last time I posted here was the day we broke up for the Easter holiday. Hang on a minute then.
Nope. So after we'd finished opening presents and being random, we went to Accessorize (which they also have in Denmark; thank God for multi-national corporations) and THEN we went to Starbucks (which they don't have in Denmark. Well, I've been to the one Starbucks they do have - in Copenhagen airport, which, let's face it, is a bit crap. God, imagine life without Starbucks. I hate coffee and even I'm addicted! The Frappuccinos are LOOOOVE.)
Anyway. So after we'd left Starbucks we went back to college to see Hannah, like I said in my last post (or the one before that.) It was, as I'd anticipated, hilarious... I was just basking in the amazingness of seeing Hannah and Cora in the same room. (Even if Hannah did tell Cora she had to embarrass me.) I thought it would never happen, but you don't get if you don't ask! And oh, my god, Hannah guessed who I like! I can't say much about this now and I'll tell you why later, but she guessed who I fancy the bloody first time she tried. And then a couple of days later, my friend guessed too. Is it that obvious?!
Anyway. After that we went back into Henley for our Henley Youth Festival rehearsal, which was obviously the first time we'd rehearsed on account of us being, you know, in different countries... (except for the obvious reasons, that was why I chose For Good for us to sing - there isn't much moving around so we didn't need to work out a routine or anything)... but it went well. Better than the real thing, in my point of view. Even my high notes weren't too bad (a miracle of epic proportions). But seriously, it was great. Even the little organiser person was like "That sounded good!" when she hadn't complimented anyone else. But then, it would have been good; it was Cora. I just tag along, hanging on the coat tails of her talent.
So, with a good rehearsal under our belt, we then went to meet my parents, Freddie and my auntie Ruth and cousin Hannah (yep - another Hannah) in Pizza Express. We ate quickly and then Cora and I went back to the theatre where they were holding HYF. We were on in the second half, in the middle, so we had a while to wait, but we sat in the front of the audience during the first half, watching the performances and worrying about microphone issues (on my part anyway.) And there was this extremely cocky kid who said - pretty much - that he was better than everyone else. He was good, I'll give him that, but... URGH. I just wanted to slap him. And he shook his head to do vibrato. Epic fail.
So, when it was finally the second half, we went backstage to get changed and shiz and just sat there warming up and talking. I'm sure Cora will have something to say about how nervous I got, but we won't go into that now! (Yes, it was embarrassing. Hannah got her wish.)
And then it was our turn. We befriended a nice girl called Lottie while we were waiting to go on who said she loved the song we were singing (which means I automatically liked her. Anyone who likes Wicked has to be awesome.) And we did a little mic test (we had radio mics, you know, the ones which clip on) and went out onstage. Cora was, obviously, better than me - she has such stage presence, and such a beautiful voice. She's just amazing. I doubt she even needed her mic, to be honest, she has the power in her voice that I can only dream about - and typically it was my mic that broke. Hopefully I can increase the volume in Audacity before putting it on YouTube; otherwise you'll hardly be able to hear me. Which I'm not complaining about but it is a shame.
So after the show we went home with the family and my dad put the video of it on the TV so we could watch it - it wasn't too bad, as far as I can remember, but still. Then nothing much else happened so we went to bed.
The next day Zoe came over about 11:15 and we went to Marion's birthday shizzle, which was good. We sang some stuff, but only five of Octava turned up so it wasn't as good as it could have been. Oh well. It was still fun. And then we left about three and got the train into London, where - and this is what you've all been waiting for, right? - WE SAW WICKED.
The train was fun. I went a bit hyper and lay on the seat, with Cora reminding me that everyone could see my pants (there was nobody else even in the carriage. Sort of. I don't know what she was on about.) and there was this adorable little boy sitting in the seat behind Zoe who kept popping his head up to say hi. Bless.
Anyway so we got to Paddington and then to Victoria and went for a Maccy D's, and then we went (really early) to Wicked and just hung around until they opened the doors. It was a full house, unsurprisingly - I'd never been in a cast change audience before but there's such an energy to it, it's such an electric atmosphere. Probably because most - if not all - of the audience are fans of the show, and they know what's coming and want to savour every last minute of it. And the cast didn't fail to live up to our expectations - they were literally giving it everything they had and really just making the most of it. Defying Gravity especially was breathtaking - everyone in the audience was leaning forward on their seats; I was gripping Cora's and Zoe's hands really tightly... it was magical. I mean... I can't even describe it. All I can say is: why the hell weren't you there?
Apologies if you were.
Before the show started, Cora bought a Wicked t-shirt and Elphaba's awesome hat necklace, and she was quite persuasive in me letting her buy one for me too. But they're expensive, and I wouldn't... so we came to the arrangement of we buy half each. It's so awesome and I love it, and I love her to bits for doing that for me (I love her to bits anyway, but you know.) I was wearing it yesterday, but I'm actually not right now... it wouldn't go with my outfit, since it's white and red. But seriously. It's just awesome. But Cora gives me too much stuff! I have to stop that girl.
So yeah. After Wicked we went to the stage door, which was madness - there were so many people! They actually moved the stage door from the stage door to the front of the theatre, so the actors came out one by one --
And now it's lunchtime and time for Starbucks Friday, so I'll finish this later.
Molly x
Actually I should probably go and read my last post to remember what I have and haven't written, since the last time I posted here was the day we broke up for the Easter holiday. Hang on a minute then.
(I would advise going back to read over a couple of previous posts, just so you know what I'm talking about. Unless you fancy a bit of confusion.)
Right. Okay. I got to the first day, i.e. the 26th March... did I write about HYF? Hang on.Nope. So after we'd finished opening presents and being random, we went to Accessorize (which they also have in Denmark; thank God for multi-national corporations) and THEN we went to Starbucks (which they don't have in Denmark. Well, I've been to the one Starbucks they do have - in Copenhagen airport, which, let's face it, is a bit crap. God, imagine life without Starbucks. I hate coffee and even I'm addicted! The Frappuccinos are LOOOOVE.)
Anyway. So after we'd left Starbucks we went back to college to see Hannah, like I said in my last post (or the one before that.) It was, as I'd anticipated, hilarious... I was just basking in the amazingness of seeing Hannah and Cora in the same room. (Even if Hannah did tell Cora she had to embarrass me.) I thought it would never happen, but you don't get if you don't ask! And oh, my god, Hannah guessed who I like! I can't say much about this now and I'll tell you why later, but she guessed who I fancy the bloody first time she tried. And then a couple of days later, my friend guessed too. Is it that obvious?!
Anyway. After that we went back into Henley for our Henley Youth Festival rehearsal, which was obviously the first time we'd rehearsed on account of us being, you know, in different countries... (except for the obvious reasons, that was why I chose For Good for us to sing - there isn't much moving around so we didn't need to work out a routine or anything)... but it went well. Better than the real thing, in my point of view. Even my high notes weren't too bad (a miracle of epic proportions). But seriously, it was great. Even the little organiser person was like "That sounded good!" when she hadn't complimented anyone else. But then, it would have been good; it was Cora. I just tag along, hanging on the coat tails of her talent.
So, with a good rehearsal under our belt, we then went to meet my parents, Freddie and my auntie Ruth and cousin Hannah (yep - another Hannah) in Pizza Express. We ate quickly and then Cora and I went back to the theatre where they were holding HYF. We were on in the second half, in the middle, so we had a while to wait, but we sat in the front of the audience during the first half, watching the performances and worrying about microphone issues (on my part anyway.) And there was this extremely cocky kid who said - pretty much - that he was better than everyone else. He was good, I'll give him that, but... URGH. I just wanted to slap him. And he shook his head to do vibrato. Epic fail.
So, when it was finally the second half, we went backstage to get changed and shiz and just sat there warming up and talking. I'm sure Cora will have something to say about how nervous I got, but we won't go into that now! (Yes, it was embarrassing. Hannah got her wish.)
And then it was our turn. We befriended a nice girl called Lottie while we were waiting to go on who said she loved the song we were singing (which means I automatically liked her. Anyone who likes Wicked has to be awesome.) And we did a little mic test (we had radio mics, you know, the ones which clip on) and went out onstage. Cora was, obviously, better than me - she has such stage presence, and such a beautiful voice. She's just amazing. I doubt she even needed her mic, to be honest, she has the power in her voice that I can only dream about - and typically it was my mic that broke. Hopefully I can increase the volume in Audacity before putting it on YouTube; otherwise you'll hardly be able to hear me. Which I'm not complaining about but it is a shame.
So after the show we went home with the family and my dad put the video of it on the TV so we could watch it - it wasn't too bad, as far as I can remember, but still. Then nothing much else happened so we went to bed.
The next day Zoe came over about 11:15 and we went to Marion's birthday shizzle, which was good. We sang some stuff, but only five of Octava turned up so it wasn't as good as it could have been. Oh well. It was still fun. And then we left about three and got the train into London, where - and this is what you've all been waiting for, right? - WE SAW WICKED.
The train was fun. I went a bit hyper and lay on the seat, with Cora reminding me that everyone could see my pants (there was nobody else even in the carriage. Sort of. I don't know what she was on about.) and there was this adorable little boy sitting in the seat behind Zoe who kept popping his head up to say hi. Bless.
Anyway so we got to Paddington and then to Victoria and went for a Maccy D's, and then we went (really early) to Wicked and just hung around until they opened the doors. It was a full house, unsurprisingly - I'd never been in a cast change audience before but there's such an energy to it, it's such an electric atmosphere. Probably because most - if not all - of the audience are fans of the show, and they know what's coming and want to savour every last minute of it. And the cast didn't fail to live up to our expectations - they were literally giving it everything they had and really just making the most of it. Defying Gravity especially was breathtaking - everyone in the audience was leaning forward on their seats; I was gripping Cora's and Zoe's hands really tightly... it was magical. I mean... I can't even describe it. All I can say is: why the hell weren't you there?
Apologies if you were.
Before the show started, Cora bought a Wicked t-shirt and Elphaba's awesome hat necklace, and she was quite persuasive in me letting her buy one for me too. But they're expensive, and I wouldn't... so we came to the arrangement of we buy half each. It's so awesome and I love it, and I love her to bits for doing that for me (I love her to bits anyway, but you know.) I was wearing it yesterday, but I'm actually not right now... it wouldn't go with my outfit, since it's white and red. But seriously. It's just awesome. But Cora gives me too much stuff! I have to stop that girl.
So yeah. After Wicked we went to the stage door, which was madness - there were so many people! They actually moved the stage door from the stage door to the front of the theatre, so the actors came out one by one --
And now it's lunchtime and time for Starbucks Friday, so I'll finish this later.
Molly x
Monday, 29 March 2010
March 29th: I've only been in IT 35 minutes.
Time is going sooooooooooooooo slowly. And yes, that was an imitation of prosodic features, because I was emphasising the sooooooooo just like that. Or maybe it was representational speech, but this whole thing is representational speech because it's a blog, so it's representing me speaking.
Anyway, so I know you know why I'm writing here so soon after my last post. Usually I don't have much to say in the space of four days; relevant information doesn't build up that quickly (English Language moment - Grice's Maxims: Quantity, quality, relevance and manner. Who said what I write is relevant or interesting? All I know is that this is my blog so I'll buggering well write what I like and if you don't like it don't read it. (JUST KIDDING! Don't leave me. I love you.))
(Lol as you know I'm in IT and I think Isy's fallen asleep. Oh no, she is awake, Viking just said her name and she opened her eyes.)
Anyway, between today and the last post, a lot of stuff has happened and...
...And now I'm in English on the first of April and yes, it has taken me this long to continue with this post. Firstly I've had a mad OH MY GOD ALL MY COURSEWORK IS DUE IN ON THURSDAY rush and having been spazzing out about that, then I've had a problem with the Media Rome trip I'm supposed to be going on in a couple of weeks (we hadn't heard any details or anything so we were spazzing out, but apparently it's been 'postponed' anyway), and THEN there was a fire in the BT headquarters so all the Internet's been screwed up (but not the college's, thank God, because I had to tell Cora why I unwillingly ditched her last night and don't have credit - though I'm getting some today) so now that I'm in English and there are only five of us (the five whose coursework hasn't been marked yet) and Hannah's looking through the aforementioned coursework and has told the rest of us to occupy ourselves, I thought I may as well make another start on what is undoubtedly going to be a bloody long post.
That was an unnecessarily long introduction.
So, you want to know about my weekend with Cora. Though like I said in my last post, Cora's the only person who reads this so she already knows. Maybe she'd like to hear my take on it - I'm pretty sure she already knows since she's heard quite an embarrassing voice recording I made for her after she left and it's quite clear that I'm not very happy in it. Although actually Charlotte's been reading this blog of late - embarrassing but actually I sort of like knowing that other people don't find me so excruciatingly boring that they can't be bothered to read what I spend quite a while writing. (I didn't start writing this blog for anyone's eyes but my own; it was only meant to be a record of these days which are, apparently, the best of my life. Still, I don't object to people reading it, so please, if you are reading this, feel loved.)
So anyway. Cora got to Henley on Friday the 26th March around ten to two PM, as expected. We then went to Helen and Douglas house, which is the charity shop where we get our 50p hot chocolates from, and met Hollie, who was being very unsociable and reading a book (love you really) and Cora gave me all of the amazing stuff she had for me (a Rent DVD of the final show - ohmygod how seriously amazing is that? I'm eagerly awaiting the start of the Easter holidays i.e. tomorrow so I can watch it; a Danish/English dictionary with a DVD which is FAAABTABULOUS, I mean seriously, how epically awesome. I am actually determined to be able to speak Danish one day, and I will not give up because I think it's a great language even if no-one else, including its native speakers, do. On that note, Cora also gave me Twilight in Danish - which she bit... I do love that girl - which I actually have with me today, ready to dip into and see if I identify any words. Which I will - I do know how to say "I" and "you" at least. She also gave me some inflatable Doctor Who characters which absolutely made my day; now I have my very own Sontaran, Ood and - get this - Dalek.)
I will finish this later, so toodleoo for now darlings.
Much love,
Molly x
(Jess-Steve and I are having long and involved discussions about Twilight, Harry Potter and Doctor Who right now; we're just that cool.)
Anyway, so I know you know why I'm writing here so soon after my last post. Usually I don't have much to say in the space of four days; relevant information doesn't build up that quickly (English Language moment - Grice's Maxims: Quantity, quality, relevance and manner. Who said what I write is relevant or interesting? All I know is that this is my blog so I'll buggering well write what I like and if you don't like it don't read it. (JUST KIDDING! Don't leave me. I love you.))
(Lol as you know I'm in IT and I think Isy's fallen asleep. Oh no, she is awake, Viking just said her name and she opened her eyes.)
Anyway, between today and the last post, a lot of stuff has happened and...
...And now I'm in English on the first of April and yes, it has taken me this long to continue with this post. Firstly I've had a mad OH MY GOD ALL MY COURSEWORK IS DUE IN ON THURSDAY rush and having been spazzing out about that, then I've had a problem with the Media Rome trip I'm supposed to be going on in a couple of weeks (we hadn't heard any details or anything so we were spazzing out, but apparently it's been 'postponed' anyway), and THEN there was a fire in the BT headquarters so all the Internet's been screwed up (but not the college's, thank God, because I had to tell Cora why I unwillingly ditched her last night and don't have credit - though I'm getting some today) so now that I'm in English and there are only five of us (the five whose coursework hasn't been marked yet) and Hannah's looking through the aforementioned coursework and has told the rest of us to occupy ourselves, I thought I may as well make another start on what is undoubtedly going to be a bloody long post.
That was an unnecessarily long introduction.
So, you want to know about my weekend with Cora. Though like I said in my last post, Cora's the only person who reads this so she already knows. Maybe she'd like to hear my take on it - I'm pretty sure she already knows since she's heard quite an embarrassing voice recording I made for her after she left and it's quite clear that I'm not very happy in it. Although actually Charlotte's been reading this blog of late - embarrassing but actually I sort of like knowing that other people don't find me so excruciatingly boring that they can't be bothered to read what I spend quite a while writing. (I didn't start writing this blog for anyone's eyes but my own; it was only meant to be a record of these days which are, apparently, the best of my life. Still, I don't object to people reading it, so please, if you are reading this, feel loved.)
So anyway. Cora got to Henley on Friday the 26th March around ten to two PM, as expected. We then went to Helen and Douglas house, which is the charity shop where we get our 50p hot chocolates from, and met Hollie, who was being very unsociable and reading a book (love you really) and Cora gave me all of the amazing stuff she had for me (a Rent DVD of the final show - ohmygod how seriously amazing is that? I'm eagerly awaiting the start of the Easter holidays i.e. tomorrow so I can watch it; a Danish/English dictionary with a DVD which is FAAABTABULOUS, I mean seriously, how epically awesome. I am actually determined to be able to speak Danish one day, and I will not give up because I think it's a great language even if no-one else, including its native speakers, do. On that note, Cora also gave me Twilight in Danish - which she bit... I do love that girl - which I actually have with me today, ready to dip into and see if I identify any words. Which I will - I do know how to say "I" and "you" at least. She also gave me some inflatable Doctor Who characters which absolutely made my day; now I have my very own Sontaran, Ood and - get this - Dalek.)
I will finish this later, so toodleoo for now darlings.
Much love,
Molly x
(Jess-Steve and I are having long and involved discussions about Twilight, Harry Potter and Doctor Who right now; we're just that cool.)
Friday, 26 March 2010
March 26th: A very exciting day, innit.
Well I know it's been a while since I last wrote here, but college has been giving me a shitload of work and I haven't had the time, not even in IT (though that is where I am right now. I should be doing work but I'm just far too excited).
You see, today is the day Cora is coming to England and to Henley and to see me! We've been waiting since... well, at least since January but I think longer than that, and I haven't seen her since November 1st and I miss her! I can't wait, it's going to be an amazing weekend. Today we're in Henley Youth Festival, singing - what else? - For Good from Wicked (even though Cora's 23 and lives nowhere near Henley; I persuaded them to let her do it with me. Thank you, English, for teaching me such persuasive writing techniques) and tomorrow we're going to Marion's birthday party and then seeing Wicked. Cora does choose epic times to come to England - there's nothing going on here until she decides to come. XD
She's also going to meet a load of people I know and talk about all the time, such as Marion, my auntie/cousin Hannah, and - get this - my English teacher Hannah, whom I asked if we could come and say hi. I didn't think she'd say yes because she goes home at lunchtime on account of no more lessons, but she said she usually comes back around 4 anyway so she'd be there if we wanted to come say hello. Which is amazing, because I talk about Hannah far too much to Cora and Cora far too much to Hannah, so I can't wait to see what happens when they both meet. It could be quite amusing. In any case I think it will just be awesomeness for them to each meet the one I'm always going on about.
So, Starbucks Friday. Cora won't be there in time for that, because I think her train will get here around two, but she's still coming to Henley and on a Friday which is good enough for me. Well, I'd be happy no matter what day she got here, but I'm just rambling and talking crap. I'm too excited to think straight. I never thought I'd get this same kind of excitement again - this is like the way I was the first time I saw her last February. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't really talk straight, and Cora said that when she hugged me I was shaking - embarrassing. But that's the effect she has on me, I suppose. XD
That sounded stamp collector-fied. Yes, I am a touchy feely person; I can be, as the Facebook group states, sexually inappropriate with my friends, but I'm actually not gay. As I state yet again. I just love my friends. It's annoying though because none of my friends are touchy feely people too, so they dislike it if I randomly grab their arms or poke them or something. Typical English people, so happy to be disconnected.
I think I was/will be Danish in another life. I also think Cora was/will be English in another life. I have had links to Denmark throughout my entire lifetime, and Cora has to England, before we even knew each other. It's like we were always meant to meet, cheesy as that may sound. I honestly believe it's true, though - all the subliminal little happenings that have occured had been leading us to the moment that I would post that comment on that What Is This Feeling instrumental and receive Cora's reply. She has had to put up with so much crap from me that I'm surprised she's not running away screaming, and I am truly grateful for that. She is really a true friend and I'm very lucky to know her - just a shame she lives so bloody far away. I hope that in some point in our lives we'll end up living in the same country. Having said that, it will probably happen very ironically and not in England or Denmark as we expect, but in some random country like France which neither of us are connected to in any way, shape or form. (And actually, in my case, feel some aversion to. Damn you, French lessons.)
Well it's now 11:07 and around three hours until Coraness, so I suppose I'd better get on with some work considering we only have 43 more minutes of the lesson. I can't be arsed though... wish I was in Starbucks right now. ;)
Molly x
I'll post again probably next week and tell you how my awesome weekend went (though since the only person who reads this is Cora, you'll probably already know).
You see, today is the day Cora is coming to England and to Henley and to see me! We've been waiting since... well, at least since January but I think longer than that, and I haven't seen her since November 1st and I miss her! I can't wait, it's going to be an amazing weekend. Today we're in Henley Youth Festival, singing - what else? - For Good from Wicked (even though Cora's 23 and lives nowhere near Henley; I persuaded them to let her do it with me. Thank you, English, for teaching me such persuasive writing techniques) and tomorrow we're going to Marion's birthday party and then seeing Wicked. Cora does choose epic times to come to England - there's nothing going on here until she decides to come. XD
She's also going to meet a load of people I know and talk about all the time, such as Marion, my auntie/cousin Hannah, and - get this - my English teacher Hannah, whom I asked if we could come and say hi. I didn't think she'd say yes because she goes home at lunchtime on account of no more lessons, but she said she usually comes back around 4 anyway so she'd be there if we wanted to come say hello. Which is amazing, because I talk about Hannah far too much to Cora and Cora far too much to Hannah, so I can't wait to see what happens when they both meet. It could be quite amusing. In any case I think it will just be awesomeness for them to each meet the one I'm always going on about.
So, Starbucks Friday. Cora won't be there in time for that, because I think her train will get here around two, but she's still coming to Henley and on a Friday which is good enough for me. Well, I'd be happy no matter what day she got here, but I'm just rambling and talking crap. I'm too excited to think straight. I never thought I'd get this same kind of excitement again - this is like the way I was the first time I saw her last February. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't really talk straight, and Cora said that when she hugged me I was shaking - embarrassing. But that's the effect she has on me, I suppose. XD
That sounded stamp collector-fied. Yes, I am a touchy feely person; I can be, as the Facebook group states, sexually inappropriate with my friends, but I'm actually not gay. As I state yet again. I just love my friends. It's annoying though because none of my friends are touchy feely people too, so they dislike it if I randomly grab their arms or poke them or something. Typical English people, so happy to be disconnected.
I think I was/will be Danish in another life. I also think Cora was/will be English in another life. I have had links to Denmark throughout my entire lifetime, and Cora has to England, before we even knew each other. It's like we were always meant to meet, cheesy as that may sound. I honestly believe it's true, though - all the subliminal little happenings that have occured had been leading us to the moment that I would post that comment on that What Is This Feeling instrumental and receive Cora's reply. She has had to put up with so much crap from me that I'm surprised she's not running away screaming, and I am truly grateful for that. She is really a true friend and I'm very lucky to know her - just a shame she lives so bloody far away. I hope that in some point in our lives we'll end up living in the same country. Having said that, it will probably happen very ironically and not in England or Denmark as we expect, but in some random country like France which neither of us are connected to in any way, shape or form. (And actually, in my case, feel some aversion to. Damn you, French lessons.)
Well it's now 11:07 and around three hours until Coraness, so I suppose I'd better get on with some work considering we only have 43 more minutes of the lesson. I can't be arsed though... wish I was in Starbucks right now. ;)
Molly x
I'll post again probably next week and tell you how my awesome weekend went (though since the only person who reads this is Cora, you'll probably already know).
Monday, 1 March 2010
March 1st: IT'S MARCH!
It's March, it's March, it's Marchy-Marchy-March! You have no idea how amazing this is yet, but fear not; I shall explain.
Firstly let me apologize for the complete emo-ness of my last post. I promise you I'm not always that depressed, though I do have a tendency to focus on my inadequacies instead of making the most of the few strengths I do have. Anyway, I'll try to make these posts more "happifying" in future; people obviously have their own problems, without wanting to read about mine too.
For the record, Freddie's thingy at Wembley didn't even happen. He's still basking in the glory of being on TV though.
Let me also apologize for the incredible length of time that has lapsed since the aforementioned emo post was written. College decided to lump all my coursework on me at once, especially IT, and since that is when I usually write here (indeed, when I'm writing here right now) I haven't had the time or the inclination really to pick up my metaphorical pen again to post. One gets out of the habit of doing these things, don't you think?
So. It's March and the Sun is shining, which is such a novelty, as it hasn't been sunny and 'warm' since last September. The Sun has emerged from its long absence in the clutching embrace of those evil clouds to announce to us the arrival of the month that signifies the beginning of spring, Cora's visit, and us seeing Wicked on the night of its 2010 cast change.
Yes, you heard correctly, dear reader! (I have always wanted to say that, though I've always thought it's a bit cheesy to refer to one's audience as 'dear' anything. Still, that's one lifelong ambition fulfilled.) Cora is staying with me, here in England, from Friday the 26th March to Sunday the 28th. Two whole days. A whole weekend! I intend to savour every one of the rare moments that I share with her. And we are going to be busy. It always seems like Cora chooses amazing times to come to England - last time it was Halloween, so she got to experience that, and this time we have Henley Youth Festival on Friday night, Marion's birthday party on Saturday and Wicked on Saturday evening. We're going to be busy. Sunday before Cora leaves can just be for... well, anything. Talking. Pushing the door of her room slightly in the morning to see if she's awake and then waiting until she lies down again and then going in. (I know that was random, but hey, that's us). Basically, I can not wait... I miss her! Imagine if your best friend lived literally a thousand miles away and you could never have them there every day to hang out with or talk to or laugh with or watch movies with or hug. Imagine if you had to make the most of every single moment because you don't know how long it will be before you see her in person again... that's us. Yes, it sucks, but there's nothing we can do about it so we have to live with it. (That's why it annoys me when my friends say we're like stamp collectors; imagine how many times you've hugged your best friend throughout your life, and now imagine how much Cora and I have to catch up on. We've only met in person three times).
So anyway, I just realized how freaking much I have to tell you guys. I guess a lot happens in a couple of months.
(Random point: did I tell you Hannah-English-teacher is following me on Twitter? That made me very happy. xD)
So anyway. A couple of weeks ago there was an English Language conference in London that I went to with Charlotte, and seeing as I was the only person I know who didn't find it completely mind-numbingly boring and actually enjoyed a whole day of listening to people speak about English Language, I have consequently made up my mind that I want to do English Lang at uni and, after talking to Hannah, I want to go to Cardiff uni to do it. I know I'm a bit too young to be looking at universities, but apparently they recommend that you at least look at various different places in your first year of college. Just to be prepared and all that. I doubt I'll get in to Cardiff, since I need an A and two Bs, but I really want to go there and as Hannah said, I apparently have the 'drive and determination' to do it. To be honest I just want to go to uni in Wales. They have some really awesome accents. ;)
So anyway, after the English Lang conference had finished, Charlotte and I paid a visit to Oxford Street. My very first visit to Oxford Street, to Charlotte's disbelief. But we went to all the shops and I bought a dress (which came in very handy the next day, when Becky forgot to bring a costume for the filming of my media movie), and we even had time to pay the world's quickest four-minute visit to McDonald's before we got on our train home. Cora was, of course, haunting that McDonald's in Paddington station, as we went in there on Wicked day when I accidentally on purpose forgot to tell Becky and Zoe the time of the train home so we missed it.
Don't you think it's ridiculous that one has to pay 30p to use the toilets in Paddington station? I mean why should a human's basic needs be used as a money making scheme? It just doesn't seem right somehow. I know food is also a basic need that we pay for, but... do you see what I mean?
We got some more reports from college on Friday, and tomorrow night is Parents' Evening. My report was okay, but I'm a tiny bit apprehensive about the fact that I skived IT on Friday and that Viking might mention it to my parents. Oh well, I told Isy in media to tell Viking that I was ill, (Isy's in my media and IT class) so she probably did. I'm dropping IT at the end of this year anyway; it's too much coursework on top of everything else, so I'm thinking of taking up human biology instead.
But yeah, reports. Hannah clearly still loves me. XD I compared this report with my last one and she was equally as nice to me as before. Well, I do suck up to her quite a lot. I just hope I can be amazing at English and get an A, and then she'd really love me. xD
Ooh, I was waiting to go into IT earlier, and I could hear what Megan was listening to on her iPod because her music was really loud, and I was like "OMG IS THAT RENT?"
Naturally a discussion about musicals ensued and I told her about how I'm seeing Wicked for the fourth time at the end of March. I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it! <3
Anyway, you know at the end of my last post I said I kept feeling really dizzy, among other things? Those things still haven't gone away and Charlotte is convinced that it's a psychological problem, rather than a physical one. She made me tell her everything that's wrong and she Googled it, and apparently all the evidence points to the fact that I have a repressed memory buried somewhere in my unconscious mind. Which is slightly unnerving. I don't know what repressed memory could be making me feel like this; but then, I wouldn't, would I? That's why it's repressed. Still, as far as I can remember I had a fairly uneventful childhood. But we'll see what comes of it. Charlotte is determined to cure me - whether or not she's that bothered about me or just wants to be able to say she cured her friend of a psychological problem after only six months of psychology study. I don't think it is psychological at all, but it might work. We'll have to see.
Hannah-from-media and I finally finished our film! Becky and Zoe were excellent in it, especially as I brought the filming forward by a day and sprung it on them that morning. We did come across quite a few problems but I'm very pleased with the way it turned out in the end. I did the editing and directing, among other things, and Hannah was filming, among other things. I think we made a fabulous team. There are a few continuity issues in there but our teacher didn't notice so I guess we've got away with it for now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaPQGZT3tyE&feature=email
Anyway, I should be going to bed, so I'll be back to write more... at some point. I will refrain from saying 'soon' as everytime I do it just disappear for months on end.
Toodles, blog.
Molly x
Firstly let me apologize for the complete emo-ness of my last post. I promise you I'm not always that depressed, though I do have a tendency to focus on my inadequacies instead of making the most of the few strengths I do have. Anyway, I'll try to make these posts more "happifying" in future; people obviously have their own problems, without wanting to read about mine too.
For the record, Freddie's thingy at Wembley didn't even happen. He's still basking in the glory of being on TV though.
Let me also apologize for the incredible length of time that has lapsed since the aforementioned emo post was written. College decided to lump all my coursework on me at once, especially IT, and since that is when I usually write here (indeed, when I'm writing here right now) I haven't had the time or the inclination really to pick up my metaphorical pen again to post. One gets out of the habit of doing these things, don't you think?
So. It's March and the Sun is shining, which is such a novelty, as it hasn't been sunny and 'warm' since last September. The Sun has emerged from its long absence in the clutching embrace of those evil clouds to announce to us the arrival of the month that signifies the beginning of spring, Cora's visit, and us seeing Wicked on the night of its 2010 cast change.
Yes, you heard correctly, dear reader! (I have always wanted to say that, though I've always thought it's a bit cheesy to refer to one's audience as 'dear' anything. Still, that's one lifelong ambition fulfilled.) Cora is staying with me, here in England, from Friday the 26th March to Sunday the 28th. Two whole days. A whole weekend! I intend to savour every one of the rare moments that I share with her. And we are going to be busy. It always seems like Cora chooses amazing times to come to England - last time it was Halloween, so she got to experience that, and this time we have Henley Youth Festival on Friday night, Marion's birthday party on Saturday and Wicked on Saturday evening. We're going to be busy. Sunday before Cora leaves can just be for... well, anything. Talking. Pushing the door of her room slightly in the morning to see if she's awake and then waiting until she lies down again and then going in. (I know that was random, but hey, that's us). Basically, I can not wait... I miss her! Imagine if your best friend lived literally a thousand miles away and you could never have them there every day to hang out with or talk to or laugh with or watch movies with or hug. Imagine if you had to make the most of every single moment because you don't know how long it will be before you see her in person again... that's us. Yes, it sucks, but there's nothing we can do about it so we have to live with it. (That's why it annoys me when my friends say we're like stamp collectors; imagine how many times you've hugged your best friend throughout your life, and now imagine how much Cora and I have to catch up on. We've only met in person three times).
So anyway, I just realized how freaking much I have to tell you guys. I guess a lot happens in a couple of months.
(Random point: did I tell you Hannah-English-teacher is following me on Twitter? That made me very happy. xD)
So anyway. A couple of weeks ago there was an English Language conference in London that I went to with Charlotte, and seeing as I was the only person I know who didn't find it completely mind-numbingly boring and actually enjoyed a whole day of listening to people speak about English Language, I have consequently made up my mind that I want to do English Lang at uni and, after talking to Hannah, I want to go to Cardiff uni to do it. I know I'm a bit too young to be looking at universities, but apparently they recommend that you at least look at various different places in your first year of college. Just to be prepared and all that. I doubt I'll get in to Cardiff, since I need an A and two Bs, but I really want to go there and as Hannah said, I apparently have the 'drive and determination' to do it. To be honest I just want to go to uni in Wales. They have some really awesome accents. ;)
So anyway, after the English Lang conference had finished, Charlotte and I paid a visit to Oxford Street. My very first visit to Oxford Street, to Charlotte's disbelief. But we went to all the shops and I bought a dress (which came in very handy the next day, when Becky forgot to bring a costume for the filming of my media movie), and we even had time to pay the world's quickest four-minute visit to McDonald's before we got on our train home. Cora was, of course, haunting that McDonald's in Paddington station, as we went in there on Wicked day when I accidentally on purpose forgot to tell Becky and Zoe the time of the train home so we missed it.
Don't you think it's ridiculous that one has to pay 30p to use the toilets in Paddington station? I mean why should a human's basic needs be used as a money making scheme? It just doesn't seem right somehow. I know food is also a basic need that we pay for, but... do you see what I mean?
We got some more reports from college on Friday, and tomorrow night is Parents' Evening. My report was okay, but I'm a tiny bit apprehensive about the fact that I skived IT on Friday and that Viking might mention it to my parents. Oh well, I told Isy in media to tell Viking that I was ill, (Isy's in my media and IT class) so she probably did. I'm dropping IT at the end of this year anyway; it's too much coursework on top of everything else, so I'm thinking of taking up human biology instead.
But yeah, reports. Hannah clearly still loves me. XD I compared this report with my last one and she was equally as nice to me as before. Well, I do suck up to her quite a lot. I just hope I can be amazing at English and get an A, and then she'd really love me. xD
Ooh, I was waiting to go into IT earlier, and I could hear what Megan was listening to on her iPod because her music was really loud, and I was like "OMG IS THAT RENT?"
Naturally a discussion about musicals ensued and I told her about how I'm seeing Wicked for the fourth time at the end of March. I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it! <3
Anyway, you know at the end of my last post I said I kept feeling really dizzy, among other things? Those things still haven't gone away and Charlotte is convinced that it's a psychological problem, rather than a physical one. She made me tell her everything that's wrong and she Googled it, and apparently all the evidence points to the fact that I have a repressed memory buried somewhere in my unconscious mind. Which is slightly unnerving. I don't know what repressed memory could be making me feel like this; but then, I wouldn't, would I? That's why it's repressed. Still, as far as I can remember I had a fairly uneventful childhood. But we'll see what comes of it. Charlotte is determined to cure me - whether or not she's that bothered about me or just wants to be able to say she cured her friend of a psychological problem after only six months of psychology study. I don't think it is psychological at all, but it might work. We'll have to see.
Hannah-from-media and I finally finished our film! Becky and Zoe were excellent in it, especially as I brought the filming forward by a day and sprung it on them that morning. We did come across quite a few problems but I'm very pleased with the way it turned out in the end. I did the editing and directing, among other things, and Hannah was filming, among other things. I think we made a fabulous team. There are a few continuity issues in there but our teacher didn't notice so I guess we've got away with it for now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaPQGZT3tyE&feature=email
Anyway, I should be going to bed, so I'll be back to write more... at some point. I will refrain from saying 'soon' as everytime I do it just disappear for months on end.
Toodles, blog.
Molly x
Thursday, 21 January 2010
January 21st: Epic fails and other such... fails.
I was pondering earlier on a rather increasingly pressing question; why is my brother so awesome and me such an epic fail of a person?
Let me explain. There is a band entitled the Light Years which comprises of 3 ex-Langtree students (and one random other guy). The ex-Langtree students now teach musical instruments at Langtree - Tony drums, George guitar and Chris piano - and Freddie, my brother, plays the drums (and the piano, though he learns that out of school). A while ago, the Light Years' friend, Josh something, was approached by the phone company T-Mobile, who asked him what he'd do with 1000 free texts. Josh replied that he'd create a superband, so he got the Light Years together, along with all their music students, and they filmed a nationwide TV advert for T-Mobile. So now Freddie is on TV, admittedly for only about two seconds (which can be a lot longer than you think) and the song in the advert is being released as a single in the charts. Now, Freddie has been informed that the Light Years, along with their superband, might be playing at Wembley Stadium along with the likes of Jedward (I know, I know) and Pixie Lott - not that I'm bothered about meeting either of them, but the kid is thirteen years old, and look at everything he's accomplished. He's also like a supernerd, grade four piano, and has a load of girls after him even though he's about the most annoying person ever to exist (and it's not just me, even my parents say he is). And he got all the looks from my parents.
Me? I've got 11 GCSEs, two crappy unpublished 200+ page stories and grade four singing. Whoop-dee-doo.
(Although I was only two marks off distinction, and it was my first music exam. Still).
To get back to Freddie, where was I when he went to London to film the advert? I was doing a Christmas concert at a tiny school fair with Octava, out of which I got nothing but being tired for work that evening. I wanted to go with Freddie, but I chose to go with Octava instead because I'm so damn loyal to everybody and I hate letting people down. Loyalty never gets you anywhere, I've found, because I forgot that most of the population of the world is willing to use you to get what they want and then ditch you at the last minute. I've spent my entire life being loyal and not letting people down, and where has it got me? Sixteen years old with nothing particularly special accomplished yet, very little confidence and having never had a proper boyfriend, whereas those who just move through life without looking back at the damage they're leaving in their wake are either super successful, super confident or super popular, or all three. It's so unfair. Those who are bitches shouldn't be rewarded for it; when does life ever come through for people like me?
Maybe it's a matter of morals. I do not want to be like the 'popular girls' from my year at Langtree. (Not so much anymore; there isn't such a social hierarchy at Henley, thank God.) I do not want to be a slut with no idea of right or wrong, I don't want to exist purely to bitch and take the piss, and I do not want to be like every other stupid person in the world, just following the crowd. More than that - I refuse to conform to the stereotype of 'teenager'... I will not let my age shape my personality. I will not change who I am just to fit in. I am me, and I only wish I had the confidence to believe in the person I know is hiding in me somewhere. I can do it when it's just me, but whenever something challenges me I shrink down and I hide and it frustrates me! I don't want people to see this ridiculous shadow of me, because I know that if I could only show them my true self they wouldn't think me so "quiet". I am not quiet!
I just want to come out of this shell I was forced into so long ago. I want to be somebody, do something instead of just plodding along through life. Still I get the feeling that if I want to do anything like performing, which I never even realized was an option for me until I discovered Wicked when I was in year ten, it's too late. To do something like that you need to be in stage school from a young age, and I'm not getting any younger. I feel like time is pressing down on me to make a decision and I'm not ready for this responsibility yet. I feel like I'm still in year eight, like I'm really still twelve and life is moving on, leaving me struggling to catch up. Even though I've been singing my entire life, I only did a talent show for the first time back in 2008. I left it so late, because I was scared of... what? What people would think? I don't know what I was - am - scared of, but I still have that fear. It's a fear of falling, of crashing - and if I say this it's going to sound like a line from a cheesy song - but I'm starting to learn that people who don't crash never live. The thing is, I'm feeling like I've already crashed too many times and I don't even remember living.
Anyway. I'm sorry about that... I don't quite know where all of that came from. Anyway I've got other stuff to tell you, so... moving on.
History exam. I believe that was the first thing on my list of what I haven't talked about yet. It went okay - I think I passed, since the pass mark is an E, but one never does know. I suppose I'll have to wait until March to find out. (Or February 26th, when our reports are being sent home. Yay... is it weird that I look forward to reports/exam results sometimes?)
Last week I went back to English straight after the history exam without eating anything first... bad idea. I get so much of an adrenaline rush in exams which involve a lot of writing that I am exhausted by the time I come out, and I usually have to eat chocolate or something afterwards but this time I just went straight back into English and I was so low on energy I was actually shaking. XD whoops. Methinks I won't do that again. Anyway so we're looking at style models in English, for our coursework, and we had to write an autobiographical piece, and Hannah made us write an embarrassing moment. (Actually I did a memorable moment, because I told Hannah my embarrassing moment in the lesson. After she told me two of hers, of course, which I won't write here as I think she might kill me if she ever finds out. xD) You can have mine, though: I went on a school trip to France in year eight, and after spending a lazy afternoon on the beach, we started packing up to go back to our youth hostel. I asked my tutor if it was okay for me to go as I was, i.e. wearing jeans and a bikini top, and she replied, looking worryingly amused, that I was popping out. My stupid slightly-too-small bikini had slipped, leaving one of my boobs on show to my entire year plus quite a few of my teachers. Now if that's not embarrassing I don't know what is. I know, why don't you leave a comment and tell me yours? ;)
Speaking of Hannah, she's been ill since Monday and today she was finally back. It is seriously quite funny how much we miss her when she's not there; that is how awesome she is. When we have to have a different teacher it's like NOOOOOO! (Whereas in any other lesson it's like "Thank God. Christmas has come early.") I don't know how I'll survive if I have a different English teacher next year. Anyway so I was loitering after the lesson today, as I do every lesson, and Becky had come into my classroom to find me/to be amused by Hannah. Hannah was reading Tom's embarrassing moment and went "Smooth", and Becky said "So that's why you say smooth!"
It's true. Hannah's words rub off on me. Actually, everybody's words rub off on me.
I said to Hannah "Yes! You make me say words!"
And Hannah replied "Yes... I'm an English teacher... that's what I do."
I was thinking, hilarious. Very witty. Not. But I said, very articulately, "Yeah, but you made me say innit. Even though I only say it to take the piss out of people who do say it."
"I say it ironically," was Hannah's response, and I replied, "Yeah. Me too."
I am just so good at expressing myself when I'm speaking. I think you may have gathered by now that I'm much better when I'm writing. It's a shame, that, since speech is such a necessary part of life.
Random point: my mother, who is very disappointed about my lack of mathematical ability, always says "Maths is everything!"
(She's not a maths nerd. She's just trying to emphasize how important maths is in today's world... which is considerably less important than in her day, since now one has a mobile phone with a calculator on it on one's person at most times.)
I always reply, "No, English is everything. That is what we speak every minute of the day, after all."
Funnily enough, she doesn't find that as argument-halting (for want of a better word) as I do. It's only because she can't spell.
(Just kidding, Mummy. Love you really.)
But she really can't spell.
Today I got a text from an unknown number which said "You look really nice today =) x x"
I was very intrigued. I lost all my numbers when my SIM corrupted and I changed my phone (oh yeah - I inherited my dad's old iPaq, which is awesome, but doesn't store any of my old numbers) so I wasn't sure who it was. I eventually found out it was Charly by comparing numbers with the ones on my other phone... but why would Charly text me something as random as that? I mean it's lovely to hear, but still. I could tell it was a female anyway; the writing style is just so feminine. I thought it might have been Lexi actually.
Speaking of Lexi, yesterday she told me that one of the (very hot) boys in our year had said to her "Molly is so fit." I found that hilarious, because let's face it: 'fit' is so not a word to be applied to me. I think Lexi might have been making that up, to be quite honest. She's one of those people who only talk to you/are nice to you when they want something and I'm not sure if I trust her or not. Still, nice to hear even if it was made up.
___________________________________________________________
It's now the 22nd of January and I'm in media, finishing off this post because I didn't get time to last night. There isn't all that much more I have to tell you, but just a few things:
I swear, there is something weird going on with me. XD Yesterday in English my heart suddenly started beating literally about five times faster than normal and I felt really dizzy. I really thought something was going to happen... I just asked Hannah if I could go to the loo and once I was out of the class I felt better, but I have never had to leave a class before because I've been so sure that something would happen. I am the let's-not-make-a-fuss-I'll-see-if-I-can-make-it-to-the-end-of-the-lesson type... not always a great way to be. I just don't like being the centre of attention if it's for embarrassing reasons. Or if I'm with people I don't like. Of course I don't like being ignored either. ;)
Anyway I have to go now, so I'll see you guys soon.
Molly x
Let me explain. There is a band entitled the Light Years which comprises of 3 ex-Langtree students (and one random other guy). The ex-Langtree students now teach musical instruments at Langtree - Tony drums, George guitar and Chris piano - and Freddie, my brother, plays the drums (and the piano, though he learns that out of school). A while ago, the Light Years' friend, Josh something, was approached by the phone company T-Mobile, who asked him what he'd do with 1000 free texts. Josh replied that he'd create a superband, so he got the Light Years together, along with all their music students, and they filmed a nationwide TV advert for T-Mobile. So now Freddie is on TV, admittedly for only about two seconds (which can be a lot longer than you think) and the song in the advert is being released as a single in the charts. Now, Freddie has been informed that the Light Years, along with their superband, might be playing at Wembley Stadium along with the likes of Jedward (I know, I know) and Pixie Lott - not that I'm bothered about meeting either of them, but the kid is thirteen years old, and look at everything he's accomplished. He's also like a supernerd, grade four piano, and has a load of girls after him even though he's about the most annoying person ever to exist (and it's not just me, even my parents say he is). And he got all the looks from my parents.
Me? I've got 11 GCSEs, two crappy unpublished 200+ page stories and grade four singing. Whoop-dee-doo.
(Although I was only two marks off distinction, and it was my first music exam. Still).
To get back to Freddie, where was I when he went to London to film the advert? I was doing a Christmas concert at a tiny school fair with Octava, out of which I got nothing but being tired for work that evening. I wanted to go with Freddie, but I chose to go with Octava instead because I'm so damn loyal to everybody and I hate letting people down. Loyalty never gets you anywhere, I've found, because I forgot that most of the population of the world is willing to use you to get what they want and then ditch you at the last minute. I've spent my entire life being loyal and not letting people down, and where has it got me? Sixteen years old with nothing particularly special accomplished yet, very little confidence and having never had a proper boyfriend, whereas those who just move through life without looking back at the damage they're leaving in their wake are either super successful, super confident or super popular, or all three. It's so unfair. Those who are bitches shouldn't be rewarded for it; when does life ever come through for people like me?
Maybe it's a matter of morals. I do not want to be like the 'popular girls' from my year at Langtree. (Not so much anymore; there isn't such a social hierarchy at Henley, thank God.) I do not want to be a slut with no idea of right or wrong, I don't want to exist purely to bitch and take the piss, and I do not want to be like every other stupid person in the world, just following the crowd. More than that - I refuse to conform to the stereotype of 'teenager'... I will not let my age shape my personality. I will not change who I am just to fit in. I am me, and I only wish I had the confidence to believe in the person I know is hiding in me somewhere. I can do it when it's just me, but whenever something challenges me I shrink down and I hide and it frustrates me! I don't want people to see this ridiculous shadow of me, because I know that if I could only show them my true self they wouldn't think me so "quiet". I am not quiet!
I just want to come out of this shell I was forced into so long ago. I want to be somebody, do something instead of just plodding along through life. Still I get the feeling that if I want to do anything like performing, which I never even realized was an option for me until I discovered Wicked when I was in year ten, it's too late. To do something like that you need to be in stage school from a young age, and I'm not getting any younger. I feel like time is pressing down on me to make a decision and I'm not ready for this responsibility yet. I feel like I'm still in year eight, like I'm really still twelve and life is moving on, leaving me struggling to catch up. Even though I've been singing my entire life, I only did a talent show for the first time back in 2008. I left it so late, because I was scared of... what? What people would think? I don't know what I was - am - scared of, but I still have that fear. It's a fear of falling, of crashing - and if I say this it's going to sound like a line from a cheesy song - but I'm starting to learn that people who don't crash never live. The thing is, I'm feeling like I've already crashed too many times and I don't even remember living.
Anyway. I'm sorry about that... I don't quite know where all of that came from. Anyway I've got other stuff to tell you, so... moving on.
History exam. I believe that was the first thing on my list of what I haven't talked about yet. It went okay - I think I passed, since the pass mark is an E, but one never does know. I suppose I'll have to wait until March to find out. (Or February 26th, when our reports are being sent home. Yay... is it weird that I look forward to reports/exam results sometimes?)
Last week I went back to English straight after the history exam without eating anything first... bad idea. I get so much of an adrenaline rush in exams which involve a lot of writing that I am exhausted by the time I come out, and I usually have to eat chocolate or something afterwards but this time I just went straight back into English and I was so low on energy I was actually shaking. XD whoops. Methinks I won't do that again. Anyway so we're looking at style models in English, for our coursework, and we had to write an autobiographical piece, and Hannah made us write an embarrassing moment. (Actually I did a memorable moment, because I told Hannah my embarrassing moment in the lesson. After she told me two of hers, of course, which I won't write here as I think she might kill me if she ever finds out. xD) You can have mine, though: I went on a school trip to France in year eight, and after spending a lazy afternoon on the beach, we started packing up to go back to our youth hostel. I asked my tutor if it was okay for me to go as I was, i.e. wearing jeans and a bikini top, and she replied, looking worryingly amused, that I was popping out. My stupid slightly-too-small bikini had slipped, leaving one of my boobs on show to my entire year plus quite a few of my teachers. Now if that's not embarrassing I don't know what is. I know, why don't you leave a comment and tell me yours? ;)
Speaking of Hannah, she's been ill since Monday and today she was finally back. It is seriously quite funny how much we miss her when she's not there; that is how awesome she is. When we have to have a different teacher it's like NOOOOOO! (Whereas in any other lesson it's like "Thank God. Christmas has come early.") I don't know how I'll survive if I have a different English teacher next year. Anyway so I was loitering after the lesson today, as I do every lesson, and Becky had come into my classroom to find me/to be amused by Hannah. Hannah was reading Tom's embarrassing moment and went "Smooth", and Becky said "So that's why you say smooth!"
It's true. Hannah's words rub off on me. Actually, everybody's words rub off on me.
I said to Hannah "Yes! You make me say words!"
And Hannah replied "Yes... I'm an English teacher... that's what I do."
I was thinking, hilarious. Very witty. Not. But I said, very articulately, "Yeah, but you made me say innit. Even though I only say it to take the piss out of people who do say it."
"I say it ironically," was Hannah's response, and I replied, "Yeah. Me too."
I am just so good at expressing myself when I'm speaking. I think you may have gathered by now that I'm much better when I'm writing. It's a shame, that, since speech is such a necessary part of life.
Random point: my mother, who is very disappointed about my lack of mathematical ability, always says "Maths is everything!"
(She's not a maths nerd. She's just trying to emphasize how important maths is in today's world... which is considerably less important than in her day, since now one has a mobile phone with a calculator on it on one's person at most times.)
I always reply, "No, English is everything. That is what we speak every minute of the day, after all."
Funnily enough, she doesn't find that as argument-halting (for want of a better word) as I do. It's only because she can't spell.
(Just kidding, Mummy. Love you really.)
But she really can't spell.
Today I got a text from an unknown number which said "You look really nice today =) x x"
I was very intrigued. I lost all my numbers when my SIM corrupted and I changed my phone (oh yeah - I inherited my dad's old iPaq, which is awesome, but doesn't store any of my old numbers) so I wasn't sure who it was. I eventually found out it was Charly by comparing numbers with the ones on my other phone... but why would Charly text me something as random as that? I mean it's lovely to hear, but still. I could tell it was a female anyway; the writing style is just so feminine. I thought it might have been Lexi actually.
Speaking of Lexi, yesterday she told me that one of the (very hot) boys in our year had said to her "Molly is so fit." I found that hilarious, because let's face it: 'fit' is so not a word to be applied to me. I think Lexi might have been making that up, to be quite honest. She's one of those people who only talk to you/are nice to you when they want something and I'm not sure if I trust her or not. Still, nice to hear even if it was made up.
___________________________________________________________
It's now the 22nd of January and I'm in media, finishing off this post because I didn't get time to last night. There isn't all that much more I have to tell you, but just a few things:
I swear, there is something weird going on with me. XD Yesterday in English my heart suddenly started beating literally about five times faster than normal and I felt really dizzy. I really thought something was going to happen... I just asked Hannah if I could go to the loo and once I was out of the class I felt better, but I have never had to leave a class before because I've been so sure that something would happen. I am the let's-not-make-a-fuss-I'll-see-if-I-can-make-it-to-the-end-of-the-lesson type... not always a great way to be. I just don't like being the centre of attention if it's for embarrassing reasons. Or if I'm with people I don't like. Of course I don't like being ignored either. ;)
Anyway I have to go now, so I'll see you guys soon.
Molly x
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
January 13th: Exciting developments...
Well hello!
I have quite a bit to tell you again, and since college is closed again due to snow (even for the exam students - there are a lot of angry posts on Facebook about it. I wonder if it will be open for my history exam tomorrow...) I have no excuse for not writing here, so let's get on with it.
Right. So I may have mentioned that I had an English exam on Monday morning and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get to college to do it, so I was working out all sorts of ways I could get there - all of that wasn't necessary in the end because the college bus came as usual. Admittedly there were only five of us on it (usually there are fifty three) because college was only open to exam students and most people got a lift anyway. But I got there in plenty of time and the exam was actually okay. There isn't much one can revise for English Language except the terminology and the exam technique, both of which I revised on Sunday night and on the bus on Monday morning, and it was fine in the end. Hopefully I got a B or above (I really want an A) or I'm so retaking it, which would be annoying since it would have to be in June when I have my other exams. (That's why I don't want history to be cancelled tomorrow - there's a hell of a lot of revision to do for that and it would be impossible to pass with other exams to do as well.)
After the exam I was in Henley with Charly, waiting for it to be the right time to catch my train home, and when we went into a chip shop to get her some chips, she bumped into two of her friends, one of whom is really hot. Like seriously. He has quite amazing brown eyes, which you just know you could fall into, given the chance. We only spoke briefly, while Charly was getting her chips, and then he had to catch his bus and I had to catch my train, which was quite a shame. Although he did wink at me when I asked Charly where the station was from there (which I probably could have found myself but I wasn't sure) and he replied. Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to give you some updates on that soon. (Like later in this post. I'm doing things in order. xD)
So I got to the station twenty minutes early for my train, but at least I did have time to buy a ticket this time. Usually I get a child one, because I know I look young enough to get away with pretending to be fifteen even though I'll be seventeen in three months and ten days - however, after the incident with the ticket collector before Christmas, I decided to always buy adult tickets when I'm in Henley, and it was lucky that I did because the evil ticket collector came round to check. I don't know if he recognized me - he did give me a slight heart attack by scowling at me and making me think something was wrong with my ticket, but it turned out that it was only because I was holding it upside down. When he found out that a group of people further down the train hadn't bought tickets, though, he went mad. I felt quite sorry for them. They said the ticket machine hadn't taken their money and then the TC asked (in his hard-to-understand Indian accent) why they hadn't gone to the ticket office. They replied they didn't know there was a ticket office, which was fair enough - I didn't know there was one either. But the TC was really giving them a hard time about it, which I thought was really unfair of him since they did want to buy tickets off him then. They did, in the end, and they continued their journey in peace. I actually really admire their courage in the face of the evil ticket collector, especially as he tried to charge them twenty pounds for travelling without a ticket. I know that if that was me I'd have been kicked off the train again because I'm just so crap in situations like those. I wish I wasn't so non-confrontational.
Anyway so yeah. After I got off my second train at Reading (you have to change at Twyford to get to/from Henley) I went to the bus, as I usually do, only to find out that it wasn't going any further than Pangbourne. This meant that it was a complete waste of time and £1.60 -
- Random point: it just took me twelve minutes to get that pound sign because the button on my computer doesn't work, so I had to tweet about it to get someone to send me one. I hate my computer sometimes. -
- because I could have stayed on the train until Pangbourne. Admittedly I hadn't paid to go to Pangbourne but they'd never have noticed. Anyway, so I had to walk all the way from Pangbourne to home, which took an hour even though it's a five minute drive, up a massive hill which is hard enough to walk up even when it's not covered in snow. You know how it is when you walk in snow; your feet can't get purchase on the ground and they keep slipping out from under you so it's completely exhausting to walk even short distances. And then, to top it off, I slipped over when I was almost home and yesterday, walking to the bus stop to go to college, I slipped over again and landed in exactly the same place - the bones in my bum. Ouch.
My leg muscles are really painful as well today and were yesterday too. Bloody hill.
Anyway. Yesterday, in my second free, I was in Starbucks with Charly, and Alicia, Ruby and Simon were in there too so we went and said hi. Alicia told me that the Starbucks staff had recognized her so much that they'd given her a booklet of vouchers for 50p off a drink everyday, but she'd gone back again later and they'd given her another one by mistake. How awesome is that? I want one! Imagine the money you could save on 50p off a Starbucks beverage everytime you buy one. Anyway, so Alicia gave a voucher to me, which is only valid for today - and then college was closed AGAIN because of the snow. I am not amused. And to top it all off, I have a really powerful craving for a frappuccino right now.
Sooo. Anyway. It is now time to expand on my earlier (and rather confusing) paragraph about the hot boy. I was wondering who he was all of Monday night and most of Tuesday, and I was trying to figure out a way to subtly ask Charly who he is without being really obvious. Of course, when it actually came to asking her, I was standing by Hannah's desk at the end of English waiting to ask her about the coursework, and Charly was waiting for me, so I very subtly said to her "Who was that guy we were with yesterday? The one you were waiting for the bus with?"
(We'll call him T.)
Charly replied, "Who? T?"
And I (very subtly, naturally) said "He's hot."
Charly's response to that was quite funny. She's apparently really good friends with him because he went to her secondary school, and she spent the entire free telling me all about him. With a little persuasion from me, of course. Apparently he's in our year, he's seventeen, he's studying English Language and Ancient History (and two others which I've forgotten), he plays saxaphone and a bit of guitar and just generally loves music (so he loves English, history and music. Ooh, that sounds familiar). He likes brunettes, which is handy, and he's only ever had one proper girlfriend before and they 'didn't do anything', according to Charly. (She described him as 'desperate' because he keeps saying girls are hot, which actually I find quite sweet. She said that he has a heart of gold and he's very friendly... could he sound any more perfect? Besides, if he's 'desperate', that means he won't sleep his way around college or talk about other girls all the time or mess me around by saying he likes me but he doesn't want to go out with me. (Yes, I speak from experience here, and I can't be doing with boys like that. I want a boy who, as Charly said, has a heart of gold... you don't find many of those anymore.) Oh, and the best thing is: he's single!
Charly also told me quite a few other things about him which I've forgotten, but all of them just made me want to get to know him better. He sounds perfect to me; the only flaw in the plan is that he probably won't like me in return. Boys usually don't.
Anyway so Charly and I have all the same frees, blocks one and five, and it turns out that T has block five free too, so Charly's going to get him to hang out with us on Friday and try and matchmake us, I suppose. I have very little faith that it will actually work, but oh, I hope it does. Meeting him happened at a very good time, as well, because I'd just decided that it was time to get over Mono. I mean he and Pavlova are obviously not going to break up anytime soon and I'm sick of it still hurting me whenever I see them together. I'm aware that it's not that easy, but it's just a crush. It probably would have worn off soon anyway. Anyway, so after Friday's free I will hopefully have some more stuff to tell you guys about this. I wasn't actually sure whether to tell anyone about it, because everytime I do it seems to jinx things, but then Charly knows and without her there would be no chance of it happening at all. However it's hard to keep things like this to myself, so I thought I'd write it here, and then I wouldn't actually be telling anyone but I can still have the opportunity of talking about it with someone if they read it here. Which would be nice.
So tomorrow is the day of my dreaded history exam, which (although it's dreaded) I sincerely hope I'll be able to do because I just want it over with. I don't want to have to postpone it until June; I can't be bothered to revise for it all over again then. Besides, if we delay it until June then I won't have the option of retaking, which I think I'll definitely need. This snow is just a complete pain in the arse for everyone now. It's getting ridiculous.
Ooh! I 've just realized it's one month until Cora's birthday! I really should get her present soon.
Molly x
I have quite a bit to tell you again, and since college is closed again due to snow (even for the exam students - there are a lot of angry posts on Facebook about it. I wonder if it will be open for my history exam tomorrow...) I have no excuse for not writing here, so let's get on with it.
Right. So I may have mentioned that I had an English exam on Monday morning and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get to college to do it, so I was working out all sorts of ways I could get there - all of that wasn't necessary in the end because the college bus came as usual. Admittedly there were only five of us on it (usually there are fifty three) because college was only open to exam students and most people got a lift anyway. But I got there in plenty of time and the exam was actually okay. There isn't much one can revise for English Language except the terminology and the exam technique, both of which I revised on Sunday night and on the bus on Monday morning, and it was fine in the end. Hopefully I got a B or above (I really want an A) or I'm so retaking it, which would be annoying since it would have to be in June when I have my other exams. (That's why I don't want history to be cancelled tomorrow - there's a hell of a lot of revision to do for that and it would be impossible to pass with other exams to do as well.)
After the exam I was in Henley with Charly, waiting for it to be the right time to catch my train home, and when we went into a chip shop to get her some chips, she bumped into two of her friends, one of whom is really hot. Like seriously. He has quite amazing brown eyes, which you just know you could fall into, given the chance. We only spoke briefly, while Charly was getting her chips, and then he had to catch his bus and I had to catch my train, which was quite a shame. Although he did wink at me when I asked Charly where the station was from there (which I probably could have found myself but I wasn't sure) and he replied. Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to give you some updates on that soon. (Like later in this post. I'm doing things in order. xD)
So I got to the station twenty minutes early for my train, but at least I did have time to buy a ticket this time. Usually I get a child one, because I know I look young enough to get away with pretending to be fifteen even though I'll be seventeen in three months and ten days - however, after the incident with the ticket collector before Christmas, I decided to always buy adult tickets when I'm in Henley, and it was lucky that I did because the evil ticket collector came round to check. I don't know if he recognized me - he did give me a slight heart attack by scowling at me and making me think something was wrong with my ticket, but it turned out that it was only because I was holding it upside down. When he found out that a group of people further down the train hadn't bought tickets, though, he went mad. I felt quite sorry for them. They said the ticket machine hadn't taken their money and then the TC asked (in his hard-to-understand Indian accent) why they hadn't gone to the ticket office. They replied they didn't know there was a ticket office, which was fair enough - I didn't know there was one either. But the TC was really giving them a hard time about it, which I thought was really unfair of him since they did want to buy tickets off him then. They did, in the end, and they continued their journey in peace. I actually really admire their courage in the face of the evil ticket collector, especially as he tried to charge them twenty pounds for travelling without a ticket. I know that if that was me I'd have been kicked off the train again because I'm just so crap in situations like those. I wish I wasn't so non-confrontational.
Anyway so yeah. After I got off my second train at Reading (you have to change at Twyford to get to/from Henley) I went to the bus, as I usually do, only to find out that it wasn't going any further than Pangbourne. This meant that it was a complete waste of time and £1.60 -
- Random point: it just took me twelve minutes to get that pound sign because the button on my computer doesn't work, so I had to tweet about it to get someone to send me one. I hate my computer sometimes. -
- because I could have stayed on the train until Pangbourne. Admittedly I hadn't paid to go to Pangbourne but they'd never have noticed. Anyway, so I had to walk all the way from Pangbourne to home, which took an hour even though it's a five minute drive, up a massive hill which is hard enough to walk up even when it's not covered in snow. You know how it is when you walk in snow; your feet can't get purchase on the ground and they keep slipping out from under you so it's completely exhausting to walk even short distances. And then, to top it off, I slipped over when I was almost home and yesterday, walking to the bus stop to go to college, I slipped over again and landed in exactly the same place - the bones in my bum. Ouch.
My leg muscles are really painful as well today and were yesterday too. Bloody hill.
Anyway. Yesterday, in my second free, I was in Starbucks with Charly, and Alicia, Ruby and Simon were in there too so we went and said hi. Alicia told me that the Starbucks staff had recognized her so much that they'd given her a booklet of vouchers for 50p off a drink everyday, but she'd gone back again later and they'd given her another one by mistake. How awesome is that? I want one! Imagine the money you could save on 50p off a Starbucks beverage everytime you buy one. Anyway, so Alicia gave a voucher to me, which is only valid for today - and then college was closed AGAIN because of the snow. I am not amused. And to top it all off, I have a really powerful craving for a frappuccino right now.
Sooo. Anyway. It is now time to expand on my earlier (and rather confusing) paragraph about the hot boy. I was wondering who he was all of Monday night and most of Tuesday, and I was trying to figure out a way to subtly ask Charly who he is without being really obvious. Of course, when it actually came to asking her, I was standing by Hannah's desk at the end of English waiting to ask her about the coursework, and Charly was waiting for me, so I very subtly said to her "Who was that guy we were with yesterday? The one you were waiting for the bus with?"
(We'll call him T.)
Charly replied, "Who? T?"
And I (very subtly, naturally) said "He's hot."
Charly's response to that was quite funny. She's apparently really good friends with him because he went to her secondary school, and she spent the entire free telling me all about him. With a little persuasion from me, of course. Apparently he's in our year, he's seventeen, he's studying English Language and Ancient History (and two others which I've forgotten), he plays saxaphone and a bit of guitar and just generally loves music (so he loves English, history and music. Ooh, that sounds familiar). He likes brunettes, which is handy, and he's only ever had one proper girlfriend before and they 'didn't do anything', according to Charly. (She described him as 'desperate' because he keeps saying girls are hot, which actually I find quite sweet. She said that he has a heart of gold and he's very friendly... could he sound any more perfect? Besides, if he's 'desperate', that means he won't sleep his way around college or talk about other girls all the time or mess me around by saying he likes me but he doesn't want to go out with me. (Yes, I speak from experience here, and I can't be doing with boys like that. I want a boy who, as Charly said, has a heart of gold... you don't find many of those anymore.) Oh, and the best thing is: he's single!
Charly also told me quite a few other things about him which I've forgotten, but all of them just made me want to get to know him better. He sounds perfect to me; the only flaw in the plan is that he probably won't like me in return. Boys usually don't.
Anyway so Charly and I have all the same frees, blocks one and five, and it turns out that T has block five free too, so Charly's going to get him to hang out with us on Friday and try and matchmake us, I suppose. I have very little faith that it will actually work, but oh, I hope it does. Meeting him happened at a very good time, as well, because I'd just decided that it was time to get over Mono. I mean he and Pavlova are obviously not going to break up anytime soon and I'm sick of it still hurting me whenever I see them together. I'm aware that it's not that easy, but it's just a crush. It probably would have worn off soon anyway. Anyway, so after Friday's free I will hopefully have some more stuff to tell you guys about this. I wasn't actually sure whether to tell anyone about it, because everytime I do it seems to jinx things, but then Charly knows and without her there would be no chance of it happening at all. However it's hard to keep things like this to myself, so I thought I'd write it here, and then I wouldn't actually be telling anyone but I can still have the opportunity of talking about it with someone if they read it here. Which would be nice.
So tomorrow is the day of my dreaded history exam, which (although it's dreaded) I sincerely hope I'll be able to do because I just want it over with. I don't want to have to postpone it until June; I can't be bothered to revise for it all over again then. Besides, if we delay it until June then I won't have the option of retaking, which I think I'll definitely need. This snow is just a complete pain in the arse for everyone now. It's getting ridiculous.
Ooh! I 've just realized it's one month until Cora's birthday! I really should get her present soon.
Molly x
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