'Ello bloglings!
I seem to be reverting to my old informal blogging style these days... I hope I'm still making sense, because I tend not to when I'm writing. Whichever examiner reads the English paper I wrote this morning is going to be very well acquainted with the sense of coherency I lack when he or she is finished. I just hope they understand what I was getting at or it's hello retake for me.
But yeah: maybe drop me a comment and tell me which you prefer. Do you want to hear my 'inspirational' pretentious ramblings or do you want to be let into this mediocre existence I call my life, of which only the somewhat interesting bits make it onto here (and mostly not even then). Up to you, bloglings.
Random LOL moment: stumbled across this Facebook group the other day and it really made me laugh, so I thought I'd repeat it here to amuse you lot.
"Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next". So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."
Soooo as of today, I am officially an exam free bitch; free as a Cyber-bird (Doctor Who series two bloopers - YouTube them if you don't know what I'm on about) and ready to... get on with my history coursework. Oh how I love my life. But actually life is looking up - now the exams are over I can look forward to half term, which means jetting orf to Denmark to see my very best friend, the amazing Cora, to whom I am rude enough to live in a different country. And that is brilliant and yet so depressing, because I miss her so much it's like someone ripped half of me off and gave it to her, and now everytime we have to leave again she takes that half away with her. The few days we have together always go so fast and then it's so long before I can see her again... life's not fair. Although saying that, getting to see her at all is so worth how much I miss her when I leave.
It always makes me wonder, thinking about this; why is it that we can be surrounded all day every day by people we're acquainted with, people we don't like, people we don't even know, and yet the one person I wish could be here isn't. I'm jealous of people who pass Cora in the street because at least they have the chance to go up and hug her if they wanted to (not that they would. I mean, I adore hugs, but even I would find it a bit weird if some random person came up to me and hugged me in the street. It'd be like one of the... 'different' people at college coming up and talking to you for ages about whether or not to add you on Facebook (give them a fake name. Just take my word for it. DO NOT TELL THEM YOUR NAME.) They will stalk you.)
Why, of everybody I pass on a daily basis, why are they here and not Cora? Why can't I swap one of them so I can have my best friend here with me like everyone else has theirs? And yet I know that what we have is deeper than normal friendship; it is unbreakable by things that would be detrimental to other friendships - like distance, for example. I know that when I go to uni I will lose touch with people whose company I very much enjoy at the moment, not because I want to but simply because it's hard to keep a friendship going when you sluice away some of the immediacy and intimacy that comes with seeing a person on a day-to-day basis. But Cora and I have built our friendship on so many coincidences - on an internet connection, on both of us being free at the same time, on me posting that fateful comment in the first place, on us both having enough credit to text each other (thank GOD for BBM, it is the BEST invention ever for overseas friends - the hours of conversation we've clawed back from both being in possession of a BlackBerry is incredible)... we have a relationship reliant on technology and therefore distance will never be a problem for us communication wise. But it still sucks. More than it's possible to describe.
All those months of anticipation and excitement we endure before we see each other and then it's over in a flash; not having your best friend there to hug when simply nobody else will do; not being able to look at them when a private joke comes up in conversation and know they're thinking what you're thinking... and then, on a bigger scale, what if something happened to one of us and nobody thought to tell the other? What if she, the person I am truly scared to lose, just disappeared from my life, or I from hers... what would she think? How would I feel, never knowing? (Those of you who know both of us: this is now your responsibility. If anything ever happens to me, you know what you have to do.) This is a really basic, really crappy description, but it is impossible to put into words what I feel regarding this.
This has turned into quite a random post, but since we're on this subject: think about it. Think about your best friend, think about how it would feel to have her or him a thousand miles away from you, or disappear without telling you, and then go and tell them how much they mean to you. It's important that you tell people these things because, morbid as it may be, people don't last forever, and it's a shame that we have to rely on things like death to make us say the words we really mean.
Molly x
3 comments:
Your way with words baffle me on a daily basis, you know exactly how to phrase things so that everyone can relate to your point.
You're right, it's sad that the human race need death to be a hurdle before we jump and say what we really feel but that's the way it is. Only a select few say what they mean on a daily basis and those are the people we should follow because, as you said, it's important that we tell people how much they mean to us.
Promise me you will never change :) xxxxx
Oh Lauren, you are so adorable. Thank you!
I promise I'll never change if you promise me the same thing. And yes, it is, but I suppose it's just so easy to get swept up in life and forget to tell people how much they really mean to you. It's good to just slow down and remember every once in a while. Xxxx
I totally see how our bus journey home related to this. I love the amazing connection that best friends have that keep them so in tune. What you and Cora has is amazing and I feel sorry that wish people you pass were her. It is hard when you don't see your best friend everyday but making the effort is so amazing because you realise that you can't function without each other. We are all going to be like this soon but with contact we will still be able to make a difference even it is just once a week or whatever. They have their separate lives and you have yours but there is a special time when you can share that in the comfort of your own worlds.I think we are all such good friends that will make the effort to keep that bond.
I love you guys x
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