August 17th: Pre-results ramblings...

It's half past five in the afternoon, and at the moment I'm lying in twenty-eight degree heat on the balcony of my hotel room under a cloudless sky in Fuerteventura, listening to the sea crashing onto the sand just a little further down the volcano I'm currently halfway up. I've been here for a week now and, as does tend to happen on holiday, I feel very detached from the real world. After all it is, quite literally, miles away, and it feels it.

And no, I didn't just start this post like that to make you all jealous. At least, that wasn't the main reason. (Those of you who don't already live in countries with similar climates, that is). It's just that being here makes it rather hard to believe that in less than twenty-four hours my life will have changed for good; no matter what happens, tomorrow is going to bring about a permanent change in my life and that of all seventeen and eighteen year olds in Britain (even if they're not currently in Britain). A Level results day is finally upon us...

Bollocks.

I know I'm not the only one who has, up until today, managed to successfully block the thought of results day from my mind. I mean, if there were a fly in the suncream, results day has to be a pretty big contender. It's very strange to think that come tomorrow, after all this time, all this preparation, exams, applications to this and that, and all the waiting for the last two months, I will finally know where I'm going in September. Will I get the grades? Will I be going to the uni I chose? Or will I - god forbid - fail miserably and be forced to use Clearing or postpone my life until I can reapply next year?

I ask these questions now relatively calmly - they're nothing new. They're questions I - and everybody else - have been asking of ourselves for months so there's no point in panicking now. The worst thing about it is that the exams finished two months ago, and instead of getting the results immediately, we have to endure two months of nothing-we-can-do-about-it-now worry - hence the earlier point about having oh-so-deliberately forgotten about it. In a way, it's actually a relief that it's finally here. At least we can get it out of the way. So, next time I write here, I'll know whether or not I'm going to university this year. Now that's a scary thought if I ever heard one.

I think it's safe to say I won't be getting any sleep tonight.

Besides, I'm sharing a room with my brother and he snores.

Molly x