I realise it's unusual for me to post twice on the same day, but I have recently been stumbling across quite a few articles on language - which is, admittedly, not a particularly surprising occurrence for me. However, the articles in question have been getting on my nerves somewhat.
I also don't know anybody my age who would insinuate that J.K. Rowling's storylines are less than satisfactory.
Whilst writing an essay for my e-communication class the other week (I know, another post inspired by that blasted class; I swear it's all I ever do) I found an article from the Mail Online, in which John Humphrys describes users of text messaging as "destroying [our language]: pillaging our punctuation; savaging our sentences; raping our vocabulary. And they must be stopped."
And who, I hear you cry, are the users in question? Who are these "vandals" who are doing to our language now "what Genghis Khan did to his neighbours eight hundred years ago"? It's young people, of course - young, impressionable children whose minds aren't developed enough to know the difference between what formality of language is acceptable in which situation. Is that really what you think of us now - that the future of your country lies in the hands of a bunch of imbeciles who can't decide when to add the letters "yo" to "u"?
Well, if that's the case, no wonder you're terrified. No wonder you accuse us of "sloppy habits" and call us "vandals". But to suggest that the responsibility of our language's grammatical collapse falls entirely on the shoulders of the younger generations is completely preposterous. Consider that we do not teach ourselves how to punctuate a sentence or spell a word. Consider that these are your children you're talking about - are you then holding yourself responsible for your child's inability to construct a grammatically correct sentence? Are you accusing your child's teachers of being inadequate? I don't think you are, are you? You think a piece of technology has the power to be completely detrimental to one's language skills. We're not born typing; we learn to speak before we learn to text and according to various surveys, most of us don't even get our first phone until we're ten or older, so do you honestly believe that a mobile can reach into a person's brain and undo all the good work? Can technology really rewire one's language?
To that question I am inclined to respond with a big fat "pfffft". It's bollocks. Abbreviations have been around for hundreds of years - believe it or not, they were around long before fingers could press keys to create them. Admittedly there are ones that are slightly over the top, but most of the abbreviations used in texts are simple and, funnily enough, more widely used by adults than teenagers. This is probably due to the fact that a lot of adults find phone keypads difficult to use - or, in the case of particularly technologically challenged individuals, still think that you're charged by the character rather than the text.
Yes, I can be pedantic about grammar. I do accept that language must change - of course it must, or it could never progress - but I will never approve of misplaced apostrophes or unnecessary capitalisation (Never Do This Or I Shall Kill You. Also, ORDINARY NOUNS DO NOT NEED CAPITALISING. ONLY PROPER NOUNS SHOULD BE CAPITALISED. REMEMBER THIS). Some errors are just so simple I wonder how much of an idiot you'd have to be to get it wrong. And yes, people frequently make grammar errors - but 'text speak' finding its way into real life situations is the least of our worries. Most people know which formality of language is appropriate for which situation and can adapt accordingly. How do you think we're achieving higher exam results than ever? Oh, excuse me, I'd forgotten - exams are getting easier, aren't they?
If you want some really horrifying examples of grammar, try these:
Funny - I don't know any teenagers who know how to "loose" a car. Do you?
It would seem that even the church isn't exempt from their share of (rather alarming, in this case) phrasing mishaps. Don't let worries kill you - let the church help? I may not be religious, but even I know that killing off your congregation isn't likely to get you to heaven. Typical; must be all those teenage vicars. Sort it out!
I am a teenager. I have always had an instinct for grammar. When I was younger I went through a stage of using 'text speak' but grew out of it (as so many do) and now I - and a great deal of my peers - ALWAYS, without fail, punctuate everything I write fully, no matter whether I'm writing an email or an essay, a text or a tweet, or, perhaps most surprisingly, a Facebook update. I have never used even the smallest example of 'text speak' in an essay.
(Well actually, that's a lie, but I had to; I was writing about text messages! And examples were all they were. Blame e-communication.)
I suppose I'm lucky, because I am good at grammar; I don't ever really remember being taught it, so perhaps people whose talents lie in other areas find it more difficult. All I'm really trying to say here is that yes, we have a problem with grammar, but it is not purely down to the 'youth of today'. I am not particularly prescriptivist in my outlook, but if in the future I have to enter a shop to buy "cake's" and then follow it up with a trip next door to acquire "CD's, DVD's" and - worse still - "BOOK's", then you might as well make like that infamous panda who walks into a cafe, eats a sandwich, then whips out his gun and shoot me now.
You can read the offending article here. Notice how comments are no longer accepted on this article; clearly I was not the only one who was inspired to defend the "vandalism" of my peers.
Molly, who is deliberately including an imitation of prosodic features in the form of "x" to show that even fully literate university students are at liberty to use whichever bloody form of language we please. Suck on that, Mr Humphrys. X
P.S. Found this when I searched Google for some of the horrifying errors above and thought it was worth sharing with you. Guess those poor seals aren't the only ones with issues.
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